I hold with those who favor fire
by conversingraven
Summary: **(FYI: Fixing old grammatical/spelling errors)** Three years after DV. No war. Max turned to the other factions to stop Jeanine. He did not want Dauntless to become something they were not, and wanted things to remain the same. The other factions agreed and kept the two factions on a sort of probation in the years following. Aptitude tests are all entered manually... Read more
1. Chapter 1 (Natalia's POV)

Three years after DV. No war. Max turned to the other factions to stop Jeanine from taking the situation with the Divergent too far. He did not want Dauntless to become something they were not, and wanted things to remain the same. The other factions agreed and kept the two factions on a sort of probation in the years following. Aptitude tests are all entered manually, enabling Divergents to hide their results, so they are not subject to ridicule. Things changed among all factions, but Abnegation and Erudite still shared indifference. The system was still rocky but had gotten better in recent years. Initiation at 18 not 16.

Natalia's father, Calvin Stephenson, is a Candor leader. Her older brother William had died when she was fifteen, he had been eighteen and was only three months away from taking his aptitude test. Their mother, Jamie Lynn, had been Jeanine Matthews twin sister. She had transferred with Calvin from Erudite. She died giving birth to Natalia. Since her brother had died, Natalia had changed completely, becoming closer than ever to her cousin Matthew (Jeanine's son) who was only a week younger than her. There's much more to the story, so read and find out! (Eric/OC eventually)


	2. Chapter 2 (Natalia's POV)

** Sorry if it starts off slow, I've never done this before and I am trying to set it up so it makes sense. Please leave feedback (good or bad) so I can fix things and learn from any mistakes! Eric/OC eventually... **

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Natalia woke up startled and disoriented, the clock read 0441. She slowly rose, knowing that she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. The nightmares weren't as frequent as they used to be, but when they did happen they were always awful, and normally prevented her from continuing her sleep. She reached under her bed and pulled up the loose floorboard and grabbed her pills; how grateful she was to have them. She hated that she had to take them, but it was necessary for now. She only took the one for the anxiety and at night for insomnia; she had stopped taking the others months before.

She decided to go for a run; she tried to go in the early evenings. Running always helped her forget about the things other than the nightmares that kept being her up at night. Forget about Candor, and how much she hated it.

Forget about Jeanine Matthews and the expectation that she would be her after initiation along with her cousin Matthew. Forget about the hatred she had for the constant control that everyone seemed to have over her. Forget about the pills she used to take in order to keep her shit together. Forget about that terrible day; the day she lost her older brother William.

She missed him more than anything in the world. They had been best friends; she had been his entire world, and he had been his. She spent the last two years of his life around him almost 24/7. She became friends with his crazy group of friends, and they treated her like she belonged. Only three of them had been in Candor, but it had been easy for them all to sneak out and spend time together when they weren't supposed to.

Her father always knew they snuck out; he didn't care much for her, but he would have let William get away with anything but murder. She missed the group and the fun times they had. People had always thought their group's relationship was odd, given that they were all expected to be in separate factions, but none of them cared. They wanted to enjoy their lives before they had to accept the responsibilities they would have after initiation. Not that it mattered all that much now; he died only six months before his initiation ceremony.

Everyone assumed she went running so often because she wanted to be healthy, ready for Erudite and the strict and demanding hours that being a faction leader had, but she just wanted to forget.

She had felt a little bitter in the previous weeks over her future, since that Erudite jackass Richard had expressed his distaste for the attention she and her cousin received. She hadn't given much thought until that moment, that everything was mapped out for her. In a sense, she was privileged for having the attention, even if she barely spoke to Jeanine. But for some reason, it gave her a strange taste in her mouth to have everything so planned out.

She slipped on her white and black running clothes, and her white tennis shoes that she considered highly illogical since she they dirtied so easily. She stretched, not as long as she should have, though. She was being impatient and headed out the door.

She didn't worry about her father hearing her leave; she would be surprised if he was even home. Being a Candor leader he often stayed at the office for days on end. She didn't care; they barely talked anyways. They had never been close and after her brother had died they never bothered to pretend like they got along.

A few weeks after his death she had lost her temper with him, and it resulted in violence. If she were honest, she thought he hated her. He had never actually said, "I hate you," and she had never returned the thought either, but there are some things you just know.

He had said other things in the past, terrible things. She had returned them, but in the previous year, they'd barely spoken. Plus, the way he acted gave his feelings on his daughter away clearly. Others thought that they just chose not to be sentimental in public, she didn't quite care what they thought, though. As long as she didn't ask him. As long as she didn't bring it up, neither of them would speak of it honestly.

That was the funny thing about Candor, they thrive on honesty and value the truth, yet most those in leadership roles did not speak of things they thought weren't important unless directly asked. It was one of the reasons she gave up considering that she would stay in Candor when she was a child. That, and of course the fact that she knew William wouldn't stay.

She flipped on her light and began to jog. She usually took the same exact route, a safe route that took her approximately 5.5 miles and stayed in only the Candor sector. It was lit up and passed by homes and buildings.

Today she felt the need to stray off the beaten path, to let her mind wander. She normally avoided the factionless area between Candor and Abnegation, so she veered toward the area on the opposite side, about ten miles from where Erudite's main labs and libraries were. There was a risk of running into some factionless, but a much less likely chance.

She was to take her aptitude test later on that day, and she was beyond nervous. She was only seventeen, but since her eighteenth birthday was during the initiation period, they allowed her to be considered an adult early. If she was honest; she was scared. She detested being honest! She hated Candor. She preferred having secrets; it kept things interesting and people out of her business. Constantly being forced into the truth had given her a bitter taste in her mouth.

Erudite.. Maybe she would be happy there. Not many people knew that Jeanine had been her mother, Jami-Lynn's sister. Jamie-Lynn and her father had both transferred to Candor from Erudite. She had died giving birth to her, so they all had an odd relationship to one another. It was rarely spoken about in Candor, which was rare considering the members of Candor never seemed to stop talking.

In Erudite, it probably would be long forgotten if she hadn't remained close to Matthew, especially in the three years since William had died.

Not only was Matthew's birthday was during initiation as well, but they were only a week apart since she was born prematurely at seven weeks. They looked so much alike that any time she was around them it was hard for people not to take note of it. They both bad blonde hair and bright blue eyes, sharp features and athletic figures. Natalia had always wished she knew what her mother looked like; she had to have been the spitting image of her sister.

Jeanine and she didn't actually speak that much, she was a busy woman, as most leaders were. However she knew Jeanine was the reason she was in the complex courses in school with the Erudite students, why she was given extra privileges to visit Erudite, why she was able to be around Matthew and Anthony so much, and why the rumors of her following in her aunt's footsteps spread through both of their factions.

She was taught to play the piano (her brother taught her how to play the guitar, he had learned from one of his best friends, a Dauntless-born names Michael), to speak French (an old language, and not well), among so many other things.

Jeanine was a proud person; appearances meant everything to her. It made sense that her niece and her son had to be the best of the best, so no one questioned the extra attention she was paid. Her father looked the other way; she knew he told the other Candor leaders knew there was no point in trying to instill an honest way if she was just going to leave them. Plus she rarely saw them, so she never mentioned that her father still forced it on her, nor that he didn't care at all.

It would be such a huge relief to leave, but she still worried she would hate Erudite like Benson did. Benson had been one of William's best friends, maybe even more than that. She never had the chance to ask them since he had transferred from Candor to Erudite three years prior. No one would never replace William, but they were like a brother to her all the same. Just like the rest of their posse. She hadn't spoken to most of them in years.

These were her many thoughts as she jogged, finally stopping to stretch again, feeling her calf's beginning to burn for not stretching enough beforehand. She let her mind wander as she stretched, thinking about the different factions and what her life might be like after the next day.

Candor is the leaders of the law, establishing justice and the responsibilities that came with honesty in all things. The problem other factions had with Candor is they are brutally honest, they lack any senses of respect or self-preservation and are rude to other factions, and each other. They tell it how it is, and of course, those who are in the faction don't mind. If everyone knows all of your secrets there is no point in lying, you have nothing to hide.

Erudite was the opposite, they respected politeness and thought it showed a sense of intelligence. They valued knowledge and live their lives in pursuit of knowledge and worked in labs as scientists, teachers, doctors, and most other jobs that required a quick wit.

She was relatively quiet for a Candor; it never bothered most people since they knew the high likelihood of her being Erudite. She had a few friends, just not many. She was too close to Matthew, and spent most of her time with him and his few friends, Anthony being his closest. She was fine with it, though. not valuing Candor's honesty to it's fullest. In her strongest opinion, she figured that perhaps the reason we are made to keep thoughts inside, is because they are meant to be inside. They aren't meant to be released without caution.

She enjoyed to read and study, and she never struggled in school because things just seemed easy to her. She remembered things easily and could analyze situations easily. She read body language well because of her teachings in Candor, so the mix of the two gave her keen ability to adapt to any situation and would make her a strong leader someday, at least that is what Jeanine told her.

She began to jog again, her mind running as fast as her blood.

Dauntless, where William would have gone. She had always admired him for wanting to go there. Dauntless were in charge of the security of all factions, protecting the fence lines as well as the areas the factionless lived. They were a brutal faction, and before the problems with Erudite's search for Divergent was brought to an end in years previous they had cuts on their initiation.

The two factions were still monitored closely by the others but had gained a large amount of trust over the past few years. She knew more than most about the initiation programs because she spent so much time with Matthew and was favored by her teachers and the leadership in Erudite. She had learned that since the problems the Dauntless had dwindling numbers staying in or transferring to the faction. They didn't cut joining members unless necessary. They still had a cut-throat program that consisted of three training sections that were ranked. She thought highly of the faction, as many did since Max was the one who reported the problems with Erudite searching for Divergent.

She laughed to herself as she thought of amity, there would be no possible way she could be an amity! Those hippies were always happy. Too happy. And to work on a farm? No, thank you! The funny part is that her best friend would be transferring to Amity, Nolan. Abnegation; the selfless who ran the government. She couldn't even imagine spending life in Abnegation! She was far to selfish to even consider such an idea.

Natalia was consumed in her thoughts, as she normally was on her runs. She turned a sharp corner she ran into something solid with a thud, falling over. "Oomph!" She looked up to see that the object she had run into was actually a man. A tall and very well built man. She stood slowly as he looked her up and down, it was dark enough that she could only tell that he was wearing black and had two maze-like tattoos poking out of his collar.

Her eyes widened as she took a step back, he was obviously a Dauntless member, and the tattoos were those of a superior, possibly a leader. Shit! She tried to think back to when she had met the leaders of Dauntless, remembering little.

"What the hell is a little Candor-girl like yourself doing out and about so early?" he snapped loudly. She remained silent and glanced down, having no idea how to reply.

God-dammit, why couldn't she think straight? She didn't want to deal with this today. She gulped and looked up at him, opening her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Lord was he intimidating! She saw his smirk.

"What's wrong? You don't seem to be scared of running in the dark; you can't possibly be afraid of me?" he replied and stepped toward her.

After a moment, her mind began to run, and she felt her heartbeat pumping rapidly. From the adrenaline from the run or the confrontation, she didn't know. All she knew was that she really REALLY didn't want to deal with this now. She hadn't been trying to cause trouble she just wanted to clear her head. She felt herself getting frustrated. She had her test today, and this would complicate matters with her father if this man did anything about her breaking curfew.

The man took another step toward her, "maybe you are scared, or are you brain-dead?" he asked, smirk fading. She finally responded, her words coming out clearly and demanding, "Why do you care?" and stepped around him.

Where had the hell that come from? She was beyond shocked that she had spoken like that, and even more shocked that he didn't reply or stop her. She glanced back to see him staring at her; it was too dark to see his expression. She turned and began to jog again, wanting to get as far away from that possibility as she could.

She picked up her pace, just in case he decided to do something about it. Seriously, where the hell did that come from? Glancing at her running watch, she realized the sun would be up soon. She headed back towards her home to get ready for the long day she had ahead.


	3. Chapter 3 (Natalia's POV)

She walked through the noisy hallways of the largest building in Candor toward her father's office. She had no clue why she'd been called there, what could he possibly want? She hadn't seemed him in days, nor did she intend on seeing him until the choosing ceremony the following day. With only an hour until her test too! She walked quickly, her heels clicking on the marble floors.

God did she detest heels! Her father insisted that it was professional, most of the females wore them for work. Some of the girls still in school were expected to wear them, and she was one of them. It bothered her; they didn't think politeness was necessary but looking presentable was? It was just silly, and of course, once she was in Erudite she knew that Jeanine would expect it most of the time too. Erudite prided themselves on politeness and looking professional, as it was a form of intelligence to show such respect.

As she reached the counter where her father's assistant was she was told he was in a conference room on the top floor. She jogged toward the elevator pushing the button multiple times, impatiently waiting for the doors to open. She considered that he might want to speak to her run this morning since had reprimanded her the previous month for running during hours that were not deemed "safe." She shrugged off the thought, as it was an unnecessary conversation to have considering she would be leaving the next day.

"Oi, Natalia! Wait up!" She turned to see her good friend Nolan jogging toward her. "You're walking the wrong way, our tests are in the building next door. The elevator doesn't go to the bottom floor!"

She sighed and explained that her father had asked to see her before her test, and told him she would walk with him after. He took that as an invitation to follow her upstairs.

They continued in silence when on the elevator, she could tell he was nervous since Nolan was always talking. He was also always so happy. He apparently noticed that she felt nervous too, as they neared the top floor he looked at her and asked, "how can you tell if someone is going to be Erudite?"

What an odd question, she smiled and replied, "Nolan you aren't worried that you aren't amity are you? You know you are, and you have a choice in the matter."

He laughed nervously, "I suppose you are right, but it must be easy for you.. you know you are meant to be in Euridite," he told her as they stepped off the elevator.

She stopped suddenly, annoyed at first with the thought that is was easy for her, she knew he didn't mean it in a bad way though. That was impossible for him.

She had always enjoyed Nolan's company, he was kind hearted and, he didn't ask her questions. He enjoyed to talk anyways so their friendship blossomed in large part to that. He compensated for some of the qualities she didn't have. Although she could never be amity she, didn't want him to be nervous for something she thought he was destined for. They had been intimate a few times, but it never sparked into more than their friendship. She was grateful to have him in her life.

She remembered what she had read in a book when researching her anxiety, that distracting someone could help ease nervousness and panic. She almost laughed in thinking of the phrase "laughter is the best medicine."

She turned to him with the cheesiest smile she could muster and replied, "do you really want to know how? Matthew told me how he thinks they test for Erudite" He grinned cheerily and nodded. "I want you to do something for me." he nodded again. She pointed to the right with both of her thumbs while saying "I need you to look left for me."

He looked to the right. She couldn't help but laugh as he came to the realization that he had looked the wrong way. He joined her in laughing and put his arm around her as they walked toward the conference rooms at the end of the long hallway.

"You know, you're kind of great when you aren't being so serious Talia!" he told her. "I'm going to miss you." She pushed him away and rolled her eyes, oh yes, she would definitely miss Nolan. He as the only one she knew well enough that would laugh at such an awful and terrible joke.

She walked to the main desk for the largest conference room. "Hello Ben, where is my father?" she asked one of the assistants for the floor. He looked up at her from the desk and replied "in a faction meeting, he just wanted you to sign these forms. They are for your medications to be transferred to your future faction."

She didn't bother containing her annoyance, she hadn't even taken the test yet for gods sake!

"This really couldn't have been done later? What meeting, the factions are all preparing for initiations." She mentally smacked herself; she knew better than to be curious, it just left people open to asking her questions that she hated to answer.

Ben looked up to reply as she moved the forms to a lower counter blocked from his view. She bent over to sign them, but he had stopped his reply when the door to the largest conference room opened.

She quickly handed him back the forms and began to walk away as leaders dressed in all different colors excited the room. She stopped and stood straight as she saw her father emerge with Jack, another leader of Candor with Jeanine and her assistant Jeremy in tow. She considered running toward the elevator; Jack could be nosy. With Nolan next to her she didn't bother. He would just slow her down, and he always had to make a point of talking to people, hell, she would probably have to drag him away.

"Hello father," she spoke curtly, standing straight. He replied to her quickly, "Natalia, I thought you would have already been gone. Your test is soon so you should hurry that way." She felt her jaw clench, of course, that was it; she didn't expect more.

Why did she feel a sharp pang in her chest? She began to turn, reaching to drag Nolan away but was distracted when she heard a high but firm voice. "

Natalia! How are you today, I'm sure you are beyond excited that this day has finally come! Now I haven't met your friend here," Jeanine spoke to her yet looked at him.

She looked at Jeanine directly, noting that her assistant Jonathan and another leader Rosanne were right behind her, as always. She replied firmly and professionally as she normally did when speaking to the Erudite leaders. Perhaps that is why her father hated her, because he conveyed every emotion possible on his face when speaking and never bothered to be polite to other leaders.

"This is Nolan Bright. Nolan meet Jeanine Matthews."

She didn't bother answering the other question, she didn't know why people bothered asking her how she was if they really didn't care. Maybe she didn't agree with the full amount of politeness after all, but just respect? Or maybe she was just annoyed from functioning on such little sleep.

She watched Jeanine shake Nolan's hand; he smiled at her "It is really great to meet you, I am beyond excited to take my test today!" Of course, he was, he was excited about everything, like a freaking puppy. "I can't believe this day has finally come!"

Jeanine looked at him and glanced back to Natalia. Natalia wondered if it was because she was curious as to why she might be friends with someone who was so happy, when Natalia normally was not, or because she somehow knew that at one point Nolan and she had attempted to be more than friends. Matthew could have easily told her, although Natalia didn't believe that he would have. He wasn't as close to his mother as most thought; Jeanine was far too busy.

As if that mattered, though, Jeanine should be used to such things; the rumor was that Erudite was the most curious faction. And by rumor, she meant she knew it was a fact because she spent more time with the Erudite kids in recent years than the Candor.

The crowd of leaders in the hallway grew as did the noise from the conversations. Natalia noticed that Nolan was glancing at the amity leaders who were speaking to the Abnegation as he listened to Jeanine explain to him about the importance of the aptitude test and how this was "such an important day in their lives."

She stopped listening as she noticed the factions speaking to one another respectfully. Things had been better in recent years as the factions were finally beginning to get along with one another. Erudite was no longer hunting Divergents due to Max, the lead Dauntless leader putting his foot down in the matter, no longer wishing to be run by Erudite. The other factions were notified of the testing and Jeanine's strive for control, and both factions had been on a sort of probation ever since.

"I hope that you have an idea of what your test results may be. It is enlightening to know that most people already know what faction they belong in well before taking their aptitude test."

She smiled at Nolan, about to say more but was interrupted by Natalia's father, "they should go so they aren't late Jeanine." Jeanine nodded to him, her eyes are not matching her smile.

It was an interesting sight, as Natalia rarely saw her aunt and father converse.

As they turned to leave Natalia realized a man standing with the Dauntless leaders was staring at her. Well, glaring was a better word for it. She recognized him as the same man she had run into that morning; in the light, he looked even more intimidating. She watched as his eyes glanced back and forth between her and the people she had been conversing with.

She knew who he was, but had only seen him a few times. Probably why she hadn't recognized him in the dark. He was a Dauntless leader; the youngest one they had ever had. She didn't remember his name but knew that he had been the one that Jeanine worked with in Dauntless when she was researching for the Divergent. That would explain why he was giving quite an awful look toward her aunt, or perhaps he was as ruthless and nasty as the rumors said.

She looked at him with the same expression she had given her father, quickly noting the eyebrow piercings, large black earlobe piercings, and lip piercing. She saw now that the tattoos peeking out of his collar were the ones that marked him as a leader. His sleeves were rolled to his upper wrists, and she saw that arms were covered as well; she doubted that they didn't continue under the rest of his clothing.

She glanced back to his eyes, regretting it instantly. She was almost positive that he could burn a hole through someone with this dark eyes. She clenched her jaw again, such a bad habit. Quickly saying goodbye she turned toward the elevator.

She heard Nolan tell them that he enjoyed meeting them and jogged after her. He smiled to her as they got in the elevator, mentioning that they had been friends too long for him not to have met Jeanine until that moment. She returned his smile and answered shortly as always. She couldn't shake the thoughts of the intimidating Dauntless leader who had just looked at her as if he could see her soul.


	4. Chapter 4 (Eric's POV)

**Eric's POV! ** please leave feedback, as I mentioned before I have never done this before! ****

Eric was tired, annoyed, and pissed off. Jackson and Chris had been driving him crazy for weeks. Andrea hadn't been as bad, but near it. He hated initiation and hated that it was only a few days away. There was always too many meetings beforehand, during, and he hated the niave little initiates. It wouldn't be so bad if he worked with only the Dauntless born, but Max made him help with both.

It was far too early for him to be going to a meeting. It didn't start for another two hours, yet he had been raised before the fucking sun was even up.

At least the leadership meeting was in Candor and not Erudite. He hated visiting Erudite. The likelihood of running into his older brother Richard, or his sister Maribeth was too high. Richard was eight years older and an absolute prick. Maribeth was eleven years older and nearly as bad.

His parents, however, locked themselves away in the top secret labs in the main Erudite building, he hadn't seen them since the year after he transferred but he knew that they didn't quite care for him anyways.

Not that he wanted to speak to them. His family hated him. He hated them for hating him. And he hated them for being them. Mostly because they reminded him of who he was. He would never be able to change himself enough, even if he hadn't spoken to his them in over three years.

They all were as bad as Jeanine, power-hungry, vain, and although they were smart, they thought everyone who wasn't was dirt beneath their shoes. He hadn't spoken to Jeanine more than a sentence or two in the past year, not only because he wasn't allowed (an unspoken rule by Max) but because he didn't want to.

Eric was no saint, not even close, but he had been trying to cut back being a complete asshole during the past couple of years. He had been given a second chance by Max, so he had to try. The day that Max had told him he wanted to go to the other factions about Jeanine's drive for power and hunt for the Divergent, he had felt a suprising sense of relief.

He didn't want to be the type of man that everyone hated. The power hungry bastard that was feared. He had a few select friends, but that was about it. He thought that he didn't deserve more anyways. Not with the way he had treated people in the past. He deserved to suffer.

He had believed in every word Jeanine had told him. He would have done anything to prove himself to her. Why? Fuck. Why!? Why had he let himself be so stupid? To follow such a power-hungry bitch to all ends? Of course, he knew why. He just hated himself for it.

He had wanted his family to stop treating him like he was dirt on the bottom of their shoes for having an aptitude for Dauntless. The day he had found out nearly crushed him. He was brilliant, beyond brilliant. Richard had always been jealous of Jeanine's attention to him, the rumor when he had still been in Erudite is that he would be alongside Jeanine's son Matthew in being of Erudite's next generation of leaders. It was no surprise that he was the youngest Dauntless leader ever, or in any faction for that matter.

Matthew was years younger than him, but at the time they had been testing at the same levels, and beyond every person within ten years pf them. Now that Eric was thinking about it, Matthew was supposed to choose this year. He wondered if he turned out to be as awful as his mother was. He hoped not, Matthew had seemed like he had a different set of brains than his mother.

Every time Eric thought about his old faction and his old life he felt bile in his throat. He had been a terrible person because of his need to please them. The day of his test he went to speak to Jeanine immediately. She told him that it was unexpected, but he should trust the test. Then she told him that he would still be a valuable asset to her while he was in Dauntless.

He had been so happy when hearing her tell him that. He had been nieve and blinded by the jealousy of his older siblings success in Erudite. He wanted that. He wanted to be the best of the best, and he wouldn't have stopped until he was. Jeanine convinced him to see his transfer as a blessing, not a curse. So he did. He was thankful for only that aspect of Jeanine's wisdom.

Eric hopped off the train somewhere between the Erudite and Candor sectors, he could have stayed on longer, but since he was running early he felt that a short walk wouldn't hurt. He walked for a few minutes past the dark buildings, needing no light to see. He had Eleven fears, but the dark wasn't one of them.

"Oomph!" something small and solid had quickly rounded a corner and ran into him. What the fuck? Eric looked to see that the object that had run into him was a girl dressed in black and white, she had fallen on the ground and was looking up at him intently. He narrowed his eyes at her, not just to intimidate her but because he could barely see her.

He folded his arms as she slowly rose, he could see her eyes looking him up and down and finally setting on the leadership tattoos he had opted to put on his neck. It had been painful as shit, but he had wanted them in a location everyone could see. She must have realized he was Dauntless because he saw the whites of her eyes widen. He wished he had brought a light.

He couldn't tell if she was old enough to be a full Candor member or not, only that the curve of her body told him that she was in shape, and her hair was light. Now that she was standing straight he noted that she had to have been around 5'5, maybe 5'6.

"What the hell is a little Candor-girl like yourself doing out and about so early?" he asked her loudly, it came out as cruel. She didn't reply to him. Instead she looked down at the ground. He held his glare but felt amusement at the possibility of her being scared. He thought about how fucked up that was.

The Candor girl looked up at him, her light shining toward the ground so he could finally see some of her features. She opened her mouth to reply as he continued glaring at her. She looked familiar, although he didn't know why. He didn't make a habit of fraternizing with Candor, they were annoying and never shut the hell up.

Maybe he didn't recognize her; maybe he just found her attractive. He shouldn't, she did look young enough not to have taken her aptitude test yet. If that was the case, she was breaking curfew. Why was she running in the middle of the night?

She still hadn't replied to him. He let his amusement finally show and smirked, "what's wrong? You don't seem to be scared of running in the dark, you can't possibly be afraid of me?" he told and stepped forward. She stared at him, expressionless. Interesting, usually Candor showed even the smallest emotion on their face. Everything was always out in the open.

He stepped toward her again, still amused that he was affecting her this much. She had to have been breaking curfew, and definitely not a full Candor member. A full Candor member would have not only answered him but tried to tell him their entire life story by this point.

Her face was still expressionless, so he wasn't sure if she was scared of him, "maybe you are scared, or are you brain-dead?" he asked. He stopped smiling as he felt himself getting annoyed.

She finally responded, her words coming out clear as day, conveying no fear.

"Why do you care?"

That surprised him so much that he didn't stop her as she stepped around him. What the fuck? He watched her begin to jog again as if she had forgotten he existed. If she had been a Dauntless member he would have reprimanded her, or beat the shit out of her.

Instead he watched her jog away. As she rounded a corner he, realized he would have to see if she would be at the choosing ceremony the next day. He had no doubt that he recognized her. He shook the thought and walked toward the Candor building to meet up with the other leaders and their assistants/ambassadors. His inner Erudite curiosity remaining as he attempted to forget about the Candor girl that had just ran into him.

...

"We don't need to have more security at the choosing ceremony. The factionless have been staying away altogether, in the past few months" Max told the large meeting room. Mackenzie, one of the Erudite leaders, spoke up next, "if Jack feels that more security is necessary, perhaps you should oblige. You have plenty of members to spare, for events that are as important as this it should be a top priority."

Eric rolled his eyes at the statement, he knew all to well that Erudite thought themselves to know it all, when in all actuality they knew very little of the way the security was set up, only about the things they helped build to keep it. They didn't understand that since Dauntless only accepted a set amount of initiates in the past, their numbers had dwindled. If they added more security to the choosing ceremony, it took away from the security Amity had for two days.

Max was the one who oversaw security procedures for such events, and anything that happened with Dauntless. The other four leaders each were assigned a faction to oversee. Eric worked with Amity. He hated it, but it was better than working with Abnegation. Max knew that it would affect the entire schedule at the gates on the south side, the guards that worked with the Amity, and possibly the guards that worked on the North gates near the factionless.

"Unfortunately, that is not an option. Adding more security to the ceremony takes away from the security elsewhere. Which is an unnecessary precaution." Max explained to Mackenzie. She opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted

"Erudite will not be using two of our main medical laboratories for the next two days, perhaps some of the security in our sector could be used for the ceremony?" Jeanine added to the conversation. The other three Erudite's at the table murmured in agreement. Johanna replied to her before Max could, "the factionless have never attacked us at our ceremonies. I think we should give them the benefit of the doubt, and not assume that they will leave us be." Eric rolled his eyes again. This was going to turn into an argument.

Max cleared his throat as some of the leaders began to put their say in, Abnegation normally lead the meeting but had remained silence throughout. "I can assure you that I have my best men scheduled for the event," Max spoke loud and clear.

He paused, smiling charmingly at the other leaders. "I will be in attendance as well as most of our leaders and a few supervisors," he explained further. "We can minimize security within Dauntless, we are all trained soldiers so it will not be an inconvenience. The ceremony will be well guarded, there is nothing to worry about, I assure you." A few of the Abnegation and Candor leaders nodded, as well as Johanna and two Amity who had volunteered for the meeting.

Eric smirked. Max would probably only bring one or two extra Dauntless to the ceremony than originally planned. Eric had been in Dauntless for almost five years, four of them as a leader, and he was still amazed when he watched Max charm his way out of things like this. Especially with women, Mackenzie seemed to have began to let the matter be and was looking at him as if she wanted to devour him. It was rather odd, that simple statements such as that could be spoken by Max in such a way that made people want to listen to him. That was a leadership quality that Eric was slightly envious of; it was admirable just as everything else was about him.

Eric noticed out of the corner of his eye that Jeanine had been watching his reaction. He could have cared less; she knew how much he looked up to Max. Jack Kang and the other Candor leaders began discussing the timeline of the next day. Eric didn't return the look and opted to ignore her; he listened intently to the matters of the meeting. He was precise, and although he hated leadership meetings that had all the factions together, he wanted to know every bit of information he could.

After two hours of the leaders discussing their training procedures for new initiates, and a third discussing the events of the following few days, the meeting finally adjourned. Eric exited the room with his fellow leaders and stood while Max and Abigail spoke to the Abnegation leaders. He took no part in the conversation; he typically didn't when Abnegation was involved, his Erudite upbringing had taught him they were an unnecessary faction. A fact he still agreed with even being in Dauntless. He reminded Four of it often.

He glanced around the hall, setting the group speaking next to the assistant's counter. Jeanine was speaking to a young man dressed in black and white. Standing next to him was a girl dressed similarly, but had heels on. He narrowed his eyes, realizing that the girl was the one he had seen the night before.

Eric compared Jeanine to the girl, realizing there was no possible way they were not related closely. The girl looked like a female version of Jeanine's son, Matthew. Not just that, but she was extremely attractive. Eric knew that Matthew had cousins in Candor, she must have been one of them. Calvin Stephenson interrupted whatever Jeanine had been saying to the young Candor, Jeanine nodding to him in agreement.

The Candor girl turned to leave with her friend, her eyes landing on him during the movement. She faltered slightly, looking him up and down quickly then meeting his eyes. Her face remained expressionless, but her jaw clenched. He continued staring at her, returning the impassive gaze as she quickly turned to leave. The other Candor boy smiled at Jeanine and the other leaders and said something, then turned to follow his friend. Eric watched as the walked to the elevator, enjoying the view until he turned back to his fellow Dauntless leaders conversation..


	5. Chapter 5 (Natalia's POV)

Natalia sat down in the large chair that the Abnegation had ushered her to. She looked at the mirrored walls, her heart racing with nervousness. She was suddenly grateful for her time at Candor, for she had learned not only how to show little to no expression but how to read body language. She knew how to hide her emotions and how to read others. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, noting how badly she needed to cut her blonde hair, it ran down her back, thin and flat.

She looked into her own eyes, thinking of how William had her father's eyes, a deep brown. She remembered the mischievous look they had always had in them. She shrugged of the thought of him and focused on the drink that the Abnegation had given her, she could have sworn the woman had spoken to her, but she had been too distracted to listen. She had been doing that too much the past few days.

 _Erudite._

 _Of course._

 _She knew that._

 _Everyone knew that._

 _She expected that._

 _That wasn't an issue at all._

 _That was her future._

 _Dauntless._

 _Wait?_

 _Had she heard incorrectly?_

 _Dauntless?_

 _That wasn't her._

 _Was it?_

 _No._

 _It couldn't be._

 _That was William._

 _Not her._

 _Jeanine can't know._

 _Shit._

 _Shit._

 _Jeanine can never know._

 _Shit._

She quickly walked to her home quickly after leaving the testing rooms. She had told the Abnegation woman to put her results as Erudite, as most people expected her to receive. She had no idea what her aunt would do if she found out. She never expected this.

She would choose Erudite. Obviously. that is why she begged her to hide the results. She knew she had anger problems. Since her brother died she had a short amount of patience with stupidity, yet she had been doing so well with controlling it. Was that just the Dauntless in disguise?

This was an option that all divergents had; the changes after the problems with Erudite hunting divergents led to the solution of all test results being entered manually. They were also un-accessible after being taken, and the factions could only see the footage of those taking the tests, not the simulation. Erudite had pitched a fit over it, but the other factions agreed that it was the only way to avoid conflict from those who tested multiple factions.

She felt like vomiting. She mentally thanked her father for making her late to the tests. She had been the last Candor, so there was no one outside when she exited. She jogged toward her house, trying to think straight.

..

..

The next morning Natalia dressed in black tight pants with a white tank top, a black cardigan covering it. She threw her hair up in the ponytail and headed out the door, toward her father's office.

She had opted to wear comfortable flats instead of the normal heels, hoping her father wouldn't mention it, not that she would care. She met him outside of the building and began to walk with him toward the choosing ceremony. The Candor walking around them were in full conversation, she ignored the noise and shifted her thoughts to her conversation with Matthew the previous evening after he had shown up at her home.

...

..

 _"Natalia! Natalia are you here?" she heard her cousin Matthew yelling from the doorway. She ran down the stairs, knowing immediately something was wrong. "Yes Matthew I.. - What's wrong?" he was looking at her as if she had a bug on her face. "Matthew what?" she asked again._

 _He said nothing as he walked to her living area and sat on the conch, putting his head in his hands._

 _"Natalia, I.." he paused and looked up at her, eyes red._ _"She can't know about this. She will hate me, Natalia! I don't know what to do! You have to help me."_

..

..

"Natalia, Jack is speaking to you," she heard her father say. Were they at the ceremony already? She had gotten lost in thought again, looking at Jack she asked him to repeat what he had said. "Natalia, I know you will do very well at Erudite, and I look forward to working with you in the future." He patted her father on the back, telling him he did an excellent job raising her.

She replied to him curtly, lying easily when thanking him, agreeing and saying she looked forward to working with him as well.

As they sat in their seats in the Candor section she glanced around at the many different colors; it was mesmerizing to see the mix of factions. Every so often they had public meetings, but they were rare.

She had never attended a choosing ceremony; had never wanted to since William had died.

As people began taking their seats and the noise quieted, her nerves began to rise. She wasn't ready for this. What was wrong with her? She was always so controlled; she didn't normally get lost in her thoughts as she had been in the previous few days. What would William say to her? What would he think of this situation? She wished so deeply that he was still alive to be there for them.

A hush fell over the room as people settled into their seats, Johanna taking the stage to make the speech for that year. It was a cheerful talk, beginning explaining the history of the factions as well as the responsibilities of each. It seemed like the normally expected speech that one might have for an event, just with an added cheeriness and excessive amount of smiling added to it.

The end of the speech was affected Natalia, "You have taken your aptitude test. The test meant to tell you who you are as a person. In recent years, we have come to known of those who test for multiple factions. It is not an easy choice for those, but regardless of our results we have to make decisions we are not prepared for. That is life. As most of your know, the age of initiation was raised to eighteen many years ago, but I was sixteen when we took our tests. I transferred to amity from Erudite. It was one of the hardest choices I have ever had to make, to leave my family and friends, tp choose a life of peace over a life of knowledge. The life I had grown up around, the mentality I knew so well, I left behind. I do not regret my choice in the slightest. As a child, I studied as much as a normal Erudite would, but always felt as if something was missing from my life. I loved being in Erudite, but it never felt like home to me. In my studies, I once came across a novel. A diary, from the world before the wars and terror that led to our faction system. A quote from this diary stuck with me, "the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands." I want you to remember this quote, as I always have. I say this to you with the deepest kindness in my heart that you must trust your aptitude test, but you must always trust yourself. This is one of the most important decisions you will make in your lifetime. My hopes for you all is that you follow who you truly are and that you may find happiness and joy in your decision. May peace be with you all."

Applause rang throughout the hall, the Erudite section being almost as quiet as the Abnegation. Natalia could only imagine the eye rolls that her aunt must have had during the speech. Although her sister and Johanna had been friends once, she knew Jeanine felt very strongly that one should choose only their test results. It was one of the biggest reasons she hadn't like the Divergent; in her mind, to have more than one choice gave the citizens too much control.

Natalia scoffed the thought of Jeanine's favor for control. Oh, how her aunt loved to control everything! She had not just Matthew's life mapped out but hers as well, a straight-forward path to leadership. She felt a course of anger run through her.

She was beyond glad that Jeanine had been put in her place so many years back. Hell, Jeanine needed to be put in her place again.

As Johanna stepped back to the stage and began to call names for choosing, Natalia thought about what she was about to do. Why did she feel like this? Why was she questioning this? The test was right; she knew that. She knew that she was meant for Erudite! So why did she feel sick to her stomach when she thought of her actual results?

Nolan was called to the stage; he marched to the stage cheerfully. Natalia cheered loudly as Nolan chose to transfer to Amity, the smile still spread wide across his face. She was glad he would be happy; Nolan had been a good friend to her. She was glad that he knew where he was meant to be.

After what seemed like never ending amount of names, Natalia heard her cousin's name.

"Matthew Charleston Matthews!"

She heard some of the Candor and Dauntless snicker, she understood why others thought his name was odd, but never bothered to question it. Who cared anyways? A name was just a name, it was what you did with it that mattered.

Matthew walked to the stage and picked up the clean knife without looking at his mother, his head held high, his grip firm. He walked to the bowls and paused, then turned his gaze toward the Candor section, quickly finding Natalia and locking eyes with her. She could see now that he was no longer upset as he was last night, but angry.

He made a small cut in his hand and held it over the burning goals without hesitation.

Johanna looked shocked as she called his choice, glancing toward Erudite at his mother.

"Dauntless."

There was silence from the Erudite section. Matthew kept his head tilted high as walked toward the loud cheers.

Natalia felt her father tense beside her. The Candor crowd around her glanced back in surprise, not expecting Erudite's golden boy to transfer out of his faction. But she kept her eyes on the stage, hating being the center of the attention, she waited impatiently for her name to be called.

"Natalia Jean Stephenson!"

She stood up straight and stepped past her father who kept his eyes on the stage. He said nothing to her, didn't even glance at her, as she exited the aisle. She hadn't expected him to, but it made her clench her jaw anyways.

She felt the sharp pang in her chest.

As she walked down the aisle between the Candor and Dauntless sections she counted every step, anger building up inside of her. She would be glad if she never had to speak to her father again. Everyone thought he was a great man, but he wasn't. Especially after her brother died. He was neglectful. Her aunt was the same with Matthew, ensuring he had a perfect life but never giving him the attention he deserved.

Natalia knew what she was going to do. She knew what she had to do just like Matthew did. She remembered the conversation they had the night before, how upset he had been. Matthew deserved better.

She picked up the knife and walked to the five bowls. Without hesitation, just like Matthew, she cut her hand and held it above the burning coals.

Because she didn't want to be like her aunt.

She couldn't live a happy life in Erudite.

She needed to heal.

This was the only way to do it.

Johanna called her choice in the same expression as she had when calling Matthews choice, Cheers rang loudly from the Dauntless area. Natalia walked toward the cheers and sat next to him, who was glaring ahead at the stage.

"We did it," he told her quietly."

Natalia nodded back and watched the stage.

They listened to the remaining names to be called without speaking, clapping when Dauntless did. "Andrew Ross Wight."

She watched as Matthew's close friend pick up the knife and hold his hands above the coals as they had. Natalia was surprised, she glanced at Matthew, who answered her quietly.

"I expected that." She half-smiled at Andrew as he walked up to them, ready for their new lives to begin.


	6. Chapter 6 (Natalia's POV)

Natalia threw her cardigan off and ran with the group of Dauntless initiates, all of which were yelling and hollering along the way. She hadn't looked back at anyone; there would be no point to it. She was Dauntless now. She knew that Andrew and Matthew were right behind her, and it helped alleviate the anxiety she felt bubbling in her chest. She knew that her and Matthew would have a long talk ahead of them.

"C'mon Candor, the train!"

She glanced to see the guy that had been a few seats down from her at the ceremony. He helped her onto the train and patted the space next to him as he say. The boy was a Dauntless-born, tall, and handsome. SO handsome, with bright green eyes. She watched as he pushed himself back up and helped Andrew and Matthew who were climbing onboard behind him.

The boy turned to her, "I'm Daniel! And you are...?" he leaned in so she could hear, and motioned toward her.

"Natalia!" she shouted so he could hear over the train, they shook hands. He looked back to Andrew and Matthew, narrowing his eyes.

"Are you two related?" he hollered to Natalia, pointing at Matthew.

As she was going to answer a yell from across the train car interrupted, "Hey Danny who's the hot chick!" Daniel laughed as another piped up "way to start quickly with the transfers!" He shrugged at her as if apologizing, introducing her to a few other Dauntless-born.

"This is Mac, Todd, and that sweet-thang over there is Callie!" he pointed toward a girl next to Todd.

"Nice to meet you!" she yelled back and returned to her conversation with Todd and another Candor transfer, Justin. Talia never got along with him, but she nodded to, and he returned the gesture while narrowing his eyes at her and glancing to Matthew.

Daniel leaned in and whispered that he would introduce her to the others later, as they weren't as cool as his friends anyways. He winked at her and turned to ask Mac a question. She shrugged and glanced at the two Erudite boys waiting on her, noticing Matthew's glare toward Daniel.

She ignored it and sat down with them, "why didn't you tell me that you were Dauntless, Andrew?"

He smiled at her, "I suppose I didn't think it mattered. I thought that you would be in Erudite with your cousin."

She thought of how Andrew wasn't bad on the eyes, definitely not as attractive as Daniel.

Matthew smirked, "he isn't smart enough for Erudite."

Andrew made a face as if he were shocked,"Hey!" he exclaimed. She laughed with them.

"So explain to me why both of you chose Dauntless. It's rather, unexpected.." he asked them both.

Matthew gave her a look that told her that they needed to speak before telling Andrew their reasons. Matthew told him that they wanted a different life than Erudite had to offer, Andrew only nodded and glanced at Natalia. She could tell he knew there was more to it than that. Natalia looked at the large train car, full of Dauntless-born as well as transfers.

She heard the boy named Frankie to bring up what they might expect during training. She knew as much as they did, enough to be prepared but not specific details. The Dauntless training changed every few years, but she knew that this year there were four stages of training. Conditioning and obstacle courses for two weeks (as well as other training), fights for two weeks, two weeks of fear simulations, and two weeks of more obstacle courses and training.

Two months, then they would be final members and would be able to choose their jobs, the most appealing part about Dauntless. She wouldn't have had a choice in Erudite, Matthew either. They were ranked throughout the entire course of training, the ranks giving them the priority of available jobs. She was so grateful they did not cut anyone unless necessary as they had in the past.

She felt someone elbow her softly, "you're awfully quiet for a Candor," Daniel told her.

She smiled at him, "yeah I get that a lot."

Mac piped up "we need to teach you the Dauntless ways! I call dibs!" he winked at her, and she laughed. His features were plain, with had dark eyes and dark brown hair, but was at least 6'2 and was rather strong (like all of the other Dauntless-born).

"I'm Matthew, her cousin," Matthew piped up beside her, "this is my friend Andrew." The few Dauntless-born they were sitting next to looked at them, Daniel smiling.

"You two look like you could be siblings, think you can make it in Dauntless?"

Before Matthew could answer one of the Dauntless-born near Callie yelled out that they had arrived. Natalia stood and glanced outside, helping Andrew up. After a moment she realized there were a few people waiting on a roof ahead. A Dauntless-born got in a position that inclined that he was about to run at something. Natalia quickly realized they had to jump onto the building. She scoffed to herself; they were nuts! Thank god she wasn't afraid of heights! She looked to Matthew, knowing that he was.

They watched as the other transfers whispered to one another, realizing they had to jump as well. Two Dauntless-born jumped, and Daniel told her she should go first, and he would be right behind. She saw Callie and another Dauntless jump. She gave Matthew another knowing look.

"Don't worry Natalia; I'll push him if I have to!" Andrew told her.

She smiled and leaped to the roof, her heart jumping to her throat. She was used to the rambunctious behavior, she was from Candor, but the Dauntless took it to an entirely different level! She landed on her feet and rolled, Daniel and Mac following right afterward, landing gracefully and avoiding injury. They dusted themselves off, walking toward the Dauntless that were waiting for them.

Natalia noticed one of her knees was scraped, as well as an elbow. Daniel urged her forward toward the crowd. She turned to verify that Andrew and Matthew had followed her. Matthew looked pale and had a large scrape on his arm. She gestured them to follow her with the Dauntless-born, Matthew glaring in response. She heard him mumble to Andrew something about "the stupidity of Dauntless," as Andrew replied to the comment with a laugh.

She walked with Daniel to the front of the small crowd, noticing immediately that two of the Dauntless members had leadership tattoos, one of which was a female. Andrea, she remembered her, the only female leader Dauntless had. One of the men just happened to the one she had run into the previous morning while running.

What was his name? _Why couldn't she remember one name?_ He had his arms folded and was looking out at all of the initiates with an annoyed expression. He paused when he met her eyes; she could have sworn they narrowed before moving on, and stopping to the person behind her, Matthew, his eyes becoming colder than they had been previously.

Natalia shook her head and turned when she heard a man yell out, "looks like they all made it here in one piece this year!" she heard some of the Dauntless-born snicker.

"Quite a big group," Andrea smiled and replied to him while she looked around the crowd.

"Do I count three hippies!? Holy shit!" someone yelled out. Andrea's smile disappeared as she narrowed her eyes at the one who had yelled out.

A booming voice rang out. "Shut it! HEY! LISTEN UP!" the leader with his arms folded yelled. The crowd silenced immediately and paid him their full attention.

"My name is Eric, and I am a Dauntless leader." Yes, that was his name! He was built like a tank, she thought. He glared out at the crowd as he continued "as a leader, I will be overseeing some of your training. It won't be easy, and some of you will probably leave us before your training is up." he paused and motioned behind him. "This is your only way into Dauntless. So who wants to jump first?" he smirked.

Beside her, she saw Daniel elbow Mac, who stepped away smiling at him and shaking his head. She mentally noted that she needed to teach him how to gain someone's attention without using an elbow.

"Seriously!?" she heard Justin whisper loudly behind her.

Eric narrowed his eyes and stepped forward, "you don't jump, you get to be factionless." The crowd moved to get out of his way as he slowly stepped toward Justin.

"Fuck it! I'll go!" she looked to the voice next to that had spoken up. Daniel, of course, grinned widely at her, winking yet again. She narrowed his eyes at him, he smiled too much and needed to stop winking.

She felt a spark inside of her; she needed to one-up him. And ask him later to teach her how to wink.. Plus she knew that the Dauntless numbers dwindled since they cut initiates in the past, they wouldn't encourage them to jump off a roof if it wasn't safe. Eric stopped and turned to them.

Natalia looked at Eric, "I'm after him" she said firmly.

Eric lifted his left eyebrow, the one that was pierced, motioning toward the ledge. She noticed an impressed look on a few of the other Dauntless that were with the leaders.

"How did I not realize how crazy your cousin is before now?" she heard Andrew whisper to Matthew. She turned to smile at him and realized Matthew was still pale.

Daniel went to the edge and looked over, shrugging nonchalantly, he jumped. Natalia smiled as she heard a few gasps behind her, turning into laughs as they heard a deep voice screaming as he fell.

This was not dangerous in the slightest; she was sure of it. She turned back to Matthew and whispered, "you can do this, they wouldn't ask us to do something like this if it was too dangerous." Andrew nodded in agreement. She turned and walked the few feet toward the ledge and looked down, seeing nothing.

 _William would have gone first._

After a moment, Eric snapped at her. "Candor if you aren't going to jump move over so someone Dauntless can." She glared at him, taking the last step to the ledge.

The competitive spark returning, "Oh trust me," she drawled, "I'm Dauntless." She saw his eyes darken before turning her head back toward the large hole.

She jumped whole-heartedly into the abyss. Fear and adrenaline ripped through her veins as she held in a scream. She gasped after a few seconds when she hit softness, laughing she realized it was a net. Had she just snapped at a leader? She was never disrespectful to the leaders of Erudite or Candor, shit! She was sure he remembered her snapping at him after her run; it had been dark, but she knew he recognized her. Matthew was going to give her a lecture about this; she was sure of it.

She rolled toward the side of the net to find a man with brown hair and dark blue eyes, and a scar on his chin, helps her down, "what's your name?" She glanced behind him at Daniel who yelled, "atta' girl Natalia!"

She looked back at the man and nodded to confirm her name was Natalia.

"Second jumper, Natalia!" the crowd of Dauntless yelled. _These people were crazy_ she thought while smiling. She walked over to Daniel, finding him next to a man who was only a few years older that has similar features to him. Daniel introduced him as older brother Tristan, who explained that he usually worked at the gates near the Amity sector but had the week off.

They cheered for each jumper as they came down the hole. The third jumper ended up being Justin, followed by Callie and an Amity boy she didn't know. They all walked over to them and started chatting and introducing themselves to one other. Another Dauntless man walked up behind her, invading her space and frightening her. Natalia jumped then laughed at herself, he raised his eyebrows and smiled at her.

"Hello gorgeous," he drawled looking her up and down.

She rolled her eyes as the group around her laughed, "c'mon Scotty she just got here!"Callie scolded him.

Tristan introduced him as his "best friend, the horn-ball," gaining another laugh from the group. She was used to men being attracted to her and telling her they were. This was different, though, rather than just telling her as the Candor did they were flirtatious. That might have something to do with the fact that she told just about every Candor guy not to bother, other than Nolan but that had been different since they were friends.

Mac followed as the sixth jumper, screaming like Daniel, but high pitched. The scream earned him a roar of laughter from the crowd, as he got off a few people teased him and he laughed along with them running to Daniel and jumping on his back.

"That was so awesome! We're finally here dude!" he screamed in his ear as Daniel shoved him off and told them they had only left for a few hours. They talked as they waited for the others to jump, Tristan explaining to her and the other transfers standing near that the man who helped her off the net was named Four. He was a transfer instructor along with a guy named Uriah, Lauren, and Stephen were the Dauntless instructors.

Next came Andrew, who had fallen quietly. He calmly walked over to Natalia. And whispered to her, "he's so frightened, I told him I'd murder him if he didn't jump." She felt herself get nervous as another person fell into the net.

"How Dauntless of you Andrew," she replied, nodding, "he will jump."

Andrew put his arm around her, "you don't sound so sure of that," he said to her, continuing to whisper to her. "Did he come here for you? Be honest with me."

She shook her head, about to reply until she was interrupted by a voice from the group, boy did Dauntless love doing that.

"Why are all the hot ones taken!?" the group laughed.

They turned to see that it had been Scotty who had spoken up. Daniel smiled at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, no, it's not like that we are just friends," she replied as Andrew removed his arm, she could have sworn he rolled his eyes. Another scream echoed through the room, and they turned to see that it had been Matthew.

"Matthew!" she heard him yell to Four, "my name is Matthew! Damn it move! I hate heights!"

Laughter echoed in the large room, once he was off of the net he stormed toward his friends."I am never doing that again! What if that net broke? Don't laugh at me Natalia I could have died!" he hollered and pulled Natalia into a laughed at him and told him not to be such a baby. "It isn't funny Natalia!" he told her. She ignored him and introduced him to the group as another jumper fell, which ended up not being an initiate, but Andrea.

The crowd dispersed a bit, and Natalia realized that Andrea jumping probably meant everyone had jumped. She turned to see a faded purple door open at the side of the room. Stairs she thought, as Eric and the other Dauntless walked out of it. Scott and Tristan waved them goodbye and followed the retreating Dauntless members.

Natalia glanced around at the initiates who had quieted. There were five other Candor transfers, two girls, and three boys; all of which she knew but never bothered to be on a personal level with. That wasn't saying much though since all of them could tell their life stories in a matter of minutes. Six were from Erudite; she knew one of them was named Elizabeth because Matthew always complained about her being an "insufferable moron." She, of course, knew Matthew and Andrew but didn't know who the others were. Three Amity and no Abnegation. Fifteen transfers and seventeen Dauntless-born; a rather high number for Dauntless initiates.

Eric and Andrea walked toward the crowd of initiates and met up with the few people who were most likely their instructors. She heard Andrea tell another girl, who must be Lauren, that one of the Candor-borns had a meltdown and chose to be factionless rather than jump. Natalia gulped, why wouldn't she just jump? Even Matthew had jumped and he hated heights.

Eric spoke loudly to the two girls, "Dauntless follow orders. She didn't want to jump, she doesn't deserve to be in our faction."

The initiates remained silent. Eric turned to them as another man spoke up, Four who introduced himself loudly, receiving snickers from the Candor and Erudite-born.

The trainers began to explain what the initiates would need to expect from their training, as well as the Dauntless-born would be trained separately for the first two weeks so the transfers had a chance to get into shape. They also explained that since there was such a small group they would be together otherwise. The large group followed them down the hallways, being shown the main areas of the compound. The Dauntless-born remained rowdy as they already knew their way around, but the rest of the group listening intently.


	7. Chapter 7 (Eric's POV)

"Are you prepared to help out the trainers this year?" Max asked Eric as they walked toward the Choosing Day ceremony. "We are estimating to have at least fifteen Dauntless-Born staying, so hopefully the initiation class will be a decent size." Max continued.

Eric yawned as he drank from his coffee mug, "hopefully they will be worth my time," he replied to the leader he viewed as his mentor.

Max smirked, "working with the initiates is good for you. I expect you to be able to take my place one day Eric, you need to learn to work with everyone patiently while still getting the jobs we need to be done, accomplished."

Eric rolled his eyes but listened respectfully. He was glad that Max gave him a second chance, and that he thought highly of him, but he had heard this speech multiple times, and it always ended in the same way. With Max telling him he could be authoritative without scaring the living shit out of every person he meets, as well as that he needed to practice more patience.

"One of them will end up being your assistant, your _last_ one by the way," Max told him.

Eric scoffed, "you act like it is my fault that everyone of the one's that has been assigned to be my assistant is stupid!"

Max laughed at him and put his hand on his shoulder as they arrived at the entrance to The Hub, "You forget that you are in Dauntless Eric, not Erudite! Five! You have had FIVE assistants!"

Eric frowned as he drank his last sip of coffee, glancing around at the crowd of people. "I just don't want to work with a fucking idiot the entire time. What are you going to do without Tina by the way?" Eric asked him. Tina had been his assistant for three years, she was efficient and relatively smart for being a Candor transfer, but she was pregnant with twins and due in a few months.

Max sighed, "I don't know yet, but I am sure we will figure it out! Hopefully, she doesn't want too much time off, Dauntless may fall apart without her to keep me in check!" he joked as he urged Eric into the large hall.

Eric had attended the choosing ceremony every year since his own but was still mesmerized seeing the separate faction sections sitting in groups. The grays of the Abnegation, silent and sullen looking as they sat and waited patiently for the ceremony to begin. The bright reds and yellows of the Amity, smiling and laughing among one another cheerfully. He used to hate Amity but had begun to accept them since he was the leader who worked directly with them.

He frowned as he glanced at the section that was covered in shades of blue, the Erudite, speaking in low voices politely and professionally. Looking at them gave him a bitter taste in his mouth, which was made worse as he noticed Jeanine standing with her fellow leaders and her son Matthew. Eric noted that he looked nervous and that he had changed significantly in the years he hadn't seen him. He would probably be handed a position in leadership, yet again Eric found himself hoping he would not be like his mother. He looked away as he saw his older brother Richard walk up to speak to the group of leaders.

He walked with Max toward the rowdy Dauntless section as Max conversed with others in his faction, none of them bothering to do more than nod in acknowledgment to him. He glanced over the black and white Candor section, as loud as Dauntless but mostly due to arguments and protests from their oh-so-honest members. He skimmed the crowd in search for the girl with blonde hair and bright blue eyes, knowing that he would see her. He didn't find her as he followed Max to their seats, only one row of the ones reserved for initiates next to his fellow leaders, Chris with his son Thomas who was to choose today as well, Jackson, and Andrea.

He finally found who he had been looking for, the blonde staring blankly toward the stage, sitting next to Calvin Stephenson, the Candor leader that had been speaking to Jeanine the day prior when he had seen her. He could see her bright blue eyes from where he was, and her shiny blond hair was thrown into a long ponytail, by the looks of it the length reached to her waist. She reminded him too much of Jeanine but was rather attractive. He sat in his seat and looked toward the stage as well, noting that Johanna was speaking to two of her fellow Amity members before walking toward the center of the stage.

Amity was in charge of the ceremony this year, so Eric knew the speech would be interesting. He had gotten to know Johanna quite well since being assigned to work with Amity; each of the Dauntless leaders took responsibility for one faction's security.

Chris worked with Candor, Jackson with Abnegation, Andrea with Erudite (she had worked with Amity before her and Eric had switched years ago), and Max overseeing them all and Dauntless. Eric hated working with Amity at first but had gotten used to it. It helped that Johanna was not only a kind and patient person, but that she was intelligent as well.

" In recent years, we have come to known of those who test for multiple factions. It is not an easy choice for those, but regardless of our results we have to make decisions we are not prepared for. That is life. As most of your know, the age of initiation was raised to eighteen many years ago, but I was sixteen when we took our tests. I transferred to Amity from Erudite. It was one of the hardest choices I have ever had to make, to leave my family and friends, to choose a life of peace over a life of knowledge. The life I had grown up around, the mentality I knew so well, I left behind. I do not regret my choice in the slightest. As a child, I studied as much as a normal Erudite would, but always felt as if something was missing from my life."

That was another reason he had learned to deal with Amity; Johanna was similar to him. She had been in Erudite trying to live up to their high expectations but had felt something was missing as if it was never enough. Unlike him though she hadn't chosen a path of self-destruction and let an Erudite leader manipulate her into doing her dirty work.

"In my studies, I once came across a novel. A diary, from the world before the wars and terror that led to our faction system. A quote from this diary stuck with me, "the final forming of a person's character lies in their hands." I want you to remember this quote, as I always have. I say this to you with the deepest kindness in my heart that you must trust your aptitude test, but you must always trust yourself. This is one of the most important decisions you will make in your lifetime. My hopes for you all is that you follow who you truly are and that you may find happiness and joy in your decision. May peace be with you all."

Applause rang throughout the hall, mostly from the Amity, Dauntless, and Candor sections. Eric knew that the diary was that of a young woman named Anne Frank. He had read it in his studies, but it hadn't peaked his interest, so he hadn't studied it as thoroughly as other books. Perhaps he should try to get a copy of it to read again.

That was another thing he loved about his faction; he had freedom. He was able to obtain knowledge behind closed doors without the scrutiny or expectations of anyone. He had collected four large bookshelves in his apartment in the previous few years, as well as stacks in his bedroom.

Johanna began to call the names for choosing in alphabetical order. He counted as each one went, cheering loudly when a Dauntless-born chose to stay in their faction, following him was a transfer from Candor. The next name called Eric recognized as the boy he had seen with the blonde girl the previous day. He wondered if she was his boyfriend, he shook off the thought as the boy transferred to Amity. Eric watched as each name was called, there were more than five transfers from both Amity and Candor, only two from Erudite, one from Dauntless, and none from Abnegation so far.

Eric heard Johanna call Matthew, Jeanine's son to the stage. Matthew quickly cut his hand and held it over the coals, transferring to Dauntless.

Eric was shocked, Max was as well and whispered to him "Jeanine is going to be livid. Her son and her niece were supposed to begin training as Erudite leaders immediately."

Eric nodded in agreement and glanced back at where Jeanine's niece was sitting, her blue eyes still staring at the stage as she sat straight. He noticed that her father was as tense as her, obviously not expecting his nephew to transfer to Dauntless either.

Eric watched the rest of the ceremony and skimmed the Dauntless initiates who had already chosen and were sitting below him. He recognized Chris's son Thomas, as well as the two troublemakers names Daniel and Mac; two girls named Tiffany and Kylie, who were speaking to another girl with dark features, an Erudite girl who had a pouty face, a Candor boy, and a tall Amity boy.

"Natalia Jean Stephenson!"

Eric glanced toward the Candor section to see the blonde girl rise, passing her father. He noticed that he avoided her gaze and was still as tense as he had been when Eric had looked at them before. Natalia, that was her name. She did the same thing as her cousin had, cutting her hand and quickly holding it above the coals.

Dauntless roared as she walked briskly to her new seat.

Eric looked at Max, holding a shocked face that was a rare thing to see.

Andrea whispered over Jackson to the two of them, "three of our initiates are faction leader's children. The other factions won't be happy about that."

The five Dauntless leaders nodded in agreement.


	8. Chapter 8 (Erics POV)

**Sorry if the POV's haven't been clear, I will post them at the top of each chapter so that they are! Sorry for not updating sooner, I have been busy this week! **

..

Erics POV

Eric watched as the train neared the large building, readying himself for the initiates arrival. The few Dauntless members around him were talking amongst one another. He heard the three men to his left discussing the seventeen Dauntless-Born, who had opted to stay, two of them being unexpected, and Andrea and a supervisor names Dan talking about the gate security near Erudite, two others listening to them and a female named Shantelle walking toward the end of the building.

As the train came closer, he saw the small silhouettes of a few of the initiates prepping themselves for the jump onto the building. He secretly hoped they all made the leap, as he would be the one to order one of the supervisors standing on the roof with him to clean up the mess if they didn't. No one wanted that job, and no one wanted to see an eighteen-year-old kid fall to their death.

He cringed as his mind leaped to that of Jeanine testing on the Divergent all those years ago. He had done terrible things for her. He hadn't murdered anyone, but he had assisted in a couple. If he were to take a truth serum and were asked the question all Candor were asked, he would say that was it. Letting his need for control and his strive to be the best in the eyes of his old leader outweigh any morals he may have had. He knew he could never make up for it, only learn from the many mistakes he had made. It hadn't helped that he had been raised to be that way, he had never known what a good man was until he met Max and Chris.

He watched the first of the initiates leap onto the roof, the Dauntless-Born cheering and whooping as they landed. An Amity transfer was laughing along with a few of them as he dusted himself off. He saw Thomas jump with Natalia shortly after, followed by the Dauntless-born Mac, Daniel, and Dauntless-born he knew was named Rebecca. Shortly after the Erudite boy that had transferred to Dauntless last followed with Matthew taking the leap at the same time.

Eric gazed over the other initiates, making mental notes of which ones were weaker than the others. He noticed that the two troublemakers Daniel and Mac were leading the initiates toward them, good, Daniel turning to speak to Natalia as they walked. Eric watched her as she stopped and glanced back to her cousin and his friend. He kept his arms folded as the large group walked toward him.

He counted the initiates quickly, thirty-three total. He hadn't realized it was such a large group back at the Hub, as he had been too focused on the fact that three of the initiates this year were leader's children. Eric hadn't thought it was that big of a deal, but Max explained to him that the factions still didn't fully trust Erudite or Dauntless, even though Dauntless had proven they wanted nothing to do with Erudites experiments.

Max had used Thomas as an example that children of leaders often received extra attention and knew more thank others for their factions. If Thomas ranked well, he was to be trained to take charge of the entire security system on the wall farthest away from the Dauntless sectors. The fact that Jeanine's child, as well as her niece transferring together, was an even bigger deal to the other factions, especially since they had high expectations for Erudite.

Eric continued skimming over the initiates, pausing when he caught the eyes of Natalia. He moved on quickly to Matthew standing behind her; he narrowed his eyes. He hoped neither of them was like Jeanine. He heard Dan yell out, "looks like they all made it here in one piece this year!"

Andrea replied to him, "quite a big group."

Eric almost laughed when another Dauntless yelled out, "Do I could see three hippies? Holy shit!"

He held the smirk off his face knowing that Andrea wouldn't be happy about the comment. Being from Amity she still got offended when people spoke ill of her old faction, as she was proof even "hippies" could make it in Dauntless.

"Shut it! HEY!" Eric yelled to the crowd, "LISTEN UP!"

They silenced immediately. Of course, they did, he knew he was intimidating, he had to be.

"My name is Eric, and I am a Dauntless leader," he paused for effect, seeing a few eyes narrow in hearing he was a leader. He was far too used to the reaction he received every year because of his age; that was why he put most of his effort into intimidating them. They wouldn't respect him if he acted otherwise. "As a leader, I will be overseeing some of your training. It won't be easy, and some of you will probably leave us before your training is up," he paused again and motioned behind him, secretly hoping that they all were strong enough to make it. Dauntless needed soldiers and had stopped cutting people, but they couldn't compromise. Those low on the list would be given unfavorable job assignments.

"This is your only way into Dauntless, so who wants to jump first?" he explained and motioned behind him. He couldn't contain a smirk as he watched some of their faces in horror.

This was one of the only good parts of training initiates, watching their fears. He enjoyed deciphering each fear and figuring out the phobia's name. He had every fear he had come across memorized. The best part was at the end, watching them overcome each of these fears in one way or another. He would never admit that to anyone but Max and Chris though.

The reactions were mixed as a few seconds passed, Dauntless-born elbowing one another and looks of horror on some of the Erudite and Amity transfers. Usually a Candor would have spoken up by now, "seriously?"

There we go, Eric stepped toward the boy dressed in black and white, his eyes widening but he stood straighter. Eric continued to smirk, "You don't jump, you get to be factionless!"

He took another step toward him, slightly turning his head to the side and folded his arms again.

"Fuck it! I'll go!"

Eric's and every other head turned toward the voice; Daniel. It usually ended up being a Dauntless-born jumping first, but every once in awhile it would be a transfer. Daniel turned to Natalia with a wide grin.

Eric watched him as he winked at her, of course, the Dauntless-born would be the first to jump on a transfer female. Boys his age thought with nothing but what was in their pants and the chance at attractive fresh meat would be unbearable.

Eric found it interesting that instead of swooning, as most girls in Dauntless did when it came to the most popular boys, narrowed her eyes at him. Eric turned his full body toward them, wishing for some reason that he could read her mind.

Natalia looked him dead in the eye, "I'm after him."

Eric kept his arms folded as Daniel walked toward the ledge and looked over it. Eric found himself curious again about what might be going on in her head; her reaction was Dauntless, competitive. She was attractive, but not his type.

She looked too much like Jeanine.

Eric continued to watch Natalia as Daniel jumped over the edge, letting his eyes wander to judge the crowds reaction as they jumped then fixing his gaze back on the blonde girl who was smiling. She turned and whispered to her brother, then turned and walked to the ledge.

Eric watched as she looked over the edge, after a moment he spoke up, "Candor if you aren't going to jump move over so someone Dauntless can."

The sentence had come out cruel, yet instead of looking intimidated as most initiates, and even most of the Dauntless would have, she glared at him and took another step toward the ledge.

"Oh trust me," she said confidently "I'm Dauntless."

Eric felt his anger spark at the thought of an initiate talking back to him, especially in from of the other initiates, he watched the girl leap over the edge without looking back.

He turned back to the initiates quickly, "who is next?" he snapped.

A small group inched toward the front, mostly Dauntless but an Amity stepping up first.

"I will go," the boy said and walked to the edge.

Eric glared at him as he watched him gulp, he glanced at Andrea, who was smirking admirably at the boy. He wondered what place she had jumped during her initiation.

The group began to jump one after another quickly, the Erudite boy with Matthew whispering to him quickly. When he went to jump, he glanced back at Matthew and gave him a knowing look, then turned to fall. After he had gone the remaining group jumped one after another hesitantly.

Eric glared at Matthew, "you think that just because your mother is a leader you won't have to jump with the rest of them?"

Matthew looked up at him, eyes widening he began to reply, "no, no of course not. I suffer from acrophobia is all.."

Eric saw him clench his jaw as his face remained pale.

Eric smirked cruelly and walked up to him, only inches from his face he replied coldly, "guess you'll get to overcome your fears quicker than most initiates, jump." Eric waited for him to move, "now initiate! Or you can be factionless."

Matthew remained frozen.

Eric turned back toward the few others that were left, "I suppose Jeanine's little angel should have stayed in Erudite." he paused as he looked over the edge and turned back to face him, arms folded again. "Don't worry; I'll let your little cousin know you realized that you made a mistake."

As if coming out of a trance Matthew unfroze and walked toward the ledge, without hesitating he thew himself over the edge, screaming as he went.

Eric found himself shocked but he shook it off, turning to a Candor girl who was shaking and had backed away from the group. The rest of the Dauntless members had begun to descend the stairway on the side of the roof, apparently assuming the girl wouldn't be jumping.

Eric hoped in the back of his mind that she would jump, but knew that it would be a waste of time to force her. If she wasn't brave enough to do so, she didn't need to be protecting alongside those who were Dauntless. The roof was empty except for him and Andrea, the group probably waiting for them at the bottom of the stairwell.

"Are you going to jump Candor? I'm not pushing you, so decide quickly," he snapped at her. She began to cry.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he walked toward her. "Dauntless don't cry initiate! Jump, now!" he yelled at her and pointed toward the stairs. "Listen here little Candor, if you don't jump off this fucking roof right now, you will be factionless. _FACTIONLESS_. You won't belong anywhere, is that what you want?"

The girl said nothing as she cried harder and lowered herself to the ground.

Andrea piped up from behind him, "Eric lets go; there is nothing we can do."

Eric paused while glaring at the girl, he shook his head and turned back and walked past Andrea. Had the roof still been full he wouldn't have bothered trying to convince her? He briskly swung the door open and walked down the stairs, walking past his fellow members without bothering to acknowledge them.


	9. Chapter 9 (Natalia's POV)

**Keep in mind the French translation probably isn't great; I used Google Translate.**

Natalia's POV

When they neared what Four called the chasm, Natalia was still near the front with her friends and cousin. The water smelt fresh, but the drop looked deadly. He explained that people have jumped, and it was beyond dangerous. She thought anyone would be stupid to believe that they could survive the jump, realizing that they had obviously done it on purpose.

She felt herself pale at the thought of jumping and Matthew pulled her away from the railing. She mentally scolded herself for the dumb thought and her heart pinched in pain.

The thought of anyone committing suicide made her sick. How could it not, though?

As they followed the trainers Daniel and Mac joked quietly with the Amity boy that had jumped fifth, she had missed his name. As they continued down a narrower hallway he tripped bumped into her, forcing her into Elizabeth, who had been walking behind them. He began apologizing immediately asking if she was alright. She smiled at him and nodded, he reminded her of Nolan except he was tall with black hair and tanned skin, with deep brown eyes. He smiled back, raising his hand, beginning to introduce himself

"I'm Jacob..." He was interrupted by an obnoxious female voice "watch where you're going hippie!"

Natalia was taken aback, though she shouldn't have been after a life in Candor. A Candor would not have scolded someone for making a mistake, especially if they apologized for turned to see that it was Elizabeth who had spoken. Natalia immediately felt a surge of annoyance course through her veins. She thought that she looked like a spoiled bitch, the fact that Matthew hated her definitely didn't help with Natalia's quick judgment of the girl.

Natalia glared at Elizabeth, feeling her inner Candor side rise to the occasion, she snapped and stepped toward her "he said it was an accident"

Elizabeth flinched, but folded her arms. Pretending that Natalia hadn't seen the flinch, she returned the glare. "I don't care he should watch where he's going," she replied sourly, looking Natalia up and down.

"Natalia. she is not worth the argument." Matthew told her.

She ignored him, "Oh please, like anyone wants to touch you intentionally," Natalia retorted, her Candor side coming out, she began walking away. An "oooh" came from Mac behind her, along with a few snickers from the crowd of initiates that had stopped to watch the altercation.

Elizabeth laughed, oblivious to the fact that Natalia knew body language so well that she could tell she wasn't comfortable with confrontation, "yeah right, the hippy probably did it on purpose to..."

Natalia felt her jaw clench again, her anger searing rapidly as she took another step toward her, interrupting her mid-sentence, much like a Dauntless or Candor would. She understood SO WELL why many Erudite hated this girl so much.

"I'm from Candor, I can read body language, and I can assure you that he didn't.." Natalia began to reply but was interrupted by someone walking through the crowd of initiates.

"Are you joking me? You've been here five god-damned minutes, and you are already bickering with each other? Great! Just fucking great!" Natalia turned to see that it was one of the female trainers, Lauren, speaking to them.

Lauren looked to Mac and asked him what happened.

"I don't know; I was just hoping they'd start wrestling!" Mac replied jokingly, his eyes wide, gathering a laugh from the crowd.

Lauren glared at him, "you aren't funny Mac."

Natalia hid her amusement behind her hand; she could tell Mac was known for his light mood. She felt her anger begin to calm until she looked back at Elizabeth's face.

She heard Lauren mutter under her breath and glared at another trainer who was laughing with the crowd, Uriah. He coughed, then told them to move along and gestured them forward. Natalia glared at Elizabeth as she followed her friends, Daniel walking behind her.

"Bitch."

Natalia quickly turned around, ready to show her how truly bitchy she could be.

"OOMPH." To her dismay, she ran into Daniel, who began pushing her toward the direction she had been going.

"Listen to him; she's not worth your time," he told her. She heard Mac pipe up that she would get the chance to shut her up in training.

She noticed that Andrea was ahead of the group, she was smirking and glancing behind her as she whispered to the two Dauntless men she was with. As they stopped she nodded to Natalia, who overheard her tell the trainers that they would see them later on, walking down a side-hallway. Eric and two other men following shortly after.

They began walking again and continued until reaching the end of a long hallway, finding a huge room with at least thirty bunk beds. Natalia walked to one of the beds place in the corner as the group filed in.

"Who's room is this?" a girl asked. Natalia had already guessed it was meant for them to share, a fact she hadn't known about the Dauntless training.

"All of yours" she heard Four reply to them humorously.

She heard Mac tell Callie "hell yes" who punched him in the arm. A chuckle rang through the room.

The trainers announced that curfew was at ten that evening, explained a few rules, and left them on their own. The group dispersed to choose beds and look at the shared bathroom. Natalia chose the bed in the corner she was standing at.

"I'm bunking above you, Natalia!" Mac yelled at her. Matthew looked at him and took off his blue jacket, setting it on Natalia's top bunk.

"Orrrrr noooottttt," Mac said and jumped on the one above the bed Daniel was sitting on. Andrew chose the bottom bunk next to her, with Justin choosing the bunk above him. The Dauntless clothing for transfers was laid out on a table near the entrance to the shared bathroom.

Natalia grabbed tight black jeans with a dark gray long-sleeved shit, and some black socks with small black boots. She watched the other female transfers walked to the bathroom to use the shower stalls to change, the boys and a Candor girl named Abby is not bothering to cover up. Natalia didn't quite care about covering up, so long as no one made comments or went near her. Even the comments she could ignore easily. She figured the rest of them would get used to the small space as well.

..

..

..

"You two seem quiet for Candor you know," Callie observed, speaking to her and Justin as they all sat on their beds. "Usually, you all don't shut up!"

Natalia laughed, "there's a reason I'm not in Candor anymore," she replied as Justin agreed in nodding his head. "I don't want everyone knowing every single thing that is on my mind," she continued.

They all looked over as they heard a crash, Mac had hit his foot getting off his bunk, "mother fucker! Screw this! Daniel give me the bottom bunk!" Daniel stood up and told him no, and they began fighting playfully next to their bed.

Natalia realized that it was probably common since only the transfers were watching them.

"Je me Suis fait une terrible erreur ( _I've made a terrible mistake_ )!" Matthew drawled to Natalia.

She couldn't help but laugh, "cesser d'être dramatique, vous avez une aptitude pour cette ( _stop being dramatic, you have an aptitude for this_ ),' she replied to him, taking longer to think of the entire sentence. She was fluent in French, but still struggled. She had only been learning for two years, whereas her cousin had been learning for most of his life.

Matthew smiled, he usually helped her when she struggled.

Since Andrew couldn't even understand them, she ignored them when they spoke French to one another. Everyone else looked at them strangely. Only the best of Erudite were taught secondary languages; they had to test well enough in certain subjects to have the opportunity. Natalia had been lucky to test well enough, and being in Candor, so it was rare for her to have been given the chance.

"You know another language?" Daniel walked over to her and raised his arms to lean against their bunk bed. "Not going to lie, that's hot," he smiled at her, "say something again?"

"Yes dauntless sont assez coquette ( _these dauntless are quite flirtatious_ )!" Matthew told her,

Natalia ignored Daniel and looked to Matthew again, "Oui, mais il est plutôt mignon vous ne pensez pas _(yes, but he's rather cute, don't you think)_?" She smirked at him and replied.

Matthew responded to her with a scoff as he rolled his eyes.

Daniel's smile grew, "what are you two saying?"

Natalia stood from her new bed and stood next to him. She folded her arms and glanced him up and down, "Il ne semble pas mon type, fait-il? ( _he doesn't seem like my type, does he?_ )" she said looking at Daniel, but speaking to Matthew.

Matthew scoffed again, "Pas comme ça va vous arrêter _(not like that will stop you)_ ," he replied.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, picked up her pillow and hitting him with it.

Matthew began laughing, "I'm only joking!" he told her as she stopped. "Well, sort of," he said again smiling.

Natalia threw her pillow at him again.

"I'm hungry!" Mac yelled from across the room. Daniel agreed and offered to show them where the cafeteria was.

Natalia nodded in response as Andrew spoke up, "I hope the food is good.."


	10. Chapter 10 (Eric's POV)

**sorry for the SHORT SHORT chapter! I'll make up for it!**

Erics POV

Eric and Andrea walked toward the crowd of initiates and the trainers that were waiting for them. He nodded to Lauren, then to Uriah, and glared at Four. Fucking Four fears. Needed a fucking nickname to show it off. Eric loathed him. Four had tried to convince Max that he would never change, and Max wanted to make him a leader.

Eric scoffed in his head. A stiff, a fucking Dauntless leader? Almost as funny as Max mentioning that his girlfriend, another stiff, Tris, would be a good leader as well. He knew it was in large part to them both being leader's children.

Seemed to be a hot commodity among Dauntless, transfers that were leader's children.

Andrea told Lauren that the Candor-born girl had broken down on the roof, choosing to be factionless.

Eric spoke to the two girls, his voice loud and echoed in the large room "Dauntless follow orders. She didn't want to jump; she doesn't deserve to be in our faction."

Eric turned to the eerily quiet group of initiates as Four spoke up, receiving a few snickers. Good, it was a fucking stupid name. He looked over the initiates as the trainers spoke to them, walking down the cavernous hallways and toward the Chasm.

As he skimmed over the group, he heard Four explain to the group that they would be training together, the initiates acting up but the Dauntless-born rowdy. Eric glared at them but they only slightly quieted. He decided it would be a fight best saved for training, let them have a good first day in Dauntless.

Eric walked next to Andrea toward the dorm rooms toward the front of the large group. "What do you think of this group so far?" she asked him quietly.

"Hmmph," he replied to her.

She narrowed her eyes at him, "We're friends you don't have to.." she paused as she turned to watch the commotion behind them.

From the front of the group it was hard to see what was happening, but it seemed that some of the initiates were arguing. Eric's curiosity peaked upon realizing that it was an Erudite girl and Natalia.

"Come on, come on, move along!" they heard Uriah tell the initiates.

Eric turned back to Andrea who was smirking toward the initiates. Andrea nodded toward one of them and asked Eric "I think this year will be interesting, don't you?" she asked him.

He shook his head and rolled his eyes dramatically.

Lauren walked past them and gave Andrea a sarcastic smile. Andrea told her fellow members that she had a few things to do before the leader's meeting and went on her way, Eric walked the other direction toward where his apartment was located, hoping to shower before heading to lunch.


	11. Chapter 11 (Natalia's POV)

** Told you I'd make up for it with a longer chapter! Please let me know what you think!**

Natalia's POV

The cafeteria was loud and chaotic, but only there were only a few tables full. It seemed that the small groups spoke louder to compensate for the lack of crowds, she would only imagine how it would be for other meal times when the faction wasn't working.

Natalia smiled as she looked around. The people she saw were covered in tattoos and piercings, dressed in dark grays, dark reds, and blacks. Daniel and Mac had shown them a few of the main hallways that would take them to and from the training rooms and cafeteria.

Natalia hadn't eaten breakfast that morning, so she was excited to have a decent meal. They sat down and she started digging in. She put a little bit of everything she saw on her plate. She normally was the one who made food for herself in Candor and had limited options; she wasn't a great cook. The past few months she had eaten with Matthew half of the time, he was a good cook, and his mother rarely was around, so he preferred to eat with her.

"Finally!" Callie said as she sat down with a girl Natalia didn't recognize, "someone who eats just as much as I do!" Natalia had her mouth full of green beans as she realized that Callie was talking about her.

She attempted to smile and replied "I haven't had this much delicious food at once in a very long time!" but it sounded more like "I hrvnt hdths mch ferd in lvry urngtin."

Matthew spoke up, after him and Andrew had only been conversing by themselves as they had made their way to the cafeteria, "she always eats like that, it drove my mother insane."

The girl sitting with Callie laughed in a strange high-pitched way, causing the others to roar with laughter. Natalia glanced at the other tables while she ate, realizing that most of the transfers sat in groups together.

Her, Jacob, and Justin, Matthew, and Andrew were the only transfers that were sitting with Dauntless born. She noticed that a table in the corner of the large room sat Andrea, Eric, and a few others that Natalia didn't recognize.

She assumed they were authority figures as well, she wondered if Matthew knew and would have to ask him later on. Max was standing leaned over between where Eric and another man. She wondered what they were discussing but paid back attention to the conversation at her table.

Jacob, a Dauntless named Ashton, and Justin were arguing. Jacob had told them that being kind was more important than honesty. Justin disagreed and said that it was a stupid notion, and he was in the wrong faction if he believed it. Natalia had spent too much time with Nolan to disagree with Jacob's opinion entirely, she believed in white lies if it was for an excellent reason, but another side of her felt that bluntness was the way to go in most situations.

"Natalia, back me up here!" Justin said to her, "being kind is not more important than honesty!"

Natalia sighed, "it depends on the situation. I don't think lying is a bad thing if it is for the right reasons."

Jacob smiled, "see!"

Andrew began laughing quietly, as she and Matthew had discussed this topic many times and he agreed with her, mostly.

Justin scowled at her, "I should have known not to rely on you in an argument. You spent more time with your little Erudite friends and hi.."

She interrupted him, "It doesn't fucking matter who I spent more time with," she realized she had raised her voice a bit and caught the attention of a few surrounding tables.

Andrew spoke up, "why did either of you choose to come here if you value those qualities so highly?" he asked them.

Jacob answered her first, "I believe that kindness is important, but I believe that bravery is more important. I want to protect people and be kind to them," he stated.

Justin scoffed again, "and I choose the faction that the test told me to choose. I value honesty, but my results were Dauntless," he explained, "it would be dishonest to choose Candor when it is something I'm not!" he paused and narrowed his eyes at her. "Plus the only reason you are taking the hippy's side is because of that little Amity boyfriend of yours!" he exclaimed.

The entire table let out an "oooooh," as well as a few laughs.

"That is not.." she started to explain but was interrupted.

"Oh. My. God. You dated an Amity!?" Callie asked her loudly and nudged the girl beside her, "guess we know her type" she winked, and Natalia rolled her eyes.

Matthew smirked at Natalia, and she gave him a nasty look. Andrew looked annoyed with the conversations turn.

"I transferred from Amity," the entire turned to see Andrea standing at the edge of the table.

Everyone was silent for a moment until Jacob piped up, "Did you know my older brother? Jackson Montague? He may be around your age, not that I'm pointing out your age, like cause you aren't old, or anything, I just mean.. Well, you might know him?"

Andrea smiled at him, "yes he was a year ahead of me. He married Isabella Constance and has a son now if I'm not mistaken?"

Jacob lit up, "yes, Ethan. He turns six in a few months. It was hard to tell him I would be transferring."

Andrea continued smiling at him, "I'm sure he will understand someday. We should continue this conversation later on; I agree with your opinion that it is important to remain kind while in Dauntless, but only if it does not get in the way of protecting someone," she told him. "Natalia and Matthew, can I steal you two for a bit?" she turned to face her.

Natalia jumped up, she felt her heart jump into her throat but acted as if she were relieved.

"Anything to get away from them!" Matthew joked as he stood from the table.

Exclamations of disagreement roared through the table as Andrea continued smiling at them all. Natalia told them she would find them later and followed her out of the cafeteria, noticing that most of the table the leaders had been sitting at had dispersed without her noticing.

As they walked Andrea pointed a few things out to them, explaining where she could find the tattoo parlor and a few small shops, as well as various other parts of the faction. Daniel had already explained most of them, but Natalia barely remembered them so she listening intently.

They followed Andrea through the cavernous hallways and up two stairwells.

"Andrea, do you mind telling us where you are taking us?" Matthew asked politely.

"To Max's office, he wanted to speak to you both before your training tomorrow."

Natalia glanced at Matthew and gave him a knowing look. This had to be about their parents, probably some dumb speech about not being favored because they were leader's children.

"Ce sera intéressant (this will be interesting)," Matthew whispered to her.

..

..

"This is where the leadership offices are, this smaller one here is mine" Andrea pointed to the first one on the left. "Each leader has an assistant, so the offices have two or three rooms each," she explained. She continued down the hall; Natalia refrained from asking questions since she felt her nerves rise as they were close to Max's office.

Andrea opened a door toward the end of the hall and led her into a large room with three connecting doors. "Tina! How are you today?" Andrea asked pretty women who stood up as they walked in.

Natalia glanced at her stomach; she had to be at least five months pregnant.

"Oh you know, swollen feet, incredibly annoying cravings, everyone is annoying as shit," Tina replied to her. Andrea introduced them and explained that Tina was Max's assistant.

Tina smiled at Matthew, obviously recognizing him. She narrowed her eyes at Natalia, "is your last name Stephenson?" she asked.

Natalia hid her scowl and nodded, Tina had a look of recognition on her face but said nothing, "Welcome to Dauntless!" she said exuberantly. Tina must have been a Candor transfer as well. "Don't bother knocking, they're waiting for you inside," she told Andrea.

Natalia's curiosity peaked at hearing "they" were waiting, as she had assumed they would be speaking to only Max. Andrea led her into one of the doors in the large room that led to what was Max's large office. They had meant an annoyed looking Eric who was leaning against the window, a man she recognized but didn't know sitting in a chair in the corner near Eric, and Four who was seated in a chair across from Max at his desk.

"Tris is waiting for me; we have some things to do before dinner. I will update you tomorrow after the first part of training," Four told to Max and stood up. He walked toward to door and nodded to Natalia, "you two should get a good nights rest tonight, don't let the Dauntless-born keep you up. You've got a long day tomorrow."

After Four had exited, Andrea told her fellow leaders that Chris would be with them later as he was meeting his wife to tell them their son had stayed in Dauntless as expected.

Max stood and raised his hand to Matthew, "Matthew." Matthew nodded back to him. "Natalia, we've met once or twice before, but I am unsure if you've remembered."

She shook his hand, "yes sir I remember," she told him and sat in the seat he motioned to next to her cousin.

"I'm sure you have met Jackson, and of course, you already know Andrea and Eric." Max continued speaking while he put his elbows on his desk and looked at them. "I have to admit, I found it surprising when the two of you transferred to Dauntless." he paused as if waiting for a response.

"We are told not to speak of our aptitude results or the decisions we are to make," Matthew replied to him.

Natalia knew this Matthew, the professional Matthew, the Jeanine Matthew's son Matthew, she turned into the same thing and hated it. They were both trained well in the art of respect and bullshitting.

Max smirked and glanced at Eric, who remained quiet with his fellow leaders, "well, your mother seems to be rather upset about it. She contacted us and said that you both made a mistake," he paused and looked at them, the smirk remained on his face. "She said that you were upset about something or another and that the rules could be bent for you to go to Erudite if you so desire" he explained smugly. "Do you think you made a mistake?"

Natalia couldn't contain her scoff, leave it to Jeanine to try to convince the other leaders to change the rules for her benefit. Matthew glared at her as she changed her expression to neutral.

"I think we can all agree that my mother can be.. quite, controlling," Matthew explained to the leader confidently. "I assure you that we did not make a mistake. We chose to come to Dauntless."

Max looked at Natalia and raised an eyebrow; she remained sitting up straight with her arms folded, her face expressionless as she looked back at him.

"Well, then now that is settled. Natalia, your father, asked us to have you take care of these," he picked up a file off his desk and handed her a file.

"He said you must have been distracted when he asked you to sign them on your testing day," he explained to her. She turned to realize the file had the paperwork to have her medications transferred. She set it back down on the desk, breathing in and out through her nose to control the anger she felt spiraling inside of her.

"Qu'Est-Ce que c'est? (what is it)" Matthew asked her.

"Mon médicament transfert paperasse, je ne l'ai pas signé (my medication transfer paperwork, I didn't sign it all)," she replied to him as Jackson cleared his throat.

Natalia sighed, she had hoped that since she hadn't signed them, her father would have just let it be. "I didn't forget," she told him and crossed her arms again.

Max raised his eyebrow and picked up the file, opening it he replied, "you didn't forget?" There was a pause Max glanced at Eric.

"No sir," she replied again in the same voice.

Natalia heard Matthew sigh next to her. Max looked at the file and began speaking, "you signed this one, right here for... what is this?" he glanced up at her then to Eric and handed him the file.

"Isn't that personal information?" she piped up. Damn it! Stupid inner Candor, she controlled it for the most part but everyone once in awhile she let it slip. Matthew would never let her hear the end of this.

Eric glared at her as he opened her file, "we're your leaders, nothing is private to us."

She felt herself turning red. "I haven't been taking them, but I still need the one I signed for every few days.." she explained to him before Eric could.

Max began to reply but was interrupted by Eric "you haven't been taking it? Have you been taking any of these?"

Matthew looked to her expecting the answer as well. "Natalia, quand avez-vous cessé de les prendre? (when did you stop taking them)," he asked her quietly.

She ignored Eric's glare and her cousin's question. "I don't need them anymore, and I won't sign the papers," she told Max.

Eric scoffed, "these were obviously prescribed for a reason!" he stated. "You're her cousin, do you think she should stop taking these?" he asked Matthew, he handed Max the folder.

Max opened it and skimmed his eyes through the first few pages stopping on the last page.

"You punched your father in the face?" Max questioned her. Jackson laughed from his corner, obviously amused with the turn of conversation.

Natalia sighed, "he deserved it."

Jackson laughed again, this time, he turned it into a cough when he realized Eric was glaring at him.

"My father even agreed that he deserved it, which is why I was never punished for it. The incident isn't even supposed to be in my file," Natalia explained to him.

Matthew spoke up, "if she hasn't been taking them, then I didn't notice. Perhaps she doesn't need them anymore. They only put her on them when she was grieving for her brother."

Natalia realized her jaw hurt from clenching it and began to bite the inside of her cheek instead.

Natalia remembered _that_ night; it was about a month and a half after William died. Her father had said terrible things, and she had lost it. She had broken countless objects, and she had punched him in the face. The only reason she hadn't gotten in more trouble, and it as kept quiet, was because her father had told Jack he deserved it and recommended the medication instead.

Jack agreed and told her that when you lose someone, you love, you do crazy things, things that you would likely regret later.

Natalia had told them that she would never regret it, because he had deserved it, and that was that.

After a few weeks of hell and a few minor problems, she was put on another medication, and once it began to work, she was assigned more classes in school with Matthew, as well as multiple extracurricular courses that were generally reserved for Erudite.

Matthew and her became close after that, which she was grateful for. She did have a rough time with her brothers death, and probably wouldn't be sane if Matthew hadn't been there for her.

Jeanine never questioned the innocent, nor the one a few weeks after, but that was something Natalia preferred to never think about. She preferred it that way, having privacy was near impossible living in Candor. For her, it had been easier since everyone knew she had an aptitude for Erudite and would transfer, but there was still a lot she would have rather kept private.

Max shook his head, "you don't think you need any of these medications, and you think you will do well in Dauntless?" he asked her.

She paused for a long moment while trying to choose her words.

Eric spoke up, "a Candor, who doesn't say every fucking thing on her mind," then replied sarcastically, "how refreshing!"

Natalia clenched her jaw again. "I belong here. I don't care if you don't believe it, or if my father doesn't, or my aunt, or anyone else" Max stared at her with a raised eyebrow, he didn't reply, so she continued, "I made my choice, isn't this my choice too?"

Eric scoffed, and Natalia tensed again.

Max stood up, "Okay, then this is all settled. You are right if you feel otherwise you can go see Will in the infirmary, and he will have them on hand."

 _That was it?_ Natalia was surprised. "Matthew I hope you will notify us if you think she needs them as well," she rolled her eyes, she didn't need him babysitting her.

"She can be quite stubborn. I assure you, I will notify you immediately if I agree that she needs to be back on them," Matthew replied to him and stood.

Natalia glared at him with an otherwise expressionless face; Matthew shook his head as if to tell her it wasn't the place to begin to argue again. Eric spoke again, "she should be taking the medications prescribed..."

Max interrupted him "we can't force them down her throat Eric."

Eric scoffed again, "I'm sure I could find a way." He smirked while he said it, in a menacing way that would probably scare the shit out of most people, but it just pissed Natalia off.

She finally stood up and glared at him. She was about to open her mouth but was able to catch herself. He was a Dauntless leader; she would respect that. She had to keep her mouth shut. She felt Eric's eyes glaring into her soul and confirmed it by glancing at him without turning her head.

"You are both excused. Take Four's advice and get a good nights sleep. I'm sure you will both do well in Dauntless," Max told them.

Natalia stared at him, she could read body language. The last sentence he said was a lie. She could tell by the way he and Eric shared glances, as well as the look on Jackson's face that none of them thought the two of them belonged in this faction.

Matthew attempted to usher her out the door as she stared at their leader.

"I'm starting to believe you truly are the deaf initiate," Eric told her. She couldn't hold in her anger after that.

Fuck being respectful.

"One of the most important things I learned living in Candor was how to read body language; you don't think either of us belong here," she paused as Max raised his eyebrow, his eyes slightly widening. She continued, her jaw clenching as she spoke, "Thankfully, I don't give a shit what you think. Honestly? I didn't choose Dauntless just because I know I belong here. Since my brother died, I haven't had a say in a single thing in my life. Had I gone to Erudite my entire life would have been mapped out. Matthew's would have been as well. Here I get a chance to choose, we both do."

"Natalia, enough," Matthew told her firmly but quietly and pushed her toward the door. He stopped when Eric walked to her and glared at her, inches away from her face.

"You may be used to talking to the Candor leaders like that because of your daddy, and because they value you saying whatever the fuck comes to your mind, but this isn't Candor. You will speak to your leaders respectfully." Natalia could have sworn he snarled as he spoke to her.

Matthew cursed under his breath, "fucking Natalia."

 _Her daddy?_

She hadn't asked to be called here, and she wouldn't be talked to like a child by a man who was only a few years her senior. Matthew could be the one who played nice, but she sure as hell wouldn't.

"I haven't said more than five full sentences to my father in over a year, so perhaps you shouldn't accuse me of disrespecting anyone since that clearly wasn't my intention."

Eric continued glaring at her; she could see in his eyes he was analyzing their entire conversation in his head.

She clenched her jaw again and turned to look at Max, who was smirking at them.

"This conversation had been quite... Enlightening?" He walked around his desk, past both of them and opened the door. "Perhaps you two will fit into Dauntless quite well," he told her and motioned for them to exit.

Another lie. But Max knew that she knew he was lying.

She exited the office knowing that Eric was shooting daggers in her back, saying nothing further to them she heard Max shut the door behind her.


	12. Chapter 12 (Natalia's POV)

Natalia let Matthew led her toward the shops so they could meet up with their friends before dinner. As they walked silently, Natalia felt her annoyance and anger melt away, realizing that he was upset with her.

"I've never seen you disrespect authority like that.." Matthew said quietly as the walked, "not since the fight with your dad." He paused, slowing his walk he glanced at her, waiting for her response. When she didn't reply, he spoke again, stopped and grabbed her shoulders "we have to fit in here Natalia. Arguing with the leaders won't get us anywhere, especially when you snap for no good reason!"

"No good reason!" she exclaimed, "Matthew they agreed with your mother, that we don't belong here. They were going to try to break the rules and let us go back." He glared at her, "you think that? My mother would never, even for me. They were seeing how we would react" Natalia folded her arms and shook her head as he continued to speak, "this won't be easy.."

"You think I don't know that?" Natalia asked him, still bothered. There was another short silence between them until he stopped again and shook his head, "did you really stop taking all of your medication?" She nodded, "I don't need.. "he interrupted her, "I trust you Natalia. You just have to promise me that if that changes, if anything changes, you have to tell me. Especially when the third stage starts." Natalia clenched her teeth, "I promise."

He looked at her for a few moments longer, she could tell he was worried. He had every right to be since William died. They began walking toward where the few parlors and shops. "Oh, also, please stop arguing with everyone," he told her. She rolled her eyes as they began to jokingly argue and then began to discuss their new friends. He then asked her questions about Justin and she told him what he knew, she asked about Andrew and he told her what he knew. He also told her to ask him herself.

They walked past a small group of Dauntless who glanced at her but continued. Suddenly a thought sparked into her head, she needed change, perhaps changing her appearance would be a good start. Were they even going in the right direction? "Do you even know where you are going Matty?" she asked him. He returned her question with a shrug.

Natalia turned to the small group she had just passed; they probably wouldn't help her, but it was worth a shot, "hey!" The four men turned around and looked at her, all but one turned away from her to walk away. He had a green mohawk and from what she could see down the hall, he was covered in piercings. "Where can we find the parlors? I need a haircut!" she yelled to him.

She waited for a moment for him to answer. "Turn left down that hallway," he pointed, "take the stairway, third door to the right, turn right, then turn left." Wow, he helped her.. "Thank you!" she yelled back to him and turned away quickly. "Good luck initiate!" she heard him yell to her again.

Matthew shook his head at her as they followed his directions, "you're going to cut your hair?" She nodded, "I may add some color to it too, perhaps green like our friend back there?" He scoffed, "I am NOT letting you do that! You shouldn't cut it too short either; it looks good the way it is." She smiled cheesily, "It'll look, and feel, even better when I cut a few inches off of it!"

..

..

They found the hallway with parlors exactly where green mohawk guy had said. She walked into the shop advertised for what she needed and found a girl with purple and black streaked hair, with multiple piercings and tattoos sitting on a bench flipping through papers. She looked up at her and smirked, her black lipstick made her seem menacing.

"An initiate on the first night?" black lipstick girl questioned Natalia and glanced to her cousin. She folder her arms, "I need a change. Can you cut my hair?" The girls smirk grew, and she motioned for her to sit in a chair to the left, "that's why I'm here. Want some dye too? What about you pretty boy?"

..

..

Around an hour later Natalia's hair had been cut from her waist to her chest a few inches below her shoulders. She had kept her bright natural blonde on the top of her hair, but had opted for a dark burgundy underneath; you could only see it when you moved her hair or when tied up. She gaped at herself in the mirror, it was unbelievable how different someone good look with such a small change.

The girl, whose name ended up being Becki, told her she thought it looked great. Becki had talked the entire time about all sorts of things, so she and Matthew had learned a lot about her new faction. And a lot of people she didn't even know.

Becki had also told her that she transferred from Candor fifteen years previously, which explained the talking. Natalia had listened far more than she did talk, as per usual, but she had asked a few questions. They thanked her when they left, glad that the Dauntless she had met so far seemed.. Accepting? Becki told Matthew to "come back and play when he wanted to match his faction," to which he replied, "perhaps I will grow it out?" Natalia had rolled her eyes, she knew her cousin would attract more than just girls like Becki. The girl had glanced at him many times throughout Natalias haircut, trying to catch his eye.

..

..

They walked to the tattoo parlor, hoping that they would be able to help her with a bit of change as well. She had never considered that she would ever be open to the idea of piercings, but she had wanted a few tattoos. Matthew obviously hadn't either, "do we really need to stop here now?" She told him that Mac had said they wanted to get tattoos later on so they might as well check.

It was nearly empty, except for one guy who introduced himself as BJ. He was tall with dark brown hair that was short on the sides and longer on top, he also had an eyebrow piercing and gauges. And he was extremely attractive, in a hot Dauntless man who had confidence oozing off of him kind of way. He had a similar reaction to initiates showing up at the tattoo parlor alone on transfer day before dinner but seemed eager to help with whatever they needed.

BJ explained to them that sometimes the Dauntless-born would show up later on that night but usually not transfers. He asked her if she had just changed her hair, to which Natalia only nodded and introduced herself and Matthew, who asked how many people worked in the shop. "It's just B, Otto, Tori, Tris, and I." Tris? She glanced at Matthew; she remembered Four mentioning her name earlier; he did as well. BJ spoke up once Matthew began walking around the parlor looking at tattoo sketches, "so did you want to get anything to match your new hair?"

She smiled at him flirtatiously, "perhaps, what would you recommend?" They talked about options and he suggested avoiding any piercings that could get in the way when training but told her that all tattoo options were open. "What specific piercings might get in the way when I'm training?" Natalia asked him as they sat down. He smiled at her, "oh, you know, anything can be ripped out. Nose, lips, and eyebrows should probably all be avoided during your fighting stages."

Natalia could only imagine why hoping that she would learn quickly how to avoid getting hit altogether. BJ continued, "if you want a piercing there are ones that you can get that have a less likely chance of being hit. Tongue for instance, or even your belly button. That one is a higher risk but still less likely if you block well enough."

She considered them both for a moment as he continued, "or even.." he smiled charmingly again and looked at her chest, then back to her eyes. He shrugged and raised one of his eyebrows. She began laughing when she realized that he meant her nipples. She never even considered such a thing! He laughed with her, "you'd be surprised how common it is! I've got my left one done," he paused as she smiled more, "I'd be happy to show it to you" he told her flirtatiously.

Natalia rolled her eyes when she noticed Matthew glaring back at them, sick of her flirting since they'd gotten to Dauntless. She stopped laughing but remained smiling at him, "you Dauntless work fast," she told him. He laughed, "Well, we aren't afraid to go for something we want, and I don't get the chance to talk to such gorgeous girls often," he winked at her. She doubted it but he didn't seem to be lying. She felt her cheeks redden a bit but her stomach was rolling.

"How bad did it hurt?" she motioned toward his black shirt. "So you are considering it?" he asked her and paused, "it wasn't that bad. They only take a few weeks to heal. For women, it's usually quicker." Hmm.. interesting "Let's start with my tongue and go from there?" she told him.

Shortly later she had a snake bite piercing in her tongue, two in each of her ears (on top of her regular ear piercings they had been allowed in Candor) and one in her belly button. He told her to tape over her belly when training. The tongue would heal quicker than a standard tongue piercing since it was only a bar across the top rather than all the way through.

Natalia learned that when she tried to talk and began laughing when her words were slightly mumbled. He laughed with her, "don't worry you'll be able to talk to tomorrow. The swelling will go down, and it will only hurt a bit when you eat. It will be completely healed in around a week."

"You're going to regret that when you try to eat dinner," Matthew told her knowingly. BJ had handled Matthew's hovering well when she was getting her piercings. He had even told him he'd be back for a tattoo or two but no piercings, which surprised her. Natalia gave him a pouty look, "well thank god I only need food to stay alive," she told them. She was kind of enjoying herself. "So have you decided?" he asked her. She narrowed her eyes questioningly.

She smiled and rolled her eyes when she realized he was talking about nipple piercings again. "You just want my shirt off, don't you BJ?" she asked him flirtatiously. He smiled, his white teeth flashing this time, "can you blame me?" She had been sitting in the piercing chair with him next to her; he was already quite close to her but when he spoke he had moved closer. Matthew stood up "alright Natalia; let's find your new friends."

BJ continued smiling as he stood up, "let me know after your training tomorrow when you want to come back for those tattoos man, I'll schedule you in whenever." Natalia suddenly heard people coming toward the room they were in so she turned her head to see who it was. "BJ! My man what's going on?" a group of three dauntless men walked in and toward where they were sitting. Natalia stood up, saying their goodbyes they began to walk past the Dauntless men as BJ returned their greeting. "Hey, Natalia! Come back with him tomorrow too?" She laughed and nodded, seeing Matthew roll his eyes.


	13. Chapter 13 (Eric's POV)

**** I am SO sorry I haven't updated in awhile! I promise to keep updating at least a few times a week! I have four or five chapters already written so be prepared! Please feel free to review and point out any mistakes I have made so I can correct them. I'm only human so yes, I do make mistakes ;]**

 **I decided to write not only from Natalia and Eric's POV, but also from Matthew's, and possibly a few others, (eventually Michael, OOOH), so that way you can get to know them as well! I have big plans for the story and some plot twists so hopefully, you enjoy!**

 **Thank you for reading and following! I plan to answer any questions or comments later on this week. I have enjoyed writing this story, and it has helped me become a better writer when it comes to my own ideas!****

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 **ERIC'S POV**

Eric leaned against the window, looking out at the storm that was brewing toward the Amity sector. He thought about how it would affect his trip in a few days if it were to keep up for the week, ignoring the conversation about training Max was having with his fellow leaders and Four. They were waiting for Andrea to get back from her retrieval of Natalia and Matthew.

Max had been furious with Jeanine when she had contacted them only an hour earlier; he had actually yelled at her for contacting them over a video conference on choosing the day. She had been trying to convince them that both her son and niece had made a mistake, and had chosen foolishly out of anger for something or another. Not only was it wildly improper for a leader of a faction to request that they both be transferred to Erudite to begin their training, but it was against the rules and went against everything that Jeanine so diligently stood for her entire career.

It had taken a while for Max to calm down, something Eric hadn't seen in months from him. Max was usually controlled, vicious and not a force to be reckoned with, but he controlled his features well. Max was a good leader, a brave man, and wanted nothing to do with any sort of rule breaking. Dauntless was finally on good terms with the other factions, not great, but good enough to ensure cooperation with security protocols, but Erudite still floated on thin ice with them all.

Eric had been more curious than angry when they had conferenced with her; he had not spoken up during the conversation and merely stood back and watched. He had been surprised that Jeanine would request such a thing, but he had known that having leader's children transfer to Dauntless would cause problems. He heard speaking in the office outside, and Tina's welcoming voice. Clearly, the other leaders had as well as they shifted in their seats. Andrea walked in with the two transfers behind her, both of their faces reflecting no emotion at all.

Four stood, excusing himself from their meeting "Tris is waiting for me; we have some things to do before dinner. I will update you tomorrow after the first part of training." Andrea excused herself into Tina's office after explaining to them Chris wouldn't be joining them until later on. Max stood from his seat and shook his hands with Matthew, then introduced himself to Natalia. "Matthew, Natalia, we've met once or twice before, but I am unsure if you've remembered." Eric watched closely as Natalia shook her leader's hand as well, standing as straight as Matthew, explaining to him that she remembered.

Max introduced his fellow leaders and put his elbows on the desk. Eric silently cringed at the rude gesture, then scolded himself for thinking so Erudite-like. Eric realized that much like his mother, Matthew controlled his features well but had seen Matthew glanced at the gesture as well, obviously thinking the same way.

"I have to admit; I found it surprising when the two of you transferred to Dauntless," Max explained to them. Matthew waited a moment politely before responding to him, "we are told not to speak of our aptitude results or the decisions we are to make." Eric narrowed his eyes, Matthew's answer had been well though, although he spoke as if his aptitude results were that other than Erudite. Eric noticed that Natalia's features remained the same as if she were used to Matthew's eerie similarity to his mother's professional demeanor.

Max smirked at them and explained further, "well your mother seems rather upset about it. She contacted us and said that you both made a mistake" Eric watched his leader speak to them, knowing his frustration was barely contained but that he was trying extremely hard to remain humorous. "She said that you were upset about something or another and that the rules could be bent for you to return to Erudite if you so desire."

Max's expression became smug. Eric began to realize that Max wasn't angry because of Jeanine contacting them and the potential problems this could cause if the other factions found out about the request, but at the idea that these two potentially powerful amenities to Dauntless did not act Dauntless in the slightest. Max spoke again, "do you think you made a mistake?"

Natalia scoffed, surprising Eric and obviously Max as well, her cousin turned to glare at her. Eric felt himself anger; his stare was exactly like his mothers. It was eerie at this point, and frustrating to him that these two were under his radar for so long. Eric never bothered to pay attention to other factions children unless necessary, even leader's children. He had only known of Matthew because of where he'd grown up.

Matthew fixed his expression back to Max quickly, "I think we can all agree that my mother can be.." he paused, "quite, controlling." If that weren't the understatement of the century. "I can assure you that we did not make a mistake, we chose to come to Dauntless." Max raised his eyebrow and glanced between the two. The tension in the room was rising, Eric realized it probably didn't help that Natalia sat up so straight with her arms folded. "Well then, now that is settled," Max replied to them.

"Natalia, your father, asked us to have you take care of these," he explained while handing her a file. Eric was surprised, he didn't realize there was more to this meeting than what had been discussed. Nor had he known that her father had contacted him. " He said that you must have been distracted when he asked you to sign them on your testing day," Eric remembered the previous day, seeing her and the other Candor-boy with them. He made a mental note to figure out who her friend had been and where he was. He watched as Natalia set them on Max's desk, her breathing slightly faltered. Eric smirked, she wasn't as controlled as her cousin, probably her Candor background. But damn did she try.

Eric and the leaders looked to Matthew as he spoke to her, lowering his voice, "Q'uest-ce que est?" (What is it?). She replied to him quietly, "Mon medicament tranfert paperasse, je ne l'ai pas signe" (my medication transfer paperwork. I didn't sign it all). Jackson cleared his throat; Eric felt himself more surprised than ever that this girl not only understood French, but spoke it. Not well, he noted, but clear enough to be considered fluent. He also spoke French fluently, but no one in the room knew that. It was not a common thing, very few Erudite were privileged to know another language. Eric had studied both French and Latin, two old languages.

Eric felt himself wanting to smile as Natalia sighed, her Candor showing. He reprimanded himself for thinking of how beautiful her eyes were as she looked up to Max, folding her arms again. "I didn't forget," she explained. Max raised his eyebrow at her, "you didn't forget?" There was a pause as Max glanced to Eric, opening the file. "No sir," she replied.

Eric was beyond curious at that point, obviously, the file was either a previous record, medical, or another red flag or alarming details that leaders would need to know about their members. Matthew was the one to sign this time, as Max continued to speak, "you signed this one, right there, for.." Max narrowed his eyes at the file, but conceded and handed it to Eric. "what is this?" he asked his younger leader.

Thank fucking god, Eric looked through the first page of the small file quickly, wishing it was her entire file so he could examine it thoroughly.

"Isn't that personal information," Natalia spoke, louder than she had spoken the duration of the conversation. Eric didn't know as much as Candor members did about body language, other than his vast knowledge when it came to matters in the bedroom, but he knew well enough that the movement of her hands and the slight pitch in her voice showed that she didn't want anyone else seeing her file. Her want to privacy peaked his curiosity and interest even more, which was frustrating to him. "We're your leaders, nothing is private to us," he told her while glaring.

Eric cursed at himself inwardly at the thoughts that came to him as he realized she was blushing. Candor's did not blush; he knew that she was expected to be Erudite but did not realize how un-Candor she was. The thoughts were of what that blush would look like on her face in a different setting, such as his bed. Or his couch. Or pinned against a wall. Fucking christ he shouldn't be thinking that.

"I haven't been taking them, but I still need that I signed for every few days," she said. Perhaps on her knees in front of him? God damn it, he cursed himself inwardly again. "You haven't been taking it?" Eric spoke up, interrupting Max, which was rare for him to do. "Have you been taking any of these?" he asked her accusingly.

He glanced down the list on the paper, Escitalopram, Anxiety. Sertraline, Anxiety. Paroxetine, anti-depressant, anger-suppressant. Risperidone, Bipolar Disorder. Another medication he didn't recognize. They were all low doses, but these weren't the kinds of medications you just quick cold turkey. He looked up and waited for her to reply, realizing Matthew was waiting as well, surprise showing reluctantly on his face.

"Natalia, quand avez-vous cesse de les prendre?" (when did you stop taking them) Matthew asked her quietly. So he hadn't known that she had stopped? Instead of answering them she looked to Max, "I don't need them anymore and I won't sign for them."

She could be lying, Eric scoffed, "these were obviously prescribed for a reason!" he exclaimed. He geared his attention to Matthew, "you're her cousin," he spoke accusingly, "do you think she should stop taking these?" He handed Max the folder, knowing he would just read through it later. Max opened it again but flipped through the few pages, stopping at the last one.

"You punched your father in the face?" he asked her. Eric narrowed his eyes as Jackson scoffed from his seat, he had forgotten he was there. Perhaps he should have read the file more while he had it. Natalia signed, but looked at Max confidently. "he deserved it." This answer received a laugh from Jackson this time; Eric glared at him, and it turned into a cough. This bitch was hard to pin, he knew why but didn't accept it quite yet, her being from Candor made her actions strange.

"My father agreed that he deserved it," she explained, "the incident isn't even supposed to be in my file." She spoke as if she were being accused. Did she not realize that she was in Dauntless now? Although punching authority figures in the face was looked down upon, if it were for the right reasons... Matthew spoke up, returning to his confident and professional demeanor he had previously shown, "if she hasn't been taking them, I didn't notice." Matthew explained to Max, "perhaps she doesn't need them anymore, They only put her on them when she was grieving for her brother."

Natalia's posture straightened as she looked away from Max, Eric realized she was clenching her jaw. Her brother? Had she lost her brother? She and Matthew seemed to be brother and sisterly like, she could only imagine what she and her real sibling would be like. He was definitely more curious than ever after hearing that remark, but it didn't seem to surprise Max. He wondered when he died, and how, as well as how old he had been if she looked just like her and Matthew, and many other useless questions.

Eric felt frustrated at this entire situation, he didn't like now knowing things and hated that Jeanine and her family still fucking had an impact on him and his life even though he was Dauntless. Max shook his head while looking at the girl, doubt in his eyes, "you don't think that you need any of these medications, and you think you will do well in Dauntless," he questioned her.

Natalia paused for a moment, obviously analyzing how she should answer the questions she had already answered. How Erudite of her. Eric snapped, "a Candor who doesn't say every fucking thing on her mind!" His voice turned to sarcasm, "how refreshing!" He watched her clench her jaw as she stared intently at him. She bravely spoke to him, obviously angry "I belong here. I don't care if you believe it, or if my father doesn't, or my aunt, or anyone else." She paused to see if he would interrupt her small outburst, "I made my choice, isn't this my choice too?" she stated.

Eric scoffed, watching Natalia tense again. Max stood up, "Okay, then this is all settled. You are right if you feel otherwise you can go see Will in the infirmary, and he will have them on hand." Eric felt a surge of anger. These were initiates they were talking about; Max should be telling them to do what they are told and get the fuck over it. It didn't matter who they were and what they thought, he had seen her birthday, she wasn't even eighteen yet. He didn't know if Matthew was but assumed so.

Max continued, "Matthew I hope you will notify us if you think she needs them as well." Eric looked back to her in time to see her roll her eyes. Matthew smiled, "She can be quite stubborn, I will notify you if I agree that she needs to be back on them," he replied to him and stood up. The comment earned him a glare from his cousin, to which Matthew shook his head toward her.

Eric was amazed, this kind of shit wouldn't have flown in his old faction. They were medications, meant to be taken for a reason. He spoke again, "she should be taking the medications prescribed..." Max interrupted him "we can't force them down her throat Eric." He knew Max well enough to know that he wasn't going to push the issue unless necessary.

Eric scoffed again, "I'm sure I could find a way to." He smirked while he said it, in a menacing way that would probably scare the shit out of most people. He didn't want her to know that he wanted to put something else down her throat too, fuck would he enjoy that.. The look she gave to him was that of loathing, which turned him on more. How fucked.

She stood quickly, continuing with her hateful glare. He smirked back, waiting for her to speak up, but she hesitated. So she finally realized who she was speaking to, looking away from him. Good, soldiers needed to know respect and do what the fuck they were told. She glanced back at him, her eyes not showing as much anger as they had before.

"You are both excused, take Four's advice and get a good nights sleep. I'm sure you will both do well in Dauntless," Max told them. He shared a glance with Eric; he knew that it meant that he just wanted to get rid of them. He obviously agreed with Eric that they were just initiates, not worth this much time.

Natalia stared at Max for a moment; she could read body language. Matthew began to push he toward the door, but she stood steady, continuing her stare at Max. Eric watched as her eyes grew angry again, she glanced at Jackson, reading his face as well. She was clearly using her Candor-like abilities to try to know what they were thinking.

Eric decided to speak finally up; she wasn't fucking Candor anymore. She wanted to be Dauntless she needed to listen, "I'm starting to believe you truly are the deaf initiate," he told her. He watched as she snapped, explaining to him exactly what he had just been thinking about her. "One of the most important things I learned living in Candor was how to read body language; you don't think either of us belong here," she paused as Eric Max raised his eyebrow, surprise clearly on his face. He obviously thought they were done speaking and she would leave when dismissed. She continued, her jaw clenching as she spoke, "I don't care what you think, though. Honestly? I didn't choose Dauntless just because I know I belong here. Since my brother died, I haven't had a say in a single thing in my life. Had I gone to Erudite my entire life would have been mapped out. Matthew's would have been as well. Here I get a chance to choose, we both do."

Matthew began to push her toward the door, saying something quietly to her but in the firm voice that reminded Eric of his mothers. Eric walked toward her; enough was fucking enough. She obviously was used to being honest in Candor and was spoiled by Erudite; things were fucking different here. Max was a good leader and deserved respect. "You may be used to talking to the Candor leaders like that because of your daddy, and because they value you saying whatever the fuck comes to your mind, but this isn't Candor," fucking disrespectful little teenager, Eric thought as he spoke, the last words coming out with a sort of snarl, "You will speak to your leaders respectfully."

The room was so quiet that he could hear Matthew's next words, "fucking Natalia." Had it not been so tense and Matthew not looked genuinely worried about what she might say next, Eric may have laughed at them both.

He was surprised as he looked straight into his eyes as she spoke her next words with a deadly calm voice, "I haven't said more than five sentences to my father in over a year, so perhaps you shouldn't accuse me of disrespecting anyone since that clearly wasn't my intention." How was that possible? Even he spoke to his father and mother more than that when he was in Erudite, and they didn't have the best relationship.

She finally unlocked her angry expression from him; he watched her jaw clench again as she turned to Max. That couldn't be good for her to do. He felt a strange feeling in his stomach as she looked away from him, her eyes were so fucking blue.

Eric turned to realize that Max was smirking at them."This conversation had been quite... Enlightening?" He walked around his desk, past both of them and opened the door. "Perhaps you two will fit into Dauntless quite well," he told her and motioned for the two cousins to exit his office. Eric wondered if he truly believed that. The two exited the office without another word as Eric glared at their backs. Max shut the door immediately as they were out.

The room was quiet for a moment until Max chuckled lightly and sat down. "You know, in a way, she reminds me of you as an initiate Eric." The comment earned a scoff from Eric and a small laugh from Jackson. He had never been as Candor as she had just acted. He hated the faction for their disrespectful ways of blurting whatever the fuck was on their mind.

He glared back to Max, plopping himself into the chair Natalia had been in, "do you really think they will do well here?" he asked his leader. Max paused for a moment, putting the file to the side of the desk to be put back into the larger ones. Eric considered offering to do it for him, but he knew Max would recognize his curiosity and take it the wrong way.

"I think," Max paused, "that she might do well. Not great, but well enough to have a decent position. I do not think however that he belongs here. His mother may have been right, that he chose this faction either for his cousin or because he was upset about something." Eric shook his head; he needed a drink before dinner. "Well let's just hope Matthew can show her how to be respectful to her superiors," he told Max while standing, "if not then I may have to teach her, and you and I both know how that would go."

Eric folded his arms while waiting for Max to reply, who was looking at him with a strange knowing look on his face. Max smiled, "I know you were only supposed to help out with some of the conditioning, and only watch the fights now train.. But perhaps you should help out more with training than originally planned." Eric was a bit shocked; he hadn't been hands on in training in years. Not since he had been giving information on Divergent to Jeanine years back during the final stage.

Max continued, obviously seeing Eric's small show of surprise, "you've changed Eric. I know it. Your fellow leaders know it. And many people in our faction have seen it to." Eric scoffed, his arms still folded. "Eric, you aren't the most approachable man but you are a good man. Despite what you may believe, you need to know that I am not the only one who sees that you would be a good replacement when I am done being a leader for our faction."

Eric glanced to Jackson to judge his reaction, Jackson looked at him and raised one eyebrow, smiling at him as if to say he agreed. "Don't let it go to your head," Jackson said jokingly, "people still fucking hate you. You're a real prick. But they know that you are smart and that you are the dictionary definition of Dauntless."

Eric looked at him with surprise again, he and Jackson were good friends but had never spoken like this before. Jackson stood up, telling them both he wanted to get a drink before dinner. Max said he had work to do, but Eric went with him. Jackson smacked his hand on his shoulder walking out, earning a glare from Eric. Jackson laughed and told him he'd buy his drink as they walked out of their leader's office.


	14. Chapter 14 (Natalia & Matthew)

**I thought it might be a good idea to do a piece from Matthew's perspective! ;] There might be others too in the future. Let me know if you think I should do anyone specific!"**

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Continuing after this portion:

 _BJ continued smiling as he stood up, "let me know after your training tomorrow when you want to come back for those tattoos man, I'll schedule you in whenever." Natalia suddenly heard people coming toward the room they were in so she turned her head to see who it was. "BJ! My man whats going on?" a group of three dauntless men walked in and toward where they were sitting. Natalia stood up, saying their goodbyes they began to walk past the Dauntless men as BJ returned their greeting. "Hey, Natalia! Come back with him tomorrow too?" She laughed and nodded, seeing Matthew roll his eyes._

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 **Natalia's POV**

Natalia and Andrew dangled their feet over the edge of the chasm, leaning against the railing while Matthew sat against Natalia's back, too scared to dangle his feet with them. They had left the tattoo parlor only a few minutes before running into Andrew. Natalia and Matthew had yet to talk about if they should tell Andrew why they had transferred, but Matthew told him anyways.

Andrew had told them he was glad to have friends with him, as he had been nervous to start all over again at a new faction. He had also complimented Natalia on her changes, telling her that she would have to go with him the next day to get some work as well. After a short and quiet discussion regarding their aptitude results, they moved on to other topics of discussion.

"It's called emotional intelligence," Matthew explained to Andrew. Natalia rolled her eyes, Matthew felt strongly about the lack of politeness Candor practiced. "Candor is so honest they lack the ability to refrain from saying whatever is on their mind." He continued, "I think you can be honest without being rude."

Andrew was smirking. "I'm surprised you are letting him talk so much shit about Candor," he told her amusingly. "Psh," she replied, "I could honestly, care less. The only reason I spoke up at the table today was that I wanted them to shut up," she told him.

"Perhaps you'd like to talk about security cameras?" Matthew said to them, Natalia groaned in response. Andrew laughed, "he told me you are quite good at hacking into said security cameras?" he asked her. She ignored the question but didn't bother hiding her smirk.

She had in fact, a few times, hacked into some of the security camera's feed when visiting Matthew. She felt that curfew was a silly rule after a proper age, and since both of their parents were so busy, they didn't notice if they broke it anyways; that she wasn't necessarily breaking important rules by not being home when society dictated that she should be.

Matthew had found out that she had done it a few times without him around and hadn't been happy about it. She thought he had been dramatic about his response, as he had told her it was foolish and that she would get caught, and even accused her of being an idiot. She did get caught once but had found a way out of it. She was just as smart as him, and being good with computers and hacking into things was one of her many hidden talents.

"You heard what Lauren said about not leaving Dauntless during initiation right Natalia?" Matthew sat forward and turned to look at her. She didn't turn her head, but she nodded. He meant that she wouldn't be able to do her late night runs as she normally did. "Don't worry Natalia; I'll keep your company!" Andrew told her with his arm around her shoulders, which seemed to be a habit of his, "plus with training we probably won't even have time to consider leaving the compound." The problem was that the fact that she wasn't allowed to leave, somehow made her want to leave. What would she do when she couldn't sleep? She would have to ask if she was allowed in the training rooms at night. They continued to talk until their friends found them for dinner.

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 **MATHEWS POV**

Matthew couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed being around so many people at one time. The large cafeteria was beyond crowded; every table squished with men and women who were wearing dark colors and covered in tattoos and piercings. It hadn't been this busy at lunchtime, and he had been too busy over analyzing his cousin's interactions with their new faction. She seemed excited about their new adventure. All he wanted for her was to be finally happy; she deserved to be happy finally. He knew he shouldn't worry about BJ, but he did. Andrew had a crush on

All he wanted for her was to be finally happy; she deserved to be happy finally. He knew he shouldn't worry about BJ, but he did. Andrew had a crush on Natalia though and never acted on it because Matthew asked him not to because he knew his friend was transferring to Dauntless. Matthew wouldn't mind seeing her with him at all now that they were all in the same faction

Matthew hoped she wouldn't cause more problems for herself when it came to the leaders; you'd think that a leader's daughter and niece would know to be respectful, but she had serious authority problems. Even before she lost William, she did, but Matthew blamed her Candor-upbringing for that. It obviously wouldn't be a good thing in Dauntless, not the way that Eric had been glaring at her. He remembered Eric when he was still in Erudite. His mother had adored him, thought he was as brilliant as her son. He knew that Eric was brilliant, and knew that he had done some terrible things to please his mother. Matthew didn't like to think about those years, though. It wasn't easy after he found out his mother was "hunting divergence." She lost a lot of credibilities and he had to work harder than ever to please his fellow members after that. He was glad for it, though; he did end up earning more respect, but he learned to become more independent and became closer to Natalia.

He remembered Eric when he was still in Erudite. Matthew's mother had adored him, thought he was as brilliant as her son. He knew that Eric was brilliant, and knew that he had done some terrible things to please his mother. Matthew didn't like to think about those years, though. It wasn't easy after he found out his mother was "hunting divergencey." She lost a lot of credibilities and he had to work harder than ever to please his fellow members after that. He was glad for it, though; he did end up earning more respect, but he learned to become more independent and became closer to Natalia.

Everyone around him was talking loudly and cheerfully; various tables were making bets or taunting each other. He didn't know where to look, or who to listen to at their table. Andrew, Justin, and Natalia were conversing with one another, and the Dauntless-born at the table were rowdily making jokes with the Amity boy named Jacob. At the end of the table, the girl who had introduced herself to him as they were given a tour as Callie was flirting and joking with Dauntless-born he couldn't name, and two other Dauntless-born and Erudite girl named Madilyn were laughing along with them.

Dauntless was so different from Erudite. He rarely ate in the common cafeteria area, other than at school with his quiet group Erudite acquaintances and andrew. In Erudite he was respected by all, they knew he was the most intelligent of them and was regarded as such. He was expected to follow his mother's steps into leadership so throughout his childhood and teens he spoke to adults more than the kids his age while in Erudite. Other than Andrew no one bothered to know him on a personal level, and when he wasn't studying or doing some extra-curricular activity, his mother assigned him he had been with Natalia.

He listened to the Dauntless-born ask the transfers questions and returned the ones they were asked. They weren't necessarily kind like Amity were, nor friendly, but personable; a quality Matthew saw in few people and had little experience with. They weren't blunt like Candor were, didn't bother to be polite or convey intelligence in communicating, but were confident and in a way they felt, well wild.

Mathew realized didn't fit in here. He could see how Natalia could fit in; she was just as intelligent as him, but she had always bad a wild side than he could ever imagine having. She would run into a problem with following rules, though, as she had a tendency to make her own, which would have been just as dangerous in Erudite as it would be in Dauntless.

The problem Matthew had with her rule breaking, was that she always could come up with a logical explanation for why she was doing so. It was irritatingly genius. He had watched her talk her way out of more than one occasions of being caught doing something she was not supposed to. It was impressive but infuriating.

Around a year prior she and he had been out past curfew, they had headed out to find a tall building so they could drop a penny and a large weight at the same time. They had run into a group of Candor men with two Dauntless guards. Natalia had convinced the Candor man, Jeremy, who had been a friend of Williams, that the experiment was vital to their studies, and he would have to face the wrath of Jeanine if he interrupted since they had full permission from Jeanine to be out and about at eleven in the evening. They, in fact, did NOT have his mothers permission to be out and had the men verified the accusation they would have gotten in quite a bit of trouble.

The experiment was because they had argued for nearly half an hour about which would hit the ground first. Natalia argued that the large weight would, and Matthew knew that without any other elements (the wind for instance) they would hit the ground at the same time. When she finally decided they were going to test it for themselves, he tried explaining that she would be right because there was no way to test such a thing by just tossing the items off of a roof, to which she had responded: "well, we're going to do it anyways."

That was a prime example of how there was no stopping her once she went going with an idea. She was stubborn, never quit, and although she had problems with mental health after the loss of her brother she faced most things head on with determination. Around half a year prior, she had been caught hacking into the Erudite's security cameras on a Saturday afternoon because she was curious if a man she loathed was cheating on his wife with his assistant (he was, and she saved the footage).

Matthew had told her it was the stupidest and most irresponsible thing she could ever attempt since the man was highly regarded by the leaders at Erudite. She had explained to Matthew she had no reason to know such a matter and agreed that it wasn't logical, and she had no plans to use it against him (although she ended up saving the fucking footage). She just wanted yet another reason to justify why she felt such a passionate hate for him.

Matthew told her that she had plenty of reasons for her strong feelings toward the man and didn't need yet another one, but she drew him along and did it anyways; from a computer in the small library in the building he lived in (that she wasn't even allowed to be in).

Neither of them had known that Xavier, the man (only a few years their senior) who had created the entire firewall system protecting all of the security technology from outsiders. He worked with Dauntless to keep all of the cameras feeds precise, clear, and updated had been visiting Dauntless and was running scans and patching a few holes in his system at the same time Natalia had decided to hack into it. He had the screen locked onto the computer she was on from Dauntless and opened a chat with her, asking her who she was and what she was doing. Of course, Natalia gave him snarky answers and teased him rather than being honest, as Candor were expected to be. This teasing, of course, was because thought she had covered her tracks by making the cameras in the library and them on the way to the library from his apartment look like no one walked through them, but she had been wrong.

Xavier had the screen locked onto the computer she was on from Dauntless and opened a chat with her, asking her who she was and what she was doing. Of course, Natalia gave him snarky answers and teased him rather than being honest; as Candor were expected to be. This teasing, of course, was because thought she had covered her tracks by making the cameras in the library and them on the way to the library from his apartment look like no one walked through them; but she had been wrong.

Xavier had shown up at Matthew's door about a few hours later asking questions. Natalia had managed to convince him that she was too shy to ask him how to work the "brilliant system he had updated so well" and was only trying to study it. Instead of being angry, Xavier spent the entire evening explaining to her the entire system and how everything ran (even though she already knew most of what he had told her).

Natalia had not only charmed her way out of getting in trouble but into the poor man's heart. Matthew wasn't even sure Natalia realized that the man was absolutely in love with her.

Xavier had told her he wanted to see her again, and he even ended the evening telling her that once she was a member of Erudite that he would be happy to teach her more and train her in his labs, as he worked on various other computer-related projects as well. After he had left Natalia hadn't said a word about it, and Matthew didn't bother asking, but he knew that she had spent more time with him learning the ins and outs of the system. Matthew wondered if the man would be upset they were not in Erudite after teaching her so much. He knew that Natalia became friends with him and visited him every once in awhile, and he also knew that he liked her more than she probably understood, despite her Candor ways.

After he had left Natalia hadn't said a word about it, and Matthew didn't bother asking, but he knew that she had spent more time with him learning the ins and outs of the system. Matthew wondered if the man would be upset they were not in Erudite after teaching her so much. He knew that Natalia became friends with him and visited him every once in awhile, and of course he also knew that he liked her more than she probably understood, despite her Candor ways.

Natalia belonged here. He didn't. His aptitude results told him that he did but he knew he didn't. They knew he didn't. The leaders didn't see what he saw in Natalia; she was a perfect mix of her older brother William and himself. He was Erudite's golden boy, not Dauntless's.

He heard himself being brought into the conversation at the table, after keeping relatively quiet throughout most of the meal.

"I'm not a huge fan of chocolate cake, but Matthew is!" Natalia had told Mac while setting the slice of cake the Dauntless-born had gotten her in front of Matthew. He glanced at her and raised an eyebrow; she rolled her eyes knowingly "thank you, though." He smirked at her; she was terrible with manners. "Yes, thank you Mac," he told him as he picked up his fork and began to eat it. Matthew would admit he had a guilty pleasure for sweets. His mother was always rather upset with him for his terrible eating habits when he was a child.

Seconds after he began to eat his cake there was a loud yell from the porch at the side of the cafeteria. Matthew followed the turn of heads toward the yell and realized it was the Dauntless leaders. "HEY! LISTEN UP!" Max yelled. The crowd quieted immediately, obviously respectful of their leaders. That was one thing Matthew knew he would value in Dauntless, they respected authority and followed a chain of command. Max began to make a small speech to the group; Matthew noticed the people from the kitchens and hallways stuffed into the room quickly to listen.

"All of you know today was the choosing ceremony, in which our initiates chose to come to our faction and prove their bravery will be beneficial to the security system our factions rely on. In the past, we have cut members, but in recent years we have come to accept all of our initiates so long as they prove themselves worthy. Those who do well in initiation will be our leaders, the superiors of our faction, those who do not will have the unfavorable positions. We expect our initiates to be willing to learn the ways of Dauntless quickly, and to become the soldiers our system expects us to be. As most of you know, we value faction over blood more than the other factions, and we rely on our manifesto more as well. In the Dauntless manifesto it states that we believe in justice over peace, in not only acknowledging our fears but learning to overcome them, and most importantly we value bravery over anything. Initiates stand," he spoke loudly and firmly.

As they stood, Matthew noticed that the Dauntless-born stood straighter and more confidentially than most of the transfers. Natalia had folded her arms and was glaring up at the leaders, clearly still upset about their meeting earlier that day. Matthew followed her gaze to see that she wasn't just staring at the leaders, but at Eric, who was glaring coldly at her. Matthew narrowed his eyes and glanced back at Natalia, who tilted her head and smirked as if she was glaring at nothing more than a rabid dog. He'd have to ask her about that later.

"Initiates!" Max continued, "we expect you to do your best while in Dauntless. To be respectful of our ways and your superiors. You chose to be here; you chose to be a soldier, and we plan to push you to your breaking point in order for you to belong. It will not be easy, but if you are strong enough, this will become your home. Good luck!"

Loud cheers rang out around them as Dauntless began to lift the initiates in the air. Matthew quickly grabbed Natalia and dragged her to sit at the table, knowing she didn't like people touching her unless invited. He'd been surprised when she'd allowed Andrew to put his arm around her; twice. He saw a few others begin to sit down as well, so she wasn't the only one.

Few people paid attention to those who were sitting, as they were focused on those around them and those being lifted in the air. However when Matthew glanced back up to the leaders, he saw Eric continuing to stare down at Natalia, this time smirking menacingly. He knew that this faction didn't tolerate weakness, but Natalia would have not only freaked out but gotten angry if they tried to lift her. Great.

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Matthew knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. This place was so different from his clean, organized, and plain apartment he had shared with his mother. Although he had basically lived by himself since she had never been around. It was also warm, as he compared it to the cool feel of his old home. He didn't think that he felt homesick, but that he just wasn't used to the strange place he would call his home.

He heard a few of the people in the room sniffing, not bothering to attempt to find out who it was. He knew that Natalia was probably awake, but he hadn't seen her cry in around two years. Plus she never had felt at home in Candor, so there was no need for her to be homesick either. He was worried about her not taking her medication, but if she was telling the truth and had stopped taking them long ago, then he had to trust she was right.

Having her with him would make this his home. She had promised him before that they would live together when she transferred to Erudite. That is where they would be if he hadn't asked her to come to Dauntless. His mother wasn't accepting of Divergent. He doesn't know what she would do if she found out that he was had he stayed.

Matthew knew that Dauntless's testing had been changed and that Divergent's could not tell they were in simulations anymore. That had been a demand of the other factions when his mother had gotten reprimanded and almost lost her leadership position years previously.

He still wasn't sure that he belonged in Dauntless. Natalia was so sure that they were capable of being a the top of initiation so they could choose decent jobs. He wasn't so sure, though. He was active and was in great shape for Erudite's standards, but not to Dauntless standards. He enjoyed to run as Natalia did, but on a treadmill not outdoors. She had only joined him during the winter months where there was too much snow for her to run around outside.

Did he belong here?

He thought of various parts of the Dauntless manifesto, as he had memorized all of the factions manifestos (among many other things) when he was a child, and remembered Max's speech from dinner.

"We believe that justice is more important than peace." Yes, he believed that entirely. It was illogical to think that peace could be found in any situation, as justice needed to be served to all those deserving to keep their faction system thriving.

"We believe in acknowledging fear and the extent to which it rules us."

He could agree with that, and didn't fear much, but that wasn't because he was brave but because it was illogical to fear things that were scientific explanations.

"We do not believe in empty heads, empty mouths, or empty hands."

He could most definitely agree with all of those things.

"We do not believe in good manners. We do not believe that any other virtue is more important than bravery.."

He believed in good manners, and he wasn't sure if he valued knowledge over bravery. He'd never expected to be Dauntless, so he'd never thought about having to be brave. He felt protective of Natalia, like a brother would, and would probably do anything for her.

He flipped himself over, so he was laying facedown. He needed to sleep. He couldn't sleep. He wanted to brave but didn't know if he could.


	15. Chapter 15 (Eric & Natalia's POV)

**** Please let me know if you want to see anyone else's POV. Thank you for the follows and reviews!****

 **Eric's POV**

As Eric laid in bed that night, he realized that he would have a restless night. He couldn't stop thinking of the conversation with Matthew and Natalia in Max's office, mostly just of Natalia. Thoughts of her bright blue eyes had been haunting him. Those fucking eyes. The look she had given him when he first met her had been brave and alluring.

She was Erudite, but her actions showed Dauntless. She was obviously Divergent; he wasn't sure about Matthew yet, though. He was sure that no one had accused her of such a matter, as no one spoke of it anymore. It was a title brushed under the rug. Eric had hated them at one point, alongside Jeanine and her Erudite.

It would be understandable if they did not want to be in Erudite because of her feelings toward Divergents. Matthew could have followed Natalia because he didn't want to go alone, or perhaps she asked him to. Or perhaps he was Divergent too? It was frustrating not having the answers to these.

That was why he was thinking of her; it had to be. It was just his old Erudite ways of being curious and wanting to obtain as much knowledge of the unknown as he could. It wasn't her at all, just the idea of her. He wanted to know more about her, because of her connection to Jeanine. That was all. The mere fact that she was as attractive helped. Not that it mattered much, she was probably a virgin anyways.

That night at dinner he had noticed that she hadn't let anyone touch her, Matthew had noticed that he'd seen her. He'd have to use that against her during her training. If it were a fear then it wouldn't slide, if it was just a preference, he felt the urge to want to test out what she might do. Nevermind that, he hadn't gotten laid in awhile he needed to stop thinking about initiates like that. Although it was only one initiate.

He changed his thoughts and began to think about how running away from the faction the two cousins belonged in was not Dauntless-like, but if they are Divergent, then Dauntless would be their faction too. That was why they hated Divergent so much, Jeanine and some of her fellow Erudite. Because it was so complicated to understand, to control. Eric couldn't understand it; he knew that he was smart, brilliant even, but he wasn't both Erudite and Dauntless. The test on his choosing day had told him so, and he had been taught to trust the test.

Max had said two years previously to him, that perhaps if we were to take the test later on in life, we would have different results. He knew that Erudite had perfected the test, they had studied vigorously to obtain the results that would best place a person in the faction they belonged. Now it was possible to be compatible to two, or even three, why wouldn't it be possible to change? Max had told him that change was good sometimes, so long as it was for the better. He rose from his bed and threw on the clothing he had worn that day. He knew that he wouldn't sleep until he either had more information, which he could find out mostly from her file or by a bit of investigation. Or until he was too exhausted to consider bothering with finding more out about an initiate who shouldn't mean anything to him, yet that he couldn't get out of his thoughts.

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 **Natalia's POV**

Dinner the evening before had been wonderful. She hadn't remembered having that much fun with more than just Matthew in a long time. She had quite a bit of time with both Nolan and Xavier, but her relationship with them was different. They had been her friends, but these friendships seemed different. She knew that once training started, it might not last. They would be fighting one another for the top spots, and Dauntless was known for being cut-throat. They were competitive, just as she was. She just wanted to enjoy having fun while she could.

Matthew had been quiet most of the meal, seeming to space out a bit as he was lost in thought. She had let him be because she knew that he would come out of his shell eventually, especially once they started being ranked. Like her, Matthew didn't like being considered weak. He'd grown up expected to be the best of the best, so he was. She knew he would do just fine in Dauntless because he wasn't a quitter, and he didn't back down from a challenge.

Even when they were younger William, Michael and Benito would drag them both along with them on some of their adventures. The most memorable were when they jumped off a building into a pool of water. Now Natalia wasn't a fan of pits of water, but she could see everything in it so threw caution out the window. And Matthew had a fear of heights, so he technically didn't jump. He was pushed in by Michael, which led to a huge argument between the two. He hadn't like Michael since then, but after William died and Michael disappearing from their lives, his dislike turned to pure hatred. Natalia hadn't told him everything, though, he didn't know that Natalia and Michael had been closer than anyone truly thought. She had trusted him with more than she had ever told anyone about.

It had taken Natalia hours to fall asleep. Her tongue's swelling had finally gone away, so that was nice. Her mind was wandering, as she laid wondering what training would be like. She was currently laying in her bed, staring at the bunk above her. It had to have been early in the morning, she looked at her watch and realized it was only 0430.

They didn't have to be in the training room until 0730. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep, but she wasn't allowed to leave the compound to go for a run, as she usually would. Probably a good idea anyways, considering they were to start conditioning and training. She would need to save her energy. Was the cafeteria opens so early, though? She assumed so.

She quietly rose from her bottom bunk, so she didn't wake anyone else, throwing on her skinny black workout pants, black tennis shoes with red laces, and a black long-sleeved shirt. She grabbed her gray and black leather-like jacket as well since she had been cold in the cafeteria the day before.

As she walked toward where the cafeteria was, she let her thoughts wander again. She wasn't as nervous for training as she thought she would be, not for conditioning at least. She was in shape, not Dauntless shape, but she ran a lot and ate healthy most of the time. She would definitely be nervous for the fights, though.

She wondered if her Dauntless-born friends would be willing to teach her how to fight well on top of their training. Probably not, but it was worth asking. Lord knew she would need all the help she could get! She couldn't afford to not have a high ranking, neither could Matthew. They were both raised to be in leadership, so although Natalia didn't want to be in leadership, she knew they both wanted supervisor positions. Matthew hadn't mentioned wanting to be a leader, though, but she knew that his mother expected it his entire life, so it was likely he did.

As she arrived at the cafeteria, she made her way straight to the coffee, pouring herself a large black cup and raising it to her nose. She closed her eyes and smelled the wonderful aroma. Coffee was the only reason she was a functioning human since she ran on so little sleep all of the time. She turned to see the table next to the coffee had muffins and pastries, fruit, and a few other breakfast items, she grabbed a blueberry muffin and an apple and turned to sit.

She instantly regretted not checking the room for others before grabbing her coffee as her eyes connected with Eric's dark grayish eyes sitting a few tables away. He was sitting with a man she didn't recognize, and anther another leader, Jackson. Both of them noticed Eric was staring at them and turned around to look at her. Natalia rolled her eyes, as they were the only ones in the room. She walked over to them, stopping about a foot from the table.

"Well, you are up early!" Jackson told her with a smile on his face. "Unusual for a transfer, especially on your first day." She didn't bother to smile, she was still drinking her coffee and had an excuse not to be as polite as she should, plus after last night. "I don't sleep much," she told him.

Jackson looked young, certainly not as young as Eric, but he looked as if he could be in his low to mid-thirties. He wasn't the most attractive man, as his features were rather plain; simple brown hair and brown eyes. He had tattoos on all of the skin covering his arms, and the ones on his upper arms marking him as a leader, but only small gauges in his ears and no other piercings.

"So you normally get up early?" Jackson asked her, while glancing back to Eric then back to the man beside him. Eric had his usual glaring look, and frown plastered on his face, he took a sip of his black coffee and looked back up to Natalia, waiting for her to answer. "Yes, I do," she answered. Jackson smiled and put his hand on his elbow, "well what do you usually do with all that extra time?" Eric looked at her knowingly; she remembered running into him only a few days prior. "By the way, I like your new haircut," Jackson told her.

"Normally I would go for a run, but we were told we weren't allowed to leave the compound without permission and a Dauntless member with us." Jackson raised his eyebrows, motioning for her to sit next to Eric, who glared at him, obviously not happy about the invitation to join them, "well, did you not have a curfew at Candor?" he questioned her.

Natalia didn't sit; she didn't want to deal with Eric more than she had to, "I had the same curfew like everyone else in Candor under the age of eighteen," she replied uninterestedly. "Enjoy your coffee," she told them as she dismissed herself and began to walk away. She heard Jackson let out a "whewww," and heard the other man sitting with them ask them if she was the initiate they had told her about.

"Ooops, I forgot to introduce you," Jackson said to him, "probably good thing, since every time an attractive female that transfers here you try to stick your dick in them immediately." Jackson began to laugh as the other man spoke to Eric, "he's the one staring at her ass! Not me." Natalia couldn't help glancing behind her. They had to know that she was listening to them. Still, they obviously didn't care. Eric was glaring at the man sitting with them, Jackson smirking at her, she thought she saw him wink.

She felt her face burning as she walked faster toward the hallway. She walked toward where she thought the net was that they had fallen into the day before. After a few minutes of wandering, she found it, glancing at her watch that read 0455. She set her coffee on the floor, setting her muffin on top of the lid, then rolled into the net. When she stopped in the center, the took a bite of her apple, looking up at the sky. The sun would be up soon, so the brightly lit stars she could see would turn into a sunrise. She would probably go upstairs and watch it. As she laid in the net, she hoped that the sunrise would be the start a good day, not a bad one.

When she stopped in the center, the took a bite of her apple, looking up at the sky. The sun would be up soon, so the brightly lit stars she could see would turn into a sunrise. She would probably go upstairs and watch it. As she laid in the net, she hoped that the sunrise would be the start a good day, not a bad one.

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 **Eric's POV**

"BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP." Eric groaned as he rolled over and smacked the alarm, accidentally knocking it to the floor. Fuck he was tired. He had gone to the training room and ran on the treadmill a few miles until he was exhausted, but still stayed awake for another hour after getting back. He usually didn't have a hard time sleeping but hadn't actually slept until at least midnight. He leaned over the side of his large bed and picked up the clock; it read 0400.

He sighed and got up, taking a quick scolding hot shower and threw on his clothing. He was supposed to meet Jackson and Troye for breakfast in place of Max to discuss the border patrol between Dauntless and Erudite.

Troye supervised the areas near the between the Erudite and Dauntless sectors with Michael and Tony, who were both on patrol rotations for the next two weeks. All of the leaders had kitchens in their apartments, most of the supervisors as well, but those without families usually ate in the cafeteria. Max and Chris only ate there for lunch or when they had meetings.

He filled up a mug of black coffee and headed toward the cafeteria, relying on his feet's memory as he was barely awake to register where he was going. He had drunk most of the cup by the time he arrived, quickly filling it and sitting down at their normal table. He rested his head on the table, closing his eyes and thinking about how his week would likely be awful. He needed to go to Amity later on that day, and would be staying there for two nights.

Eric wasn't sure if he was ready to deal with the hippies. Although Johanna he got along with well enough, he hated those who worked directly with her. They were annoying, and far too cheerful. At least Johanna could hold a conversation that wasn't so enthusiastic he wanted to claw his own eyes out.

Eric looked up as he heard footsteps come toward him, "Eric, my man! You look like shit!" Jackson exclaimed, Troye following behind him. Jackson looked well rested, as he always did, but Troye had bags under his eyes. Jackson went to grab the two coffee and something to eat, leaving Eric and Troye at the table to talk.

Troye nodded to him, "Eric, nice to see you again." Eric nodded back, Troye and him had never gotten along well. They wouldn't report to him until they were back from patrol. Troye and he began to discuss the matters at hand after Jackson joined them.

Around twenty minutes later a skinny blonde walked into the cafeteria, Eric watched her walk toward the coffee machines, realizing it was Natalia. He listened to Jackson tell Troye about the party they were supposed to have when the patrol switched in two weeks and watched as she filled up her coffee.

She was wearing tight black pants and a tank top with a gray jacket on. Eric thought the pants were definitely a good choice, as they showed off her figure well. He watched as she raised the cup to her face, smelling it. Coffee was one of his favorite smells as well, so he understood the gesture.

She quickly turned around and scanned the empty room, eyes locking on his almost instantly. He thought he saw her bright blue eyes widen a bit, but it was hard to tell from across the room. She walked over to them, stopping about a foot from the table.

Jackson had looked up at her with a smile, "Well you are up early! Unusual for a transfer, especially on your first day." Eric watched her judge her reaction, she tightened her grip on her mug and replied to him curtly, "I don't sleep much."

Eric felt a strange feeling as he watched her analyze Jackson, who wasn't a relatively attractive man but did well with women because of his charm. "So you normally get up early?" he asked her and looked to Eric. For some reason Eric thought he might be guessing what was going on in his head, but knew his face was impossible to read, so he continued to frown.

"Yes, I do," she answered. Jackson smiled at her and put his hand on his elbow; Eric knew that charming look, it was the one he used when he was trying to flirt with someone, "well what do you usually do with all that extra time?" Eric looked at her; he remembered that she had run the morning before testing and assumed it was a regular occurrence. The look on her face conveyed that she did. "By the way, I like your new haircut," Jackson told her in his charming voice again, Eric felt the same feeling again, as if he wanted to rip Jackson's face off. He assumed it was because they weren't supposed to be fucking around with initiates, especially since Jackson was a leader.

"Normally I would go for a run, but we were told we weren't allowed to leave the compound without permission and a Dauntless member with us." Jackson raised his eyebrows at the comment. He made a motion for her to sit next to Eric, who continued to glare at his friend. Jackson continued, "well, did you not have a curfew at Candor?"

Eric was slightly glad when Natalia ignored the invitation to sit down, replying to him in a bored voice, "I had the same curfew like everyone else in Candor under the age of eighteen." Eric assumed that was because she could get away with it.

Obviously, her father let her do anything she wanted. Although the comment she had made the night before about never speaking to him made him wonder if she did whatever she had wanted because he didn't care. It didn't seem that way, though; he had never heard rumors about it. In the past when shit like that had happened, especially in Candor, leaders heard about it. There he went with his curiousity again

"Enjoy your coffee," she told them as she dismissed herself and walked away from them. Eric moved his glare from Jackson to her, hearing a "wheww" from Jackson. Troye had stayed silent the entire time, but finally spoke up, "is that the initiate you told me about? The girl and her cousin or whatever that don't belong here?" Eric continued his glare toward Natalia but took the chance to look her up and down as she walked away; those pants were definitely a good decision. Holy shit she looked good from behind.

"Ooops, I forgot to introduce you," Jackson said to him as if he had done it intentionally, "probably a good thing, since every time an attractive female that transfers here you try to stick your dick in them immediately." Jackson laughed at him as Troye pointed toward Eric, "he's the one staring at her ass, not me!" Eric turned his head to glare instead at the two men he was sitting with, realizing that Jackson was looking at the same thing he had been previously. He saw him wink at her with a smirk as he turned to see that she had glanced behind her shoulder, obviously hearing the conversation.

Jackson laughed at him as Troye pointed toward Eric, "he's the one staring at her ass, not me!" Eric turned his head to glare instead at the two men he was sitting with, realizing that Jackson was looking at the same thing he had been previously. He saw him wink at her with a smirk as he turned to see that she had glanced behind her shoulder, obviously hearing the conversation.

Eric felt himself anger; not just an initiate had heard them but because Jackson had winked at her. "You fucking morons," he growled at them. "She's an initiate and a fucking transfer. Not only was that inappropriate but Jackson, if you keep being nice to her with your bull shit charm, people will accuse you of picking favorites. You are a leader, act like it," he reprimanded him.

Jackson narrowed his eyes at him, but Eric continued, "and you," he pointed toward Troye, "if you do try to fuck her, I'll make sure you either get moved to patrol the Abnegation sector with Bethany." He paused for dramatic effect, knowing how much Troye loathed her, couldn't blame him for hating his ex, "but that you lose your supervisor position." Troye folded his arms and shrugged, gaining a snort from Jackson. "My, my, what an interesting reaction from you Eric," Jackson said teasingly.

Eric stood up, Jackson could get away with his annoying-ass jokes, but he didn't want Troye getting the wrong idea because his friend was a moron. "Not fucking funny," Eric told Jackson. "Don't think I'm not fucking serious," he told them and walked toward the coffee machine; he would need more coffee if he were to deal with these two fuckheads any longer.


	16. Chapter 16 (Matthew & Natalia's POV)

**Matthew's POV**

The alarm on Matthew's watch went off at 0600, as it did every morning. He quickly shut it off but looked down to Andrew's bunk to see that it had woken him up, as well as Justin above him. He looked at them apologetically, Andrew rolling slowly out of bed. As Matthew got down he noticed Natalia was gone, he assumed that she had been up for awhile, and hoped to find her in the cafeteria. The two of them quietly got dressed, and Justin went to take a shower, telling them he'd meet them in the cafeteria. The two friends walked toward the cafeteria, silently at first as they were both letting their minds run.

"Are you nervous?" Andrew finally broke the silence as they neared the cafeteria. Matthew nodded his head, "yes, I never expected to be here." Andrew nodded his head back, "I'm nervous too, and I did expect to be here." The comment made Matthew smile a bit. As they rounded the last corner, Andrew bumped into a large hulking man, to which they realized was Eric.

"Oops, I apologize," Andrew said looking up at their leader, "wasn't watching where we were going." Eric folded his arms and glared menacingly, "more early risers.." Andrew nodded his head at him and motioned at Matthew to walk around meant he had seen Natalia, "do you know Natalia is in the cafeteria?" Matthew asked him. Eric glared at him for a moment. "I'm not your fucking babysitters," he stated and stalked away.

Andrew gave him a knowing look, despite knowing him from Erudite Eric was obviously not the person to ask, although Matthew realized he should have known that. After the comment on the roof when jumping, the meeting with him and Natalia, and the glares she had received from him at the dinner the previous night, Eric obviously had a vendetta against the two of them. Matthew couldn't blame him, after the crap his mother had pulled in the past. The two boys went to the cafeteria and sat down with coffee and breakfast, waiting for the rest of the initiates to wake up and join them.

"We're only supposed to do conditioning the first few weeks right?" Matthew asked his friend. Andrew nodded in return, waiting to swallow his food before speaking. Perhaps he wasn't the only one who valued good manners, despite Dauntless manifesto. He was glad to have Andrew there; they probably had a lot of the same Erudite-like habits they would need to break, or not break.

"Yes, there are four stages of training this year, just like last year. Conditioning, which includes things like weight training, obstacle courses, and a lot of running, which you and Natalia will be happy about." he paused to take a sip of his coffee. "I know they are subject to change depending on the groups progress, but the second stage is fighting, the third is fear landscapes, then I think we do more conditioning and other Dauntless-like things."

Matthew knew the easiest stages for them would be the training and exercise. He was already in decent shape, he was thin and ran on a treadmill 20 miles a week. He also worked out a little bit but only to maintain the recommended fat and muscle amount for his height and weight in Erudite.

By Dauntless standards he was lacking but knew that having strength wouldn't be an issue for him, nor Andrew. The fights, however, he didn't think he would do well with. He wasn't a violent person, and never considered being a violent person unless it was necessary, so fighting other initiates wouldn't be easy. Nothing about the next two months would be easy.

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 **Natalia's POV**

"Holy shit, everything hurts!" she exclaimed to Andrew, who was walking slowly with her, obviously feeling their morning workouts as well. It was lunchtime, the group of transfers had spent the entire morning working out. They were all exhausted but were expected to continue and run for the afternoon.

Four and Uriah had told them that morning that they were to be ranked after the first few days depending on their progress. Andrew put his arm around her while they walked toward the cafeteria, Matthew, Jacob, and Justin following them. "This is going to be a rough week," he told her quietly. She nodded in response, not bothering to remove his arm from around her, as she hadn't the past few times he'd done so. It wasn't bothering her as it usually would, she was too tired. Plus is was Andrew, someone she could trust.

As they arrived at the cafeteria, they heard Daniel call them over to their table. The five of them walked over to find Daniel sitting with Max, Callie, and a Dauntless-born girl Natalia didn't recognize. At the end of the short table was Elizabeth, Melanie, a Candor-born Natalia knew but never liked all that much, and another Erudite transfer named Madilyn.

Jacob and Justin both sat, but Andrew and the two cousins hesitated, realizing there wasn't enough room for them all. Callie looked up at the girls. "Oye, you there," she pointed to the girls. "Get up; you can't sit here," Natalia smiled as Elizabeth glared at her. Marilyn and Melanie both rose to move, but Elizabeth didn't get up.

"You don't own the entire cafeteria just because you are Dauntless-born," Elizabeth told her snarkily. Callie stood up quickly and glared at her; Elizabeth stood up as Callie stopped next to her. "Whatever, we were done anyways," Elizabeth told her and began to walk out of the cafeteria. Callie sat down, and the rest of the table sat down, Mac and Daniel continued eating as if nothing had happened.

Natalia sat down as both Matthew and Andrew shook their heads. The confrontation wasn't a huge deal in Dauntless and probably happened a lot. Natalia was used to people being honest, every once in awhile honest enough to cause a few heated arguments, that rarely resulted in violence. She probably wouldn't have even argued with Callie though; she was scary. She wouldn't want to get on her bad side at all, and didn't intend to.

One thing that did surprise Natalia, however, was how quickly the Dauntless-born group had accepted them as friends. Natalia had heard from others that all three of them were expected to be in the top ten initiates. She didn't know about Tiffany and made a mental note to find out how she was doing. She assumed it was because of who they were, or perhaps they had just had a "feeling?"

Natalia knew that she wasn't the best judge of friendships, or how to make them. In Candor it was easy for most, you either liked someone, or you didn't, and told them so. For her, she had been friends with William's friends and Matthew of course.

She and Nolan had connected only because of Nolan's efforts about half a year after her brother had died, she was still fifteen and struggling because her medication had only just started to fit into her routine. The two of them probably never would have become friends, or more, if he had not sort of, forced her to? Not forced, but she had taken a chance at inviting him in and he never hesitated. She remembered the day like yesterday.

..

 _It was freezing outside; she was walking quickly away from the schoolhouse that bordered the Erudite and Candor sectors so she could get home before her toes froze over. She was wearing heels again, by Jeanine's insisting (and probably her fathers, but they didn't talk much). She detested heels; they were insanely uncomfortable, and she didn't give two fucks how they shaped her legs or how she looked "more professional" in them as her aunt had stated in her note. She wasn't the only one who had to wear them of course, most of the Erudite females did, and about half of the Candor did. Some of the Dauntless-born wore heel-like boots some of the time, but no one else did._

 _Jeanine had recently begun giving her more and more attention. Not actual attention of course, but attention through the extracurricular assignments and activities, allowing her to spend more time with her cousin Matthew, and by sending her notes of expectations she was to follow._

 _It had been going on for a couple of months, and she had been getting used to it, assuming it was a reaction to her behavior now that she had been on the medication since the two, incidents. She had begun running, though, which seemed to help more than the meds._

 _As she quickly walked she realized that it was beginning to snow, the small mounds were already at least a foot, ice cycles hung from the gutters, and parts of the sidewalk that hadn't been properly salted were slippery as could be. Which is why she should have seen the fall coming._

 _As she fell she dropped her large bag, which resulted in the contents sprawling out around her on the walkway. She stared at the sky; her backside hurt and her head sort of did too. She imagined what she looked like, books strewn around her as she stared up. She usually loved the snow, but not today. Not in the god-awful heels. She would burn these heels if she could get away with it._

 _"Natalia!" Oh great, a person. "Natalia! Oh wow! It is slippery!" She tilted her head back a bit, her scarf falling off her face where it had managed to land. Nolan Bright was walking carefully toward her, so he didn't slip as well. She didn't know him well but knew that he was known for his enthusiastic personality and talked. She groaned quietly, or at least what she thought was quietly._

 _Nolan stopped right in next to her and leaned over to look at her, "Hey Natalia! I hope you are alright?" She stared at him and sighed. "Here, let me help you up!" After helping her up, he began to help her pick up her books._

 _She motioned for him to place them into her arms so she could carry them as her white and black bag had split she didn't have a choice. He paused as he was to hand some of the books to her, but picked up more instead then watched him glance at her heels. "Those aren't a great choice in this weather; perhaps you should wear different shoes tomorrow?" She rolled her eyes, obviously._

 _She motioned again for him to place the books into her hands, "Oh, no!' he replied shaking his head. "You can't possibly carry all this by yourself! I can help you home," he explained to her. She began to object until he picked up the last book and nudged her away from the sidewalk. "I know it's cold but until we get up there," he pointed to a place where they could walk on salted gravel," you should probably walk in the snow..."_

 _Natalia rolled her eyes but figured since they lived near each other his help wouldn't be the worst thing. He was right; she probably couldn't carry all of the contents of her busted bag by herself. As they walked he asked her a few questions, but mostly talked as if he already knew everything about her. He did, as most did in Candor, but he talked to her in a manner most hadn't bothered to since William had passed. It was refreshing._

 _By the end of their walk, she felt herself smiling at him. His talking could have annoyed her and had it been anyone else it probably would have, but for some reason coming from Nolan, the enthusiasm was, well comforting._

 _"Oh! This is your house; I lost track, I can set these, here?" Nolan asked her, motioning to the side table they had outside their house. William had put it there two summers earlier with three chairs so that they could sit outside on the hot summer days. She shook her head, "do you mind putting them on the dining table?" she asked him._

 _He looked surprised that she had invited him to the house, "of course, I don't mind!" he followed her inside the house. She set her books on the table and entered the kitchen, he followed. As he began to say something she interrupted, "would you like some hot chocolate?" He looked at her with a surprise showing on his face again, his smile growing, "I love hot chocolate!"_

 _That simple gesture had created an interesting friendship between the two of them. One that even Matthew didn't understand most times. They were good friends, but most of their relationship had consisted of him talking and her just listening. He never expected her to be honest or say everything on his mind as he usually did._

 _Nolan could tell when she was annoyed and would cut back on the open-ness when she was. He compensated for the kind and caring qualities that she lacked, for the cold shoulder she gave to most people and the blunt attitude and lack of compassion when speaking to others, a quality that he older brother had compensated for her for so long._

 _Matthew was more personable than her but was still eerily similar to her personality in that he was only personable in a professional manner in most situations. She didn't know that their friendship would grow and that she would enjoy his company, nor that eventually he would end up comforting her on a night she didn't it, in a way didn't expect._

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"So you made it through half of your first day!" Mac said and took a large bite of the sandwich that had been on his plate. Natalia glanced down, noticing he had two more sandwiches on his plate, Daniel had two as well. "I assumed you'd all be more tired than you seem to be," Daniel stated. The two of them looked refreshed as if they had just woken up.

Natalia awoke from her memory and glared at them; she glanced to Matthew, who was glaring the same way she was. She knew that not being the best would be hard for him as he had grown up being the best at everything. Natalia didn't have to speak up, as Adrew spoke first, "You don't even look like you've broken a sweat today! My legs feel like gelatin!"

Andrew grabbed an apple off of the table and took a bite, waiting for one of them to answer as they watched him smugly. Natalia watched him interestedly, she knew Andrew better than she bothered to get to know most people, but not well enough. Now that she was thinking about it, she obviously didn't know him very well at all, considering she didn't even know he was transferring to Dauntless.

She figured she should get to know him better since Matthew was close to him. She didn't know why she suddenly felt the need to be social. She had deprived herself of having more than a few relationships in so many years that it felt odd.

The loss of her brother had changed everything in her life. It wasn't just the loss of her brother, though, but the loss of his friends, because she had thought they were her friends. Especially Michael. She had looked up to Michael and actually had a huge crush on him. She had looked up to him as much as she did her brother.

Natalia had been and still was, beyond hurt when her brother's death caused every single person she was close with, other than Matthew of course, to essentially disappear from her life. It was amazing to think that one person could be the glue that held so many people together, which made it so hard to understand what had happened. She wondered where Michael was working in Dauntless. She had no idea and hoped she wouldn't have to find out anytime soon. She wasn't sure if she was ready to face him just yet.

The group continued to discuss their training. The transfers learning that the Dauntless-born had done the more vigorous training then they had, making them huff in exasperation at the idea that they were so behind the Dauntless-born. Andrew glanced at her, narrowing her eyes upon realizing she had been watching him. She dramatically widened her eyes and raised both eyebrows, smiling at him. He narrowed his eyes but smiled, nudging her then turning back to his food.

Natalia saw that Matthew had been watching him and mouthed to him, "what?" He shook his head and smirked, then finished his lunch. The group made their way back to the training room, hoping that they wouldn't be forced to run enough that they wouldn't be able to keep their lunch down.

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Natalia laid in bed thinking about their first day of training. She was beyond sore; her entire body ached, especially her legs. She thought she had been in shape, but she hadn't. Nope. Not even close to Dauntless standards.

They still had weeks of this before fighting, which she was even more nervous for now. She had been yelled at by Four twice that day, not nearly as many time as some of the others, but enough to make her want to do better. Although her body ached and her muscles were sore, she felt wide awake.

She sighed and rolled from where she was facing the wall, to facing the room full of initiates. She immediately locked eyes with Andrew, who was in on the bottom bunk next to her. It looked as if he had been staring ahead, but ahead and been Natalia's back.

She must had narrowed her eyes or made some sort of face unwillingly because he began to blush as he stared back at her. She glanced at her watch, reading 1115. They had been laying in bed for over an hour; most the initiates had passed out. Two of them had cried themselves to sleep, but she had no idea who she had heard the sobbing from.

She looked back at Andrew, "can't sleep again?" he mouthed to her. She shook her head, "me either," he mouthed again. He leaned out of his bunk and looked up at where Matthew was asleep above her, "I guess he can!?" he mouthed to her again, smirking, and stood up quietly. He tip-toed to her bunk and sat down. "Do you want to go in the hallway?" he asked her, this time whispering softly. She nodded and began to rise.

They both froze as they heard someone cough and roll over as if they had been woken, they smiled at each other and quietly walked outside. Once they walked down the hallway toward a split they sat on the ground, Andrew was sitting only a few inches from her. She didn't know what to think of him asking her to the hallway.

She knew that based on his body language, Andrew felt more for her than a friend would, but didn't know if it was an emotional response or physical. Physical she could deal with, emotional, she didn't think she could. He was Matthew's good friend, and she had only 'been with,' three men; Nolan and Xavier. The third she tried to forget about, no one ever knew they had been physical anyways. Both of the "relationships" she had, were rather unorthodox.

Andrew stretched his arms at legs, leaning against the wall, "ughh!" He mumbled, "I am so sore, everything hurts." He leaned his head back at looked toward the ceiling. "I was yelled at by the trainers at least ten times today," he told her.

"I knew this wasn't going to be easy, and that it would take a lot of conditioning, but damn.." he paused and glanced at her, realizing she was leaning her heads against her knees, watching him as he spoke. He gulped and looked back to the spot on the ceiling, "I kind of miss home.." he stated, "do you?"

Natalia scoffed at the question. That feeling of missing something, well that had been one of the only feelings she had felt in the past few years. She had always felt some sort of strange sense that something was missing, perhaps her mother not being around and not knowing her, or the lack of attention from her father who was always so willingly giving with his emotions toward his son but never her. But that was different than the pang that she felt when she thought of William.. Or even of Michael, or Benito, or Tony, Chester, Leonard, and even Leonards annoying brother Lee.

No. Not even a little, did she didn't miss home. She did miss the idea she had of home, though. She had imagined herself in Erudite for the past few years, away from her father, with Matthew. Not in Dauntless, yet she felt strangely at home in the cavernous Dauntless compound.

When she didn't answer right away he sighed, "I didn't mean to.." he paused, thinking of the right words to say to her. "I know you didn't," she told him. That's all she could say really. She didn't want pity, or reassurance, just to move on. That was what she had wanted before her cousin had told her he had the same aptitude test results that she had.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before he began talking again. She had looked away from him and toward the wall, listening to him talk about what he needed to work on in training, answering quietly when he asked her things.

After a few minutes of talking quietly, he paused and shifted a bit closer to her, "I didn't mean to upset you, Natalia. I know you don't miss home. This is home now, though, so it doesn't really matter, does it?" She looked back to him, leaning her head on her knees again, "it doesn't," she replied to him.

"What the hell are you two doing up?" Natalia jumped, startled when she heard the voice from down the hallway, glancing up to realize it was Uriah who was walking toward them. " You two should be in bed, I mean I get it, romance isn't easy in a room with a ton of other people.. But.." Uriah paused as he was talking, glancing between the two. Natalia had her left eyebrow raised, knowing that Andrew was probably blushing again.

Romance... They had just been talking. He continued, "how are you not passed out anyways? I remember how tired I was my first day of training!" After they had stood he ushered them down the hallway, toward the large dorm room. He lowered his voice as he told them to go to bed. Natalia walked silently to her bed and laid down, glancing at Andrew, who smiled faintly at her before rolling to his back to stare at the bunk above him.

She rolled toward the wall again, thinking of the last time she had been "romantic" with someone. It had been with Xavier, only two nights before when she had visited him after walking her cousin home. She and Matthew had decided to transfer to Dauntless together, and for some reason, she felt the need to tell Xavier.

Her and Xavier had been only friends really but had only kissed a few times. He had been respectful of the rules of dating those underage, especially since she was in a different faction. But they had ended up sleeping together that night, shortly after she apologized to him for leaving. She knew that Xavier had liked her, and she had liked him as well.

Well, sort of, she had a feeling their friendship could blossom into more if they were in the same faction, especially since she had planned to work with him in the same departments while training to be a leader. He had made jokes with her and even called her "boss," a few times. He told her that he understood and that the test was intended for people to follow the path that would allow them to be their true selves.

Xavier had been so understanding and had offered her a glass of wine. She gladly accepted, and they talked for a bit about the computer systems in Dauntless that she could work in. They continued drinking, another bottle was opened, then another, and one thing led to another; she ended up in bed with him.

Natalia's most recent sexual experience had been Nolan, who had a gentle personality that reflected in the sheets. Xavier however, was a Dauntless transfer, which reflected in the sheets as well. Xavier was more, physical, and rough, which was definitely more her style.

Matthew didn't know she had slept with Xavier, and probably wouldn't unless she told him. He hadn't known about her first, and probably never would, and she considered not telling him about Xavier as well. He might judge her for it because it was before they transferred, plus because she was supposed to go home immediately after leaving his apartment. She knew that Matthew had a few small relationships in Erudite, and slept with a few people, but never cared to indulge in the details.

Erudite were all about covering things up ,though. The whole, "kiss and don't tell" bullshit, quite the opposite of Candor, and Dauntless seemed to not care about appearances. So although they were curious, events such as that were usually left unspoken. She knew he had slept with a girl named Alison around two years back, but not about anyone else.

She was sure there were others. She didn't really want to know anyways. Just as he probably didn't care to hear about her nights with Nolan or Xavier, only that it had happened. He would care about who she lost her virginity to, though, more than he should. She didn't think he would be keen on her getting closer than a friendship with Andrew, nor did she think it was a good idea to be more than friends with him. Even if they sparked a relationship she doubted it would last, which could cause issues between the two friends. She didn't want that.

She didn't think Matthew would be keen on her getting closer than a friendship with Andrew, nor did she think it was a good idea to be more than friends with him. Even if they sparked a relationship she doubted it would last, which could cause issues between the two friends, and she didn't want that.

For some reason, the conversation in the cafeteria popped into her head if she could call it that. She wondered if Eric had been checking her out as they had said, or if the two men were just messing with her. She imagined it was the ladder of the two scenarios, considering Eric was known for being a ruthless leader.

Eric probably thought of her as dirt on the bottom of his shoes, especially since she was Jeanine's niece. She didn't like the things Jeanine was known for in the past any less than others did, nor how she had not mothered Matthew as a normal mother should, not that she knew much on that note considering she never had a mother. Or how controlling she was. But she was sure Eric felt a more passionate dislike for her aunt than most.

Eric probably didn't have time to bother paying extra attention to an initiate anyways. Natalia knew she was attractive, but she wasn't anything special. She was thin and had good legs from running and wearing heels, but that meant little in a faction keen on being active.

The main feature about her that stood out was her eyes. She knew that in Erudite her looks meant nothing, and assumed it was the same in Dauntless. Eric was a leader, and she was probably the last thing on his mind. She couldn't help but think about how he might be in bed though.

She felt herself falling asleep, and rolled from her back to face the wall. She shook her heads of the thoughts of the dark-eyed leader from her eyes as she drifted off to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17 (Natalia's POV)

**I am so sorry I haven't been updating as often as I promised! I have been busy busy busy! Plus I have a MILLION ideas for this story... Lots of dramatic plot twists and such.

As for reviews, I know I am terrible at replying to them, so I apologize for that too! One commenter mentioned ideas that I already had, so NandaBR, try to be patient with me! Don't forget the nickname "Tiger" that her brother had given her, which Matthew has called her before. William's friends called her that as well. ;]

Thank you to everyone else who has reviewed I appreciate the support! If you find anything I should fix, or more recommendations, please don't hesitate to let me know!**

**Also keep in mind the lists mention where the characters transferred from, they aren't actually on the board they are only for you to connect the dots ;] **

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Natalia's POV

Six days had passed, and Natalia was sore everywhere. They had spent the first-week building muscle strength and conditioning, which some needed more than others.

Natalia, Andrew, Matthew, Jacob, and Justin, were the only transfers who had spend most of their time with Dauntless-born. The other initiates had begun to treat them differently. Natalia began to realize it was because they were probably threatened, not only because the Dauntless-born paid them more attention, but because Callie, Daniel, and Mac had all been helping them outside of training.

Their friends had even begun to teach them a few fighting techniques, although they weren't to begin learning them in training for another week, and fighting for another week and a half. Natalia was glad for the help, and she was sure the others were as well.

The initiates had been told that their training wouldn't start until 1000 that morning and that they would be joining the Dauntless-born for the day as well. Natalia assumed it was a group activity or the beginnings of the obstacle courses. Daniel had invited them all to the training room to practice more fighting techniques, but only Natalia and Jacob opted to go with him, the rest were either sleeping in or had found something to do.

"Why do you get up so early?" Jacob asked her as the three of them walked toward the training room. "I don't choose to; I just wake up," she replied. "Have you tried going back to sleep?" he asked her jokingly.

Daniel smirked and spoke up, "Mac said he's woken up every morning since you've been here when you sneak out," he told her, "he stated that every time was before 0500, we don't even have to be at training until 0730 most days."

"Damn, I didn't realize it was that early," Jacob told her. She smiled, "you are both just jealous that I can function on less sleep than you." Daniel rolled his eyes replied to her while opening the door for them, "it's amazing that you look as good as you do with such little sleep, I always have bags under my eyes when I get less than ten hours." He winked at her as Jacob rolled his eyes, Natalia rolled hers as well as the two followed him to the training mat on the farthest right side of the large room.

"Daniel stops flirting with me, it won't get you anywhere since I see you do it with everyone," she told him. He reacted dramatically as if he was offended, placing his hand on his head, "you wound me, Natalia! I was beginning to think you may be the only one for me," he told her again. Jacob began to laugh as Daniel winked at her again. "Seriously!" Damn that wink! She pointed to him, "you better teach me how to do that!" she exclaimed.

"What?" Daniel stated and sat down on the mat, "be sexy as fuck?" Jacob scoffed jokingly while Natalia smirked and rolled her eyes, "no dumb shit, wink!" They both looked at her strangely for a moment, Jacob being the one to ask her first, "you can't wink?"

Natalia shook her head, "no! Despite how many times I've tried!" Daniel leaned back on his arms, winking at her again, "and here I thought you were good at just about everything."

"Cut it out!" she exclaimed louder as the two boys laughed at her. She looked around the large room, which consisted of multiple mats for fighting, an area with weights and training equipment, and an area with at least twenty punching bags. There were quite a few groups of Dauntless that were training, but they seemed to be the only initiates.

"Is this where the Dauntless-born have been training?" Jacob asked Daniel as they began to stretch. "Yep!" Daniel replied. "I'm pretty sure we will all be here in less than two weeks. Lauren was telling Tristan the other day that they were considering starting it next week," he explained to them. "Supposedly," he paused, "according to Lauren," he paused again, "this is the quickest learning group of initiates they've had in years." he finished.

Natalia and Jacob were both smiling. "It helps that our trainers are so great," Jacob explained. "I've heard in previous years that Eric trained the transfers with Four instead of Uriah. Could you imagine?" Daniel laughed at him, "don't get your hopes up too high, he still helps out with the training just not as the main instructor like he used to."

Natalia finished her stretching while the two continued talking about the conditioning they had done the past few days. She hadn't seen the leader since the morning she had run into him and his friends in the cafeteria, yet he had passed her mind more than a few times. She found herself curious about him, wanting to know what his jobs were as a leader and who he was now that he wasn't under the reign of her aunt.

Daniel began to show the two basic fighting moves; they had learned the best ways to punch and kick the day before but were nowhere near ready for fighting. Daniel pulled her to the mat with him, getting into a fighting stance he motioned for her to do the same. "C'mon Natalia, throw a punch at me."

She laughed at him, "no way! There is no way I'm ready to start fighting you! Plus I don't want to hurt you unless I have to," she joked. The two boys began to laugh. "Oh baby, you can't hurt me, not physically at least" he taunted her. "My heart still hurts from your comments earlier, though. How about this, if you get a hit in on me, I'll spend however much time necessary teaching you how to wink!"

That had gained a laugh an another eye roll from her, "Cmon Natalia, just hit him," Jacob stated. Natalia began to circle the ring with him; she tried to hit him a few times. Daniel corrected her each time, telling her how to throw the hits and where to pay attention to. "You're tall but still smaller than most opponents, so you have the advantage against them because they won't expect you to attack first," he explained, "look for weaknesses in my defense, and go for it."

She nodded and glanced at his stance, she swung but was deflected by him again. After a few moments of them repeating those steps she began to realize that he kept his right side unguarded when he blocked. She took advantage of it on her next attack, throwing a punch with her right arm, which he blocked, and using her left to hit his side. She tried not to put too much effort into it, so she didn't hurt him, but he grunted and let his arms down to his side giving her enough time to throw a punch.

She took advantage of it on her next attack, throwing a punch with her right arm, which he blocked, and using her left to hit his side. She tried not to put too much effort into it, so she didn't hurt him, but he grunted and let his arms down to his side giving her enough time to throw a punch to his face.

She again hadn't intended to hit hard but didn't realize how much strength she had put into her swing. He hobbled backward, surprised that she had hit him. "Oh shit!" they heard Jacob say as he walked over to them, she looked at him as he spoke. "Hah, looks like she'll be learning to wink!" he told Daniel.

Natalia looked back to Daniel, who was smiling but holding his cheek. "I knew you could do it! You're a quick learner," he told her. She smiled but felt bad, realizing his cheek was starting to swell a bit, "I didn't mean to hit you so hard. We aren't even supposed to be fighting yet!" He shook her off and told her that was the Dauntless way, and he was glad she was learning.

Daniel began to do the same with Jacob, telling him not to hold back just because he was Amity and didn't want anyone hurt. "Oh don't worry, I won't," Jacob replied to him. He paused at looked to Natalia while speaking, "I'm going to take a note out of your book and try to show off as much as possible," he stated jokingly, dramatically winking at her. Daniel pushed him playfully as Natalia sat at the edge of the mat, "C'mon Amity, show me what you've got, impess me!" he told him.

Natalia watched them joke around for a moment, but they began to be serious as Daniel critiqued him as he had done with her. She took another moment to look at the other people in the room, realizing that three men in the workout area were watching them. She wondering for how long and narrowed her eyes; she was pretty sure that one of them was the man who had been sitting with Jackson and Eric the other day.

Eric. She wondered when he would be at training next; she assumed soon. Altough being a Dauntless leader was probably time-consuming, they controlled the security for the entire faction system. Being a leader, in general, was time-consuming. Her father had never been around, before William's death he tried to be, after he obviously didn't, but she knew Jeanine had never been either. She wasn't sure about Abnegation, but assumed so since they were the basic foundation of government for the factions, and knew that Johanna was the only leader in Amity because it was done by choice and they had volunteered.

Her father, she almost scoffed thinking about him. Natalia wondered if he even missed her? Probably not. Not that she cared all that much. She felt happy in Dauntless; she hadn't felt this happy since William was still alive. She wondered if he would be proud of her, hoped that he would. She felt a slight pang in her chest. When would she get to the point that thinking about him didn't hurt? She probably never would.

Would she have chosen Dauntless if he had been alive still? She and Matthew would still be Divergent. She assumed her brother would be supportive of their decision wherever they went. Maybe things would have been different. Perhaps her father could have learned to love her if he was still around. Probably, not that she cared much, but still. She scolded herself for being stuck on hypotheticals; it was silly to imagine how things could be rather than focusing on how they were.

"There they are!" Natalia glanced up to see Andrew and Matthew stalking into the room, Justin in tow. "Morning Tiger," he told her, helping her stand.

"Did you get a hit on him? His cheek is swollen," they heard Justin ask Jacob. He pointed to Natalia, "nope, she did!" Matthew raised his eyebrows at Natalia, who smirked at him and nodded her head. The boys began to talk and tease Daniel, Justin telling them they were supposed to meet the traininers soon and should head toward the pit.

They walked out the door, Natalia realizing that she was right about the man who had been sitting with Eric and Jackson. He nodded toward her and smiled charmingly, she was still smiling and talking with her friends but raised both of her eyebrows at him and continued to walk. His smile turned to a smirk as he went back to his conversation.

No one had seen, so they kept walking as the boys talked. Matthew walked with Natalia behind them a bit slower; she realized that he wanted to say something to her. She glanced at him, making a, 'tell me whats on your mind' look at him. He smiled, "how are you doing today?" he asked her as if he was unsure how she would answer.

"I'm good," she told him, "great actually, I think I'm getting the hang of things here at Dauntless. Into a sort of groove, I guess. I'm nervous about the upcoming fights, though, why?" she asked him.

He shook his head, "no reason I suppose." Something was off with him, but she couldn't quite pin it. Perhaps he was just worried about how she was, "I didn't get much sleep last night," she told him. He smiled, a genuine smile, "I am too, nervous for the fights. Although it seems like you'll do just fine." She smiled at him, "I just got lucky; you know that.."

"Mmmhmm," he told her and put his arm around her as they walked faster to catch up to their group.

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"Initiates! These are the scores you are at right now. Those of you who aren't in the top five on either list better start working harder, because you will get the shittiest jobs in Dauntless. I've seen the list of available positions, they are NOT great," Four said to the group of transfers and Dauntless-born initiates.

The crowd inched toward the board as the list came up, transfers on the left side, Dauntless-born on the right. Natalia considered the scores; they weren't all that surprising. They had only been in training seven days, however, and once they combined the lists she had a feeling she would go down in number quite a bit.

"These scores are decided on how you are responding to conditioning and training as of now," Lauren told them. "These will change once we begin fighting, and after the first week of fights you will begin to be ranked together."

TRANSFER INITIATES

1\. Jacob (Amity Born)

2\. Justin (Candor Born)

3\. Andrew (Erudite Born)

4\. Neil (Erudite Born)

5\. Stephen (Candor Born)

6\. Natalia (Candor Born)

7\. Alley (Candor Born)

8\. Matthew (Erudite Born)

9\. Melanie (Candor Born)

10\. Jameson (Candor Born)

11\. Madilyn (Erudite Born)

12\. Megan (Amity Born)

13\. Elizabeth (Erudite Born)

14\. Charlie (Candor Born)

15\. Shaun (Amity Born)

DAUNTLESS BORN INITIATES

1\. Thomas

2\. Callie

3\. Daniel

4\. Bronson

5\. Troy

6\. Rebecca

7\. Mac

8\. Jackson

9\. Vickie

10\. Jessica

11\. Todd

12\. Taylor

13\. Kylie

14\. Brock

15\. Gilbert

16\. David

17\. Tiffany

Natalia felt frustrated that she wasn't higher but doubted she ever would be. She heard the crowd whispering amongst themselves, "An Amity as first?" must have been a Dauntless-born, they didn't realize that both Jacob was not Amity anymore, and would be a force to be reckoned with once they began to fight. "Of course, Thomas is first, is there literally nothing you aren't good at man?" Natalia saw that it was the Dauntless-born boy named David that had spoken to him. Thomas only smiled confidentially and continued to watch the trainers.

"Of course, Thomas is first, is there literally nothing you aren't good at man?" Natalia saw that it was the Dauntless-born boy named David that had spoken to him. Thomas only smiled confidentially and continued to watch the trainers.

"Thomas's a leader's son. Chris, you know who that is? He barely spends time with the other initiates, even in training," Daniel was whispering to her friends. "That seems silly," Jacob said, "we may be competing for top spots, but Dauntless isn't as cut-throat as it used to be. It shouldn't be like that. We should be striving to work together."

Natalia scoffed, her friends looking to her. She shook her head; they obviously wanted her opinion, "Dauntless will never be like that, sorry to tell you, Jacob," she explained. "Damn, just look at him, his posture. The way he portrays himself. He seems cockier than you are Daniel," she continued. Daniel stuck his tongue at her.

"Um, he isn't better than me, I'll beat him," Mac stated simply. Daniel shoved him lightly, "bro you're below fucking Rebecca right now, and you think you can take first!? And pass me? HAH!" The two best friends began teasing each other lightly, ignoring the trainers completely. "Let's go, right now Dani, I'll take you!" Mac got in a fighting stance, a huge grin taking over his face.

"HEY, KNOCK IT OFF!" the boys turned to the leaders, Uriah had been the one to yell at them, who was still smiling. He was obviously the least intense of the trainers.

Lauren spoke above the initiates, this time, obviously annoyed. "Four is right. There are few desirable jobs this year." She paused as she scanned the crowd, landing on a few of the Dauntless-born initiates that were standing behind Thomas and whispering among one another. "Don't forget that even if you chose a good job, if you aren't in the top ten, you can still be denied the job you wanted and assigned a different one."

The crowd went silent. A candor born named Alley, who was standing next to Elizabeth, spoke up, "are you serious?" A few heads snapped to her, Lauren moved her intense stare toward the voice and raised her eyebrows. Alley continued, "I thought we were given the positions that we chose, regardless of our place?"

"Unless you are in the top ten, you'll get whatever job position we tell you that you get," Four spoke up beside Lauren. "And once you are in these posts, you can still be removed from them. Keep your mouth shut Candor," he snapped.

The trainers then told them that for that day they were to go on a run through town, past the fence line near the Abnegation sector to meet up with other Dauntless before touring an area of the gates. They had a stopping point at a building just before the sector, which Natalia had run by a few times in the past.

Natalia was smiling ear to ear; she couldn't help it. She was finally allowed to run outside! Granted, it was where they told her to go, and she probably was expected to keep the same pace as one of the trainers, but still nice!

"Alright, everyone, especially those who are not in good shape, still need to keep up with the group. The last thing I want to deal with is one of you getting lost or hurt," Four told them sternly, "especially since I probably won't bother to find you, or help you, got it?" The group mumbled, a few of them complaining about having to run.

As four and Lauren began to start off Natalia jogged toward the front of the group, Matthew telling her he was going to keep a slower pace with Andrew for now and that she could go ahead. She wasn't about to argue. As they jogged the group was relatively silent, but she felt herself getting annoyed as she was right behind Four and Lauren, with Thomas in tow. After around five minutes Four turned around and jogged backward, "you two can go ahead if you know where you are going."

As they jogged the group was relatively silent, but she felt herself getting annoyed as she was right behind Four and Lauren, with Thomas in tow. After around five minutes Four turned around and jogged backward, "you two can go ahead if you know where you are going."

Natalia did in fact, know where she was going and began to run ahead of them without answering before Four changed his mind. She felt Thomas following closely behind her. She ignored him.

Silence. Pure, silence, and pure pure bliss. She could let her thoughts run wild and the anxiety she'd felt that week dissipate. She loved running.

The two of them continued to run silently, until miles later, Natalia noticed as they got closer to their marker point. Thomas was slowing down and had begun panting heavier than before. Perhaps he was the best, but not when it came to running. She barely felt tired; she knew that this was a pace that was right for her.

She felt Thomas catch up to her until he was running next to her as they rounded a corner and got on the street where the large building was. It was at an old intersection, so she saw a small crowd of Dauntless in the streets. As they jogged up to the group, a few men acknowledged Thomas as if he was a close friend. From what Daniel had said earlier, he probably was. The men gave them both a water bottle; she received a few glances from the men, but they didn't speak to her.

She didn't care much anyways about gaining their attention, as she had turned her attention to the crowd of around a dozen Dauntless members, realizing Jackson and Eric were among them. Thomas spoke to his friends then walked toward the other group confidentially, apparently knowing Natalia would follow, acknowledged by more of the Dauntless members respectfully as they walked by.

Something bothered her about Thomas though, he was cocky, rightly so, and she was used to that in Candor, but it seemed different. Sort of like how Erudite believes so many were dirt under their shoes.

"Natalia, Thomas" Jackson drawled to her, nodding to Thomas who folded his arms confidentially with a smile. Natalia nodded to him, looking around the group. Her eyes landed on Eric, who had been glaring at her. Of course, he was, she kept her features neutral. She didn't even want to know what he was pissed about now. Probably nothing in particular, just angry as always.

She turned her head to look at the old buildings; she wondered what sort of job William would have chosen. Possibly working at the gates, or even dealing with factionless. He had been kind, although brave, so perhaps those would be jobs he would actually like. was too energetic to work in Dauntless as an artist, shopkeeper, or anywhere else running the faction, but she knew he would never have wanted to be in a control room or a superior position either. That hadn't been his style.

William had been too energetic to work in Dauntless as an artist, shopkeeper, or anywhere else running the faction, but she knew he would never have wanted to be in a control room or a superior position either. That just hadn't been his style.

After a bit few other initiates had begun to arrive, Natalia looked back to see Matthew and Andrew jogging while talking. Elizabeth and one of her friends, Natalia didn't remember the girl's name but knew she was from Dauntless, weren't far behind them. She knew Matthew and Andrew would find her first.

Some of the men were stretching, Jackson began telling Thomas that after the tour of some of the gate they were going to race back to Dauntless in groups of two. The initiates that came in first got a special something when they got back; he winked at Natalia.

Natalia knew that Matthew could keep pace with her if she forced him to, so perhaps they may actually do something well in Dauntless? Her thought was interrupted by Thomas, "guess that means you, and I are in for a surprise, huh?" He stated confidentially.

She waited for a moment. Oh, he was talking to her. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, giving him a questioning look. He thought they were going to team up? "We were both the first ones here," he told her in a judgmental way as if she were stupid. She wasn't stupid, and didn't really care if they had gotten their first, she'd rather have run alone anyways.

"You barely kept up with me," she told him nonchalantly. His eyes widened, "You're joking me?" The men around them let out a few laughs and "oohs," and began to jeer one another a bit.

"No. You may be fast, but you obviously can't run long distances. You don't have enough stamina," she continued and shrugged, saying it as if it were a fact. Which it was. Her Candor side was obviously taking over. The comment received a few more oohs and laughs from around them, the other small group looking over to them curiously as the other initiates arrived.

"I can assure you," Thomas stated as she turned to walk away, "my stamina, is just fine." Jackson began to laugh, as well as few others. Thomas stood straighter and folded his arms.

She hadn't meant it in that way, but if that's how he wanted to take it, then by all means he could do so. She didn't care; she walked away not saying anything. Hearing a few laughs and jeers again, Thomas saying something along the lines of, "fuck her."

Andrew was chugging a water bottle as she walked over. "What was that all about," Matthew asked her, barely short of breath whereas Andrew was panting after drinking. "Nothing worth mentioning," she told them. As others began to arrive she told them they were to run back in pairs, Andrew is saying he'd find someone, mentioning that he hated running but assuming correctly that Matthew could keep pace with her.

Once most of the initiates had arrived, as well as their trainers and were talking amongst themselves and some Dauntless. The crowd had moved nearer to each other, so she wasn't far from where Jackson had moved and was talking to a few others.

She overheard someone ask him why he and Eric had the day off instead of the meetings they were supposed to have that week. "Oh, I guess some of the Erudite and Candor leaders take this day off every year," he told them. "I don't really care, all I know is..." she tuned him out after that, realization hitting her like a brick wall.

She looked at the ground, narrowing her eyes. She had forgotten. She never forgot. Is that why Matthew had been questioning her earlier? Seeing if she was alright? Now she wasn't alright. How could she be so stupid?

She had forgotten her birthday. She was eighteen now.

She never forgot. She HATED her birthday.

Her father HATED her birthday.

She only celebrated them with William before. Well.. Her last celebrated birthday was her fourteenth. She only did something because William and his friends drug her out. It had ended up being an interesting night for her.. Michael had given her his old guitar.. among other things. She didn't want to think about that, though. It would only upset her.

"Hey, Natalia what's wrong?" she heard Mac ask her, worry in his voice. She didn't want to tell them; she looked up to Matthew, who had a realization on his face as well and nudged her away from the group quickly. He told them she was probably just tired and would be fine. His smile charming, as always.

"I feel like an idiot. I didn't even remember until I overheard Jackson saying that some of the other faction leaders take this day off", she paused, "damn it," she said loudly. She sat down on the curb and looked up to him. He didn't reply to her for a moment. "Matthew?" she demanded, loud enough this time that her friends and a few others glanced over.

He looked hurt, but lost in thought, as if he were contemplating just what to say to her. She lowered her voice again, "you know I'm not keen on being honest all the time, but today? Matt-"

"No," he interrupted her, 'I shouldn't have told you." She stared at her cousin. "I didn't tell you. And I don't feel sorry for not telling you." What the fuck did he mean he shouldn't have? She glared at him.

"Natalia, this is the first birthday I have ever seen you this happy," he told her, exasperated. He paused and looked at her. She waited for him to say more.

"You barely celebrated birthdays when William was alive.." She continued to stare at him, "Seriously Natalia; we don't celebrate holidays in Erudite, but Candor does. Dauntless does too. I was worried last night that you'd have a terrible day but today when I first saw you, I knew you had forgotten. You just seemed like you were having a good day, so I didn't bother telling you yet. I didn't know for sure if it was because you didn't know or if for once you just decided to be happy and not give a shit about what your father thought. But either way, I was just so glad to see a smile on your face." He was rambling, apparently afraid of her being angry with him.

"You've been through so much Natalia, I drug you here to Dauntless.." he paused. "I don't want you to be mad at you Natalia, but I'm not sorry for not bringing it up. I won't apologize, and I just hope you won't stay angry with me."

Was she angry with him? Yes.. No? It was hard to be mad at Matthew. He was her best friend. Her cousin, but more like a brother to her than anything. She was angrier at herself. She felt like an idiot. Not just for forgetting, but because she realized he was right. She had let her father control a day that should have been happy.

When she didn't reply Matthew sighed and continued to ramble, which was unlike him. "Natalia, your birthday has always been a reminder of your mom dying when she gave birth to you, I know that," Matthew told her as if he were reading her thoughts. "It's beyond unfair. It wasn't your fault and your father. My mother.. They have always acted as it was, -"

"Stop. Please," she told him. "Please just stop. I'm not angry with you." He stared at her, "we've only been here for a week," he told her. "I know that isn't long, but you just seem so happy here. You seem like you enjoy it here, do you?" Yes. She did. Being at Dauntless reminded her of how things used to be, but not in a way that pained her like when she thought about William, but in a way that made her strive to be like her brother.

The problem she had with Dauntless is that she still felt herself thinking like an Erudite, and paying attention to body language like a Candor. Neither was bad, fore-say, but she was afraid it was getting in the way of her training. They were to begin fighting in the next few weeks, and there was no way she could beat so many of these people.

She had been working out with the others, but her muscle mass wasn't as big as everyone else. She had always had an athletic build, but she was more of a runner, not a fighter. She only saves and grace was going to be the fear simulations, or when they began learning how to use weapons.

As she was to reply to her cousin, but Four gathered their attention to tell them what they were to do for the day, as she looked up to their trainers her eyes caught Eric's again, who was looking at her emotionless, but not glaring, for once. A few others had been glancing their way curiously as well.

She shook them off and walked toward her friends with Matthew, who told them that her lack of sleep was finally hitting her. Mac made a comment in regards to "her time of the month," receiving a punch in the arm from Callie and a few laughs from around them.

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Matthew and Natalia were around a half of a mile from the Dauntless compound when Matthew told her that they should race the rest of the run. Natalia laughed at him, "RIGHT! Like you can beat me!?" Matthew grinned and pointed to sign ahead, "we'll stop there and count to three."

They did, and Natalia ran as fast as she possibly could, Matthew keeping up with her most of the way. She was energized by this action, though and raced ahead of him with all the might she could muster.

As she arrived and ran through the door of the hallway, toward the training room. As she slowed and jogged through the door, she began laughing and turned around to see her cousin jog in shortly after her. She walked backward with a smile on her face. He stopped and leaned over, putting his hand on his knees, panting heavily.

Natalia paused during her smile at her cousin to realize a few Dauntless members were waiting for them, some looking surprised that the two of them had run through the door first. She knew the others had to have been at least a minute or two behind.

Among them were Max and Andrea. She wondered why the leaders weren't attending to matters elsewhere. She knew that the leaders were more involved in training than other factions, but didn't expect to see them all so soon. Andrea grinned at them, Max only nodded in their direction and turned his attention to the men around them.

"Natalia! Natalia's cousin!" she turned to the sound of Scotty's voice, only to realize that he was with Tristan and a few of their friends.

Natalia nodded Matthew towards them. "Matthew," Matthew told them annoyingly, "Natalia's cousin's name is Matthew." He folded his arms as Natalia hid her smirk from him. "My bad man," Scotty explained, "I'm super terrible with names."

Once the rest of the group had arrived, they gathered around with the other Dauntless and listened to the trainers tell them the places of each group. Their friends had cheered and whooped for them upon hearing that they were first. Thomas had come in second with another Dauntless-born, Bronson, who glared at her when their names were announced. She ignored him and paid her attention to the leaders and trainers.

At the end of the discussion, Four explained that they were done for the day and would have the rest of the day to themselves. Max spoke as well, "from what we've heard about initiation this year; we have decided to make a few changes to training. You will begin to learn fighting techniques tomorrow, with fighting starting the following day. A few other Dauntless will be joining you, Eric," he motioned to his fellow leader, "Troye," he motioned to him, "as well as a few of the superior gate guards that are being released from their guard rotations early to help as well."

Murmurs came from the crowd of initiates, "Told you so," Daniel whispered to Mac, who nudged him in return.

"As Four said, you will have the rest of the night off," Max explained dismissively. "Oh, and before I forget," his eyes scanned the crowd until they fell to Natalia. Shit, she thought. "Three of our initiates turn eighteen during training, today is one of those days," he explained nodding to Natalia. He had to know that calling attention to her birthday wasn't what she wanted. The look on his face showed that he was doing it to intentionally bother her, "if you do choose to celebrate with Natalia, I recommend you use your time wisely so that you aren't tired of training tomorrow. You're dismissed!"

"Shit," she heard Matthew say quietly as her friends gasped and nudged her, surprised at the news that it had been her birthday. She glared toward the leader who smirked at her; she glared toward Eric who was staring expressionlessly. He wasn't an idiot; he probably knew that she had been upset because she had forgotten. She felt like such a fucking idiot.

The crowd around them began to move around, a few men glancing toward them."What the fuck Natalia!?" Mac shouted to her. A few of their friends nodded in approval of the statement, others in the crowd stopping to watch. "Seriously Natalia, we're your friends," Callie said as if she were offended. "Are we not good enough to know it's your birthday and celebrate it with you?" she continued.

Natalia looked at them as they waited for an answer, she signed and closed her eyes. "She-" Matthew began, interrupted by Callie who continued her rant. "Don't stick up for her pretty-boy! We get it, the three of you," she motioned to Andrew and the two cousins, "are obviously the only ones who knew. Andrew shook his head, the group realizing he hadn't known either.

"You don't understand," Matthew began to explain again. "What? What do we not understand?" Callie demanded. "She's from Candor right? They celebrate birthdays, right? You just think we aren't good enough," she focussed the question toward Justin.

Fuck this. Natalia couldn't believe this was the reaction she was receiving from her "friends," as if she intentionally didn't tell them because they weren't good enough to know? What a fucking joke. She turned and walked away, shoving a few Dauntless members that had stopped to watch out of her way.

"Her mom died giving birth to her right?" she heard Justin ask, probably Matthew. She didn't bother to listen to him explain, and just stormed off toward the dorms. She needed a shower. So much for the run lifting her spirits, it had, but only for a moment. Fuck she hated her god damn birthday.


	18. Chapter 18 (Eric's POV)

**I told you I would update quickly! :] If you've been waiting for Natalia and Eric to finally have a conversation alone, the next chapter will be for you! I plan to post it by tomorrow night.. I Hope you enjoy this one in the meantime! **

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Eric's POV

The past five days had been a nightmare for Eric. He was driving back from his extended stay at Amity. Finally. The first day he had been at Amity went smoothly, but the second evening the weather had turned sour. The storm had lasted until that day, so he had been stuck at Amity for a day extra than originally planned. That extra day had been about four days more than he could handle.

Max and Andrea hadn't been able to come to their compound on the third day as planned as well. The power had cut out three times, and communication on his tablet had been too fuzzy for pretty much any communication with Dauntless. He needed to shoot something or someone.

He jumped out of the truck and slammed the door, realizing he'd stepped out into a massive pile of mud. Fucking great. As if his mood wasn't sour enough. He stormed to the keypad to open the garage's door, cursing Dauntless for not fixing it so he didn't have to get out of the damn truck every damn time, as he had demanded since he'd become a leader.

Just another thing in Dauntless that wasn't up to his standards. He wished he could find an assistant that wasn't a complete fucking moron. He would have only had to have planned on two days instead of four. Perhaps he could have left immediately before the storm if he had his shit more together and someone else to help him. FUCK.

He parked the car and jumped out of it, slamming the door again, grabbing his large travel backpack, and stomping toward the door where Jackson was smirking at him. Eric kicked his muddy feet against the door frame, slinging mud on Jackson's shoes, who cursed at him. Eric glared back and told him to fuck off.

He continued storming into the compound, making it as clear as he possibly could that he wanted to left alone. Jackson followed anyways. As they exited the stairway into the central hallway, they passed a few members who moved quickly out of Eric's way.

Good. They got the fucking message. Jackson would get it too. Jackson stopped and yelled at him, "Max wanted you to stop by for a briefing before-" Eric cut him off and turned quickly to glare at his fellow leader, "NO," he snapped. Jackson folded his arms annoyingly, "whatever man, you can deal with him." Jackson waved him off with a middle finger and walked the other way.

Eric made his way to his apartment, quickly changing into training clothing and making his way toward the shooting range. He grabbed a gun and a few packs of ammo and lost himself in shooting the targets. After a long time had passed, he felt less stressed, but barely.

Shooting usually helped, but perhaps he needed to punch a few things as well. He cleaned up and checked his targets before leaving; he'd hit every mark, as always. For some reason, he didn't feel proud and confident as he usually would have. He knew the best shooter in Dauntless, even better than Max, there was no doubt about it.

Max. Fucking Max! Making him go to Amity for so fucking long. He had to have known what Eric was going to be dealing with. Factionless had been breaking into their supplies, cutting off security cameras, and even injuring a few of their members. It was horseshit. He needed to put stricter security at their compound, but it didn't help that half the fucking time the guards that got put out in that sector decided to partake in peace serum or cannabis.

Fucking stupid ass Dauntless. He'd handed it to a few of them while he was there for it but knew that wasn't the cause of the problems. They were just short-handed. They didn't have enough men to cover the gates, the entire compound, all of their supplies, and their large areas of land. Even if they put every fucking low ranking initiate this year there, they wouldn't have enough.

Max didn't know exactly how to handle it; he'd taken away some of the security from Erudite. When he did that, Jeanine flipped a bitch. He took some away from Candor, but Kang wasn't happy about it either. He took some from Abnegation, who had no complaints and encouraged them to take more since it was "better for the largest amount of people." The problem with that was that Abnegation still ran the government and still needed more protection than every other faction since they were right next to the largest factionless sector.

It was a fucking shit show that Eric hadn't wanted to deal with, but that was his job. He stormed toward the punching bags, realizing that his thoughts had brought him straight to the smallest of the gyms at Dauntless. He was relieved to see that no one else was there. He wrapped his wrists and knuckles and took out every piece of anger he had in the bag. His knuckles quickly became numb.

After awhile he felt his anger peak, remembering the hassle of having to re-examine every aspect of Amity's security system completely. He would have to go back shortly to go through their camera system with some of the Dauntless's and Erudite's security experts.

He hoped Four would be too busy to join them, who basically ran the control room and the access to all of the cameras in Dauntless. He had been working with other factions recently, probably because of encouragement from his awful girlfriend, Tris. He scoffed, what a wonderful fucking pair, the two stiffs were made for each other.

Eric felt himself getting angry again, about a matter that wasn't even important anymore. The fact that Four had basically gotten away with fucking an initiate while training. He'd gotten nothing more than a slap on the wrist from Max. Fucking horseshit.

If Eric had tried breaking a rule like that, he was sure Max would ream him and punish him relentlessly for a year to follow. Not that there were any initiates he'd ever waste his time fucking. Not even if one of them was attractive as shit, like Natalia.

Fucking fuck. Why had he thought about Natalia just then? He hadn't thought about her since he left Dauntless on their second day of training.

That disrespectful girl who spoke back to her superiors, who for some god damn reason didn't like her father, and from her body language at the meeting with Max that she didn't like her aunt much either.

The one who had that cousin of hers, who looked like he could be her brother, watching every move she made, like a god damn mother hen.

The one who was only Candor-like a small portion of the time seemed to be deadly smart and from what he'd heard about Erudite's screening and test scores, was.

The one with the blonde hair like he loved, and the bright blue eyes that he could never quite read..

The one, from what he'd seen her first night at dinner, didn't like being touched, which made him want to test if that was true for everyone.. Or if he could get away with it.

The one who loved coffee like he did.. And had that ass that would be so much fun to.. Well.. Perhaps that would be how he'd test if she'd let him touch her.

FUCK. Eric punched the bag as hard as he could. He couldn't think like this. He needed to get laid; that was it. He was bored with the women here, and that's why he was thinking like this. He needed to focus on the terrible things about her. That she was just a disrespectful little-spoiled shit, who needed to be trained to be a Dauntless soldier. She looked just like a younger version of Jeanine, who was fucking awful. If he thought of her like Jeanine, maybe he'd stop imagining what it'd be like to grab her ass. Or pin her against a wall. Or see her on her knees in front of him.

He was bored with the women here, and that's why he was thinking like this. He needed to focus on the terrible things about her. That she was just a disrespectful little spoiled shit, who needed to be trained to be a Dauntless soldier. She looked just like a younger version of Jeanine, who was fucking awful. If he thought of her like Jeanine, maybe he'd stop imagining what it'd be like to grab her ass. Or pin her against a wall. Or see her on her knees in front of him.

Eric grabbed the bag and growled at himself. He was acting like a fucking moron, letting the past few days of shitty bright annoying faces fuck with his reality. He looked down as his hands, realizing that wrapping his knuckles had done nothing, as they were bloody and swollen. He shook his head and made his way to his apartment for a freezing cold shower; he needed to get laid. That would get that fucking girl and her perky tits out of his head. He groaned at the thought. This week would never fucking end. After showering, a waive of exhaustion had hit him like a bag of bricks. Instead of making his way to the bar or to see Max. He crawled into his large bed, quickly falling asleep with not another thought about fucking the girl he hadn't been able to get off his mind, regardless of a cold shower.

He shook his head and made his way to his apartment for a freezing cold shower; he needed to get laid. That would get that fucking girl and her perky tits out of his head. He groaned at the thought. This week would never fucking end. After showering, a wave of exhaustion had hit him like a bag of bricks. Instead of making his way to the bar or to see Max. He crawled into his large bed, quickly falling asleep with not another thought about fucking the girl he hadn't been able to get off his mind, regardless of a cold shower.

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Eric stood with the group of Dauntless, staying near Jackson and ignoring just about everyone else. They had been waiting for the initiates to show up from their run to tour the fence. Jackson had turned up at his door this morning, explaining that Max had forgotten that their meetings were canceled for the day. He expected them both to take a group of Dauntless out for the day with the initiates. Some bull shit about spending more time with his faction members and being more involved with not just the initiates, but them as well.

He rolled his eyes as he listened to Troye tell yet another story about another girl he'd fucked the night before. That man always seemed to have a story to tell his friends. Jackson laughed along with them. About half way through the story they silenced a bit as they realized initiates as shown up.

Thomas was in the lead, as expected. Well, not necessarily in lead, as Natalia was running with him, well a bit ahead of him. She barely broke a sweat and looked as if she had gone on a short brisk walk, not a run.

Eric knew he could find another way to make her sweat. He passed the thought to the back of his brain and focused back on the group he was standing with until Thomas and Natalia made their way toward the group.

"Natalia, Thomas" Jackson drawled to the two initiates, nodding to Thomas who folded his arms confidentially with a smile. Natalia nodded back toward him, then focused her eyes on Eric. He felt goosebumps when her bright blue eyes landed on his. He continued his glare toward her but felt a strange pang of disappointment when she looked away emotionlessly.

He barely paid attention to Jackson's conversation, continuing to glance at Natalia who was examining the buildings around her as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. He thought he saw he eyes show a bit of sadness in them, but it disappearing quickly.

He found himself curious since he usually had a hard time reading her. He wished he could tell what was going through her mind. He didn't understand why the fuck he cared, though. She was attractive, a bit mysterious, but wasn't that it?

He saw her cousin and his friend Andrew arrive behind her, Natalia glancing back to see who had shown up. Her lips twitched as if she were going to smile at the sight of her friends. The men around them began to stretch slowly as Jackson told the initiates in front of him what their plans were.

Again Jackson was flirting with Natalia, and winking at her. Eric felt himself anger.

What, the actual, fuck. What was wrong with him? Why was he getting angry at Jackson about something so fucking stupid?

Thomas turned to the blonde flirtatiously smirking, "guess that means you, and I are in for a surprise, huh?" He had asked her confidentially as if it wasn't a question, but a statement. He watched as Thomas checked her out as he waited for her response. She hadn't answered immediately as if she was confused at the assumption. She raised her eyebrow at him, Thomas tilting his head and narrowing his eyes at her.

"We were both the first ones here," Thomas told her. He had said it as if Natalia was a fucking moron, in a way that Eric would have said it to her. Eric knew that she wasn't, and probably wouldn't like the assumption.

Eric was surprised that she acted opposite of how she had in Max's office the other night. "You barely kept up with me," she told Thomas in a way that made it seem as if she didn't give two fucks about his opinion. Eric almost laughed, but kept his composure and continued to glare toward the blonde.

Thomas's eyes widened upon the response, "you're joking me?" he asked her. Eric realized that more men around him were paying attention to the conversation than he had thought as many laughed and made "oohs," toward the initiates.

Natalia continued her "I don't give a fuck" act. "No. You may be fast, but you obviously can't run long distances. You don't have enough stamina," she shrugged as she said it and began to walk away. Eric couldn't stop a small smirk from showing on his face, but he knew no one had seen it.

The small group listening in continued to laugh and jeer Thomas as he'd replied to her. "I can assure you, my stamina, is just fine."

Jackson cracked up, as well as few others. Eric let his smirk show as he watched the girl walk away. Fucking christ he needed a photo of her backside... He turned back to Thomas, who stood straighter and folded his arms.

"Fuck her," Thomas stated, to no one in particular. Jackson laughed again and teased him a bit more.

Eric would be happy to take care of that for him.

"Don't mind if I do," Jackson said, gaining a chuckle from a few people around them, Jackson in particular. Obviously, he hadn't listened to Eric when they had spoken at the beginning of the week.

Troye patted his friend on the back, "Can we share, though?" A few more men laughed. Eric glared at the two of them.

"Oh come on Eric, lighten up!" Jackson told him, "no one is going to try anything until she's a full fletched Dauntless!" he exclaimed, motioning for the few men to nod in agreement. Troye crossed his arms. "That's an old rule! No one even follows it," Troye stated.

Eric continued to glare at the two of them, Jackson shaking his head at Troye. Eric didn't bother. They knew he'd rip them apart for breaking the rules; they weren't stupid enough to cross him, joking aside.

"Oh hey, that reminds me!" one of Troye's friends said to Jackson. "Why do all of the leaders have the day off? You were just telling me that this was one of the busiest times of the year for every faction?" Eric didn't know the answer and assumed Max would tell him when he saw him later. He still owed him a meeting.

"I don't really care, all I know is that I have the day off, and I plan to use it to get drunk tonight," Jackson told him, ignoring the glare from Eric. He saw a movement from where Natalia had gone to meet up with her friends. She had walked away from the group, he cousin following her like a dog.

Eric couldn't quite tell since they were at least 15, maybe 20 feet away, but it seemed as if she had gone pale. He wondered if she were sick?

Not that he cared, but he knew he'd have to hear about Four and Uriah bitching to Max if one initiate got the rest of them sick. If that were the case, she needed to see medical immediately.

Eric watched as she sat down on the curb, looking up at her cousin. He could tell that her cousin looked concerned about her. Eric thought about how similar they both looked to his old faction leader. He had known Matthew as a child, but seeing him with Natalia, grown up, the resemblance in the family was uncanny. He wondered if he'd ever stop seeing Jeanine in the two of them.

That is if they even made it into Dauntless.

"Matthew!" Eric could hear her from where he was, but he doubted the others were paying attention enough to notice. He tried to make it seem as if he wasn't watching them. As Matthew begun to speak to her, he could tell that he was upset about something.

So perhaps she wasn't sick? Matthew continued to speak to her in a hushed voice. "Looks like a family argument," Jackson stated. Eric glanced at him with a look to show he couldn't give two shits about their little argument. He looked back, realizing that Natalia was replying to him. Four spoke up, calling over the initiates, and the two cousins began to pay their attention to him.

Natalia stood. As she did Eric caught her eyes. Not intentionally. Those bright blue eyes? No of course not intentionally.

Emotionless. That's how her blue eyes looked as they barely paused on him and moved on. And for some reason, Eric didn't like it.

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As Eric arrived in the truck back to the compound to meet the rest of the members, he thanked Max for letting the leaders skip the run back with the initiates. He didn't like running much, and doing it with other people was fucking awful. He and Jackson walked toward the training room silently. Eric hadn't said much of anything after the trainers had begun to show the initiates around the gates.

As they arrived, he realized that most of the initiates had arrived. He nodded to Max, hoping that he wouldn't bring up the fact that Eric had basically blown him off the day before. He didn't. Once Uriah began to announce the winners, Eric realized that Max is ignoring him probably wasn't a good thing. He looked like he was having a perfectly fine day, though, so perhaps he'd let it slide.

Uriah announced the winners, Max humming when he heard that Matthew and Natalia had come in first. Chris looked more pissed than his son about coming in second place.

Eric wasn't all that surprised; he knew Natalia was a runner and assumed her cousin could keep a steady pace with her, although he looked much more tired than her. Perhaps her stamina was much higher; a thought that seemed to peak Eric's interest very much. Yet again, he told himself that he needed to get laid immediately so these fucking thoughts could stop..

Thinking back to Erudite, Eric remembered the days of perfectly portioned meals for optimum health, and the perfect amount of exercise for a normal healthy routine. Everything was so routine and perfect in Erudite.

In Dauntless it was good to be muscular and bulky, and could do whatever the fuck he wanted to his body. That was the real reason he had covered his arms, chest, neck, and back in tattoos. The real reason he had so many piercings. He hadn't been trying to fit in once he was Dauntless or a leader. He was just glad to have the freedom to make choices like that for himself.

Eric thought back to what Natalia had said to Max in his office, about how in Dauntless both she and Matthew could choose to be whatever they wanted. He could understand that completely. Not that he'd ever tell her that.

God, Erudite. The faction had begun to drive him mad, as it still controlled him even if he wished it didn't. His upbringing showed in everything he did. The way he ate, the way he kept his office and apartment tidy, the bookshelves that lined his shelves, full of not just Dauntless-styled books on fighting and weapons, but with classic literature and poetry he had managed to get his hands on.

Not that anyone knew about that, no one but Max had ever been in his apartment, and even then he kept those bookshelves in his bedroom, which no one had seen, and probably never would.

Eric snapped out of his thoughts once Max began to talk. He turned his full attention to his leader, "as Four said, you will have the rest of the night off," Max explained to them. Eric noted his tone, portraying that what he was to say would be short and probably not-so-sweet. He watched as a slight smirk came to Max's lips.

"Oh, and before I forget," Eric followed Max's eyes on the crowd, he was looking at Natalia. The "surprise?" perhaps? "Three of our initiates turn eighteen during training; today is one of those days," oh. Eric had forgotten that her birthday was this week with how busy he'd been. He hadn't really cared much anyways.

Max continued with his mischievous smile, interesting.. "if you do choose to celebrate with Natalia, I recommend you use your time wisely so that you aren't tired of training tomorrow. You're dismissed!"

Natalia glared at her leader scathingly; her friends seemed surprised. Matthew looked concerned again; Eric thought that was becoming a regular look for him. So she hadn't wanted anyone to know it was her birthday, why? Candor celebrated birthdays..?

Natalia caught Eric's eyes again. Eric found himself liking the fact that they weren't emotionless as they had been earlier. He wanted to look at them for longer, but her friends gathered her attention and Max demanded him to follow, so he did.

..

..

..

"I get it, Eric, it was awful" Max exclaimed, annoyed already with Eric's bitching. "I'm not sure what the fuck you want me to do?" he asked the young leader accusingly. "You can't work with any other faction, and you can't keep a fucking assistant that can help you out with the load of work at Amity!"

Max shook his head as Eric glared at the wall. Eric should have known this would happen when he had drug him into his office and only motioned for Eric to start speaking. He hated arguing with Max, but he was pissed off after the week he'd had and had jumped at the opportunity. "Do you want me to ask Chris if he will let Thomas work with you?" Max asked him. Eric shook his head; that little shit was cocky as hell, and regardless of how Dauntless he was he knew he'd drive him up the wall enough for him to be murdered.

Max put his head in his hands, "Eric. This is your fucking job. Deal with it!" Eric glared toward his leader, the man he looked up to. He was right, he knew that, but he was still pissed off.

Eric didn't bother saying more; he had made his point. He waited for Max to say something. Instead, he sighed and paused for a moment, staring up at the wall. Something was wrong.

"You don't even know how fucking stressed I am right now Eric," Max explained to him. Eric raised his eyebrow, waiting for more of an explanation. "Tina wants to take time off sooner than I thought and I have no fucking idea how I am going to handle it! I don't think Thomas can handle helping us immediately, regardless of what Chris says he is capable of."

Eric was surprised that Max was so worried, Max always knew how to handle his shit and hadn't realized that he relied on his assistant so much. Max had joked about it, countless times, but Eric hadn't believed he was that serious. He also hadn't realized how stressed the leader was. Max pause

"She's pregnant," Max said, putting his head in his hands again, "fucking pregnant." Eric narrowed his eyes at him; he was saying it like Eric had no idea. "I know she is Max..." Eric stated, confused at the way he had stated it.

"No no," Max said, looking up to Eric, "Not Tina, obviously Tina fucking is." Max paused again, "My wife. My fucking wife!" Eric was shocked, more so that Max had basically growled the statement as if he were angry. A congratulation was obviously not going to do.

Felt himself no longer as angry as he had been before. "You're obviously no happy about it," Eric told him, waiting for more of an explanation. Max glared at the wall behind Eric and folded his arms, "Yeah, I wish," he stated unhappily. There was a moment of silence between them; Max was older, but not too old to be a father. Eric knew he didn't hate kids; he'd seen them with Dauntless kids before.

"It can't be mine," Max stated. Well, fuck. Fucking fuck. "Are you fucking joking me?" Eric asked him. Max shook his head angrily, arms still folded, "Nope. Seven weeks along," he explained. Eric thought for a moment; Max looked at him knowing that he could click that together.

Seven weeks ago... Him and Eric had been with Chris in and out of Candor for a few days, Abnegation for one, then in Amity for another couple. They had been in and out of Dauntless enough to barely catch more than a few hours of sleep every night for more than a week. That had to be the time frame he meant. That was only a week, though, so unless he knew that she had cheated on him.

"She's been fucking a few different guys for awhile now," he told Eric, knowing he had already figured that out. "I've been too busy to care all that much," Max stated it as if it hurt him, but that he knew it was a matter that was out of his hands. Eric nodded, not knowing what to say.

"I can't really blame her you know," he explained to Eric. "I'm gone a lot, and when I'm not, I'm here in my ffice working, or somewhere in Dauntless fixing something. It never bothered her before, but I guess in the last year or two it has."Eric nodded as he listened to his leader. "Before Tina volunteered to take over Ralph's position a few years ago I asked her to do it. I figured maybe that would help us, but she said she'd hate it. There isn't much I can do now about it."

Eric nodded as he listened to his leader. "Before Tina volunteered to take over Ralph's position a few years ago I asked her to do it. I figured maybe that would help us, but she said she'd hate being an assistant. There isn't much I can do now about it."

Eric continued to look at his leader, the man who always found a way to fix anything. The force to be reckoned with that kept Dauntless intact. The man who had confided in Eric in the past, but not like this. It was unlike him to show emotions like this, even to Eric, who was closer to him than most. Eric

Eric felt frustrated again, that this woman had affected Max like this, and taken advantage of him. Max was a good man, a better man than anyone he'd ever met. He didn't deserve this.

Shit like this was why Eric didn't believe in love because it led to nothing but pain and suffering. Monogamy is unrealistic, and Eric had never bothered trying to pretend it wasn't.

Max, however, he knew had loved his wife and had for a long time. They had been in initiation together, and from what he'd heard, Max had never cheated, despite many opportunities.

"I think we both need to get drunk," Eric stated and stood up. Max chuckled at him, "I've been drinking in my office all morning. Since I found out," he told him. "I only finished the bottle a few minutes before leaving to the initiates," Max motioned toward the large empty bourbon bottle in the trash. "Days like today made me wish I was a lightweight," he joked with Eric.

How had the fuck Eric not realized that something was wrong? He supposed he had been too angry when he'd stormed into bother paying attention. Max was good at containing his emotions, as many Dauntless men were. He mentally scolded himself for being so stupid and forced his leader out of the room and toward the bar...


	19. Chapter 19 (Eric & Natalia's POV)

Eric's POV

Eric had managed to get Max very drunk, very quickly. It had taken a lot of alcohol, and a lot of encouragement from the rest of the bar. Eric and Jackson helped Max stumble to his apartment. Eric was happy to find it empty and helped his leader toward his bedroom. He realized that most of his wife's things were missing from the apartment, she must have left that day. Jackson didn't seem to notice.

"Damn dude, I have NEVER seen boss-man get that drunk!" Jackson stated at as they left his apartment. "Seriously, I've never seen YOU encourage him like that, or anyone for that matter!" he told Eric. Eric only smirked and grabbed the bottle of Bourbon from Jackson and walked toward the pit.

"Eric!" Jackson and Eric both turned to see who had called the leader. Eric scowled, Marina. He had enough to be quite buzzed, but not enough to deal with her yet. If he were drunk, he'd go back to her apartment like he had done a few times in the past. Then leave a few hours later. He would ignore her annoying confidence, and overlook the fact that she got around a bit.

"Just the man I wanted to see," Marina drawled while walking toward them. Eric noticed as she shimmied toward them she seemed quite sober. She glanced at his watch, realizing it was still early; 0747. They had almost reached the pit, so there were a few others in the hallway, a few men glanced her way.

Eric knew why, to him she wasn't all that attractive, but to others she was. The way she dressed definitely helped in her favor; she looked Dauntless. She had dark makeup and bright red lipstick, and her clothing was tighter than anyone's he'd ever met; tight black pants, a black lacey tank top (large tits pushed up as high as she could get them), and boots that went to her knees that had a rather large heel on them. On top of that, she had dark auburn hair, dark brown eyes, and sharp features. Eric knew he could easily continue drinking and go home with her that night, but he didn't really want to.

He was sick of girls like her, with dark hair and dark features like most Dauntless women kept. The high heels were a stupid choice for Dauntless and were beyond impractical (he had hated that women in Erudite wore them often, being professional shouldn't outweigh practicality).

No, he wouldn't be going home with her. He'd have to find someone else, but knew he wouldn't find anyone of interest. He'd have to settle. Most people still feared him or hated him, and the one's he'd slept with either wanted nothing to do with him or would do it again in a heartbeat because for the sole reason that he was a leader. He hated women like that, of course, it hadn't stopped him from fucking their brains out in the past.

"Marina," he nodded to her and handed the bottle to Jackson, then continued toward the Pit. He knew that she got the hint, but looked offended. She followed them to the pit, "what are you two doing tonight?" she asked them both, but Eric knew it was intended only for him. He didn't care.

Eric shrugged, Jackson answered for him "not sure yet, probably just drinking for a bit longer, then going to bed. We have to help with training initiates tomorrow." Marina smirked, "Ah, babysitting the little brats, how fun!" She glanced around the pit, "well I figured we could find something to do?" She asked it like a question and looked at Eric with a raised eyebrow. Eric looked her up and down as if he were contemplating it, just to humor her. He shrugged and made a non-interested face.

She glanced around the pit, "well I figured we could find something to do?" She asked it like a question and looked at Eric with a raised eyebrow. Eric looked her up and down as if he were contemplating it, just to humor her. He shrugged and made a non-interested face.

Marina hid her offense this time with a look he considered a dramatic pout, "I only assumed you'd both be interested?" she stated, changing her tone of voice at the end of the short sentence to that of someone obviously trying to seduce a man. Most men would be in for that, but Eric wasn't. He didn't do well with sharing, with another man or another woman. He nodded toward his fellow leader, "Nah, she's all yours." He smirked at Jackson and walked away with the half empty bottle, not bothering to look back and see if Jackson took Marina up on her offer. He probably would.

Most men would be in for that, but Eric wasn't. He didn't do well with sharing, with another man or another woman. He nodded toward his fellow leader, "Nah, she's all yours." He smirked at Jackson and walked away with the half empty bottle, not bothering to look back and see if Jackson took Marina up on her offer. He probably would.

Eric took a large swig out of the bottle and sat on a ledge where he could see everything in the pit. He would sit there often and watch Dauntless go about their lives. A door to a hallway that led to a cavern was a few feet away from him. The cavern was known as the club, which was just a large room that connected to a bar that played loud music later on in the evenings.

If you took the stairs to the right before the door, it leads to decks similar to the cafeteria's that allowed people to sit at tables and drink; tables were directly below them. People often brought food from the cafeteria, although they weren't supposed to. Eric knew he'd probably make his way toward there soon; it was always interesting to watch people while he was buzzed; once Dauntless got drunk things turned interesting in smaller spaces than the pit.

"Eric," a loud voice came from his left. Eric looked to see a small group walking toward him. He recognized the voice as Sean, who had Michael at his side. Both of them looked as if they would be interested in having a conversation with him. However, those following him did not. Of those were Tony, a lowly gate guard and Eric thought was a real fucking asshole. And that was saying a lot since Eric knew that he was pretty much one of the biggest assholes in Dauntless. Andy, who worked in the kitchen and was a complete moron. A small woman he didn't recognize and a large burly man that was around Max's age, who he knew worked in the control room and had a name Eric could never remember. He liked Sean and Michael well enough, but not well enough that he'd call them friends.

Of those were Tony, a lowly gate guard and Eric thought was a real fucking asshole. And that was saying a lot since Eric knew that he was pretty much one of the biggest assholes in Dauntless. Andy, who worked in the kitchen and was a complete moron. A small woman he didn't recognize and a large burly man that was around Max's age, who he knew worked in the control room and had a name Eric could never remember. He liked Sean and Michael well enough, but not well enough that he'd call them friends.

"Sean, Michael," Eric nodded to them and took a swig. Sean hopped onto the ledge with him and motioned to the pit, "it's good to be back! How's it been going, man?" Michael folded his arms and nodded toward his leader, "yeah, how's Dauntless been?"

Eric almost smirked, Michael was a smooth and confident guy and had said it like 'how's Dauntless been without me here?" He couldn't blame the guy, the guy was one of Dauntless's more good looking men and on top of that he played the guitar like a master. Women practically swooned at the thought of him. Eric slightly envied him for it, since he knew many women only went for him soley because he was a leader.

"I wouldn't know," Eric explained to them and took another swig, looking past Michael to browse the pit while he spoke. "I've been in Amity most of the past week," he told them nonchalantly. The statement had earned a small "oh" from Sean, Michael, and Troye. The others only glanced at them continued to have their own small conversation.

"Why so long? You didn't get caught up in the storm did you?" Sean asked him. Eric nodded. "That blows!" Michael said.

"Don't bother asking him about the initiates," Troye piped up. The other two looked at him questioningly. Eric already knew where this was going. Troye nodded to Eric, "he already said he'd destroy anyone who fucked around with them this year. Such bullshit!"

The other two men began laughing, "Troye not all of us want to fuck everything that walks," Michael said to him.

"It'll be nice to have some fresh meat around here," Sean stated and looked around the pit as Eric had. "Are there any good ones?" Sean asked him.

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" Michael asked him. "Doesn't mean I can't look!" Sean exclaimed.

"Oh there's definitely a few I'd like to get to know better if you know what I mean," Troye stated and looked at him as if he was checking to see if there were any initiates in the pit.

Eric rolled his eyes. "So which of those aren't complete dogs?" Sean asked him, earning a smirk from Eric and a laugh from Michael. Troye scowled, "none of the ones I'm talking about, trust me," he turned back to Eric. "Even you've got to admit that the short little Erudite brunette and the hot ass blonde Thomas was with earlier aren't completely fuckable," Troye told Eric.

Eric scowled at him. He didn't know which Erudite Troye meant, but the blonde; Natalia. She definitely was, but he wouldn't admit that to them. Initiates were off limits, even more so to a leader, especially Eric. Despite others, like Four, getting away with it in the past.

"I don't even get that rule anyways," Troye continued. "Four fucked that one Abnegation chick a few years back, and no one gave two shits!" Sean and Michael nodded, Michael still chuckling. "Yeah she was in my initiate class, first actually" Michael told them.

Sean spoke up, "he has a good point," he told Eric. "Plus, it isn't the same for Dauntless-born. Michael, you can't tell me you didn't sleep with anyone during initiation!?" Eric glared at him. "I didn't," Michael told them. Sean looked at him as if he didn't believe him.

"Yeah right," Troy told him. "I remember you and Tony with all your little friends when we were kids! Girls were always all over you guys, especially you and that one Candor kid who you used to play guitar with!"

Michael frowned a bit, "Yeah well," he paused and glanced to the pit behind him, "I was busy being one of the best in our initiate class, unlike you." Eric knew that Troye had been low on his initiation list. Sean laughed, "Yeah best is not fourth!" he told him. "I said one of the best you dipshit-" Michael replied, interrupted by Sean's girlfriend calling them from across the pit.

Sean hopped off the ledge, "you coming?" he motioned for Eric to follow. Eric didn't feel like spending time with people he barely cared for. He shook his head and raised his bottle, then took a sip. Eric noticed their friends looked relieved. Eric didn't blame them. The three guys he'd been speaking to nodded and said goodbye then made their way toward their friends.

Eric took a moment, pausing and to take in the feeling of the alcohol seeping into his bloodstream He watched them walk away. He was at the point where if he kept drinking he'd get drunk soon, so he should probably stop, or eat something. He continued to look at the pit and let his mind wander.

Fucking Troye, he hoped Natalia wasn't dumb enough to sleep with that dickhead. Eric knew that he was a manipulative guy. Not that he cared all that much about what happened to her, but it was his job to make sure the initiates were focussing on their training.

He thought about the fact that it was her birthday. Knowing she was eighteen today wasn't a big deal; he'd grown up in Erudite, who didn't celebrate days of birth. Dauntless used them as an excuse to get drunk, and he knew that Candor marked them as another year of life and the acceptance of growing old. He was curious again, and curiosity was for Erudite, or even Dauntless who wanted trouble.

Eric took a long sip out of the almost empty bottle and looked around the pit more until his eyes landed on some Dauntless-born initiates laughing among each other. He recognized Daniel and Mac, as they were two of the big Dauntless-born in their initiate class, and because they were with Daniel's brother Tristan and his friend.

His eyes continued skimming the crowd but stopped he landed on Matthew and Andrew walking into the pit. Natalia wasn't with him, though. Eric found himself wanting to know where she was. Perhaps with another guy, celebrating her birthday? Maybe Thomas. He hoped she wasn't stupid enough to fuck him either though; the kid was a cocky little asshole.

Eric got up, took the last sip, and set the empty bottle on the ledge. He shouldn't want to know, but he did want to know. What if she wasn't with Thomas, but she was breaking a rule somewhere?

Natalia was an initiate, and it was his job to make sure they were behaving and not causing problems. He hopped off the ledge and left the pit to find the blonde-haired, blue-eyed initiate.

..

..

..

Natalia wasn't in the pit, the initiate dorms, the club, the cafeteria, the bar, any of the parlors or shops, or any of the main hallways. Eric knew he shouldn't give a shit, but that left the training rooms or a Dauntless member's apartment. He had eaten a snack when he was in the cafeteria and grabbed a large bottle of whiskey from the bar while in his search.

He was currently standing above the chasm, leaning on the thing bars. He stared down the abyss as he broke the seal and popped the bottle open, taking a large swig then closing his eyes and sighing. What the fuck was wrong with him? He'd spent the past thirty minutes looking for a god damn fucking initiate. Where the fuck was she anyways?

"Not thinking about jumping are you?" Eric opened his eyes and turned toward the voice. Fucking Four, fucking Christ the last person he wanted to see. "Hmmph," Eric only responded with noise.

Four would probably be happy if he jumped, he knew that him remaining a leader was one of the only reasons Four had decided not to become one as requested many times by Max. That and the fact that he was scared of his daddy. Eric flinched at his cruel thought, he knew Four's dad had been abusive.

"Heard you got Max pretty wasted earlier," Four told him, raising his voice at the end to make the sentence sound like a question rather than a statement. Eric took a small sip of the drink. "You know, drinking by the chasm isn't the best idea," Four continued. Eric didn't respond, but turned his head and glared at him. Why the fuck was, he even talking to him?

"Try not to fall in, the initiates are to start fights early, and Lord knows they need all the help they can fucking get," Four told him and walked past him toward the pit. That was one of the strangest encounters that Eric had ever had with Four. Most the time they either never talked shared not such nice conversations or ignored one another's existence.

Eric glared at Four's back, suddenly annoyed upon remembering that he had started dating his girlfriend when she was an initiate; no one had judged him for it because they had both been from Abnegation. Most people assumed that they had known each other before or that they were perfect for each other because the two both came in first for their initiations.

Eric suddenly realized that Troye was sort of right, unfortunately. The rule that initiates couldn't be involved sexually or romantically with full-fledged members was only looked down upon in some situations. If members were Dauntless-born no one really gave a shit, and in situations like Four and Tris's, pretty much no one gave a shit, and he was her trainer!

The rule that initiates couldn't be involved sexually or romantically with full-fledged members was only looked down upon in some situations. If members were Dauntless-born no one really gave a shit, and in situations like Four and Tris's, pretty much no one gave a shit, and he was her trainer!

Thinking of training, Natalia was probably in a training room. It was pretty much the only place he hadn't checked.

..

..

..

Natalia continued to run on the treadmill. It wasn't ideal since she preferred to run outside, but it was better than nothing. Andrew and Matthew had found her after she had gone to the tattoo parlor. Supposedly Andrew had explained to their friends why Natalia hadn't wanted to celebrate her birthday, and a few of them still expressed that they were upset because they felt as if the three of them weren't being great friends.

Supposedly Andrew had explained to their friends why Natalia hadn't wanted to celebrate her birthday, and a few of them still expressed that they were upset because they felt as if the three of them weren't being great friends and that they'd felt secluded.

They had mentioned that they thought Matthew saw himself as better than them and that's why he didn't talk to them much or spend as much time with them as Natalia, and Justin had.

On top of that, Callie had screamed at them that they were only using them to get an advantage over the other initiates since they had been helping teach them fighting techniques before any other transfers had learned.

It was stupid. Natalia didn't get it. Why would Callie think that they were using them when they'd spent time together outside of training? She wasn't used to having friends that were girls and was coming to find out that there was a reason. Females take things too personally, and they bring up random shit to try to prove their points.

Natalia only hoped that she would get better with her fighting stances so that if she did end up fighting Callie, she could punch the stupidity out her. It was unlikely, though; Callie was high in ranking for a reason. Natalia however, knew that fighting would be the hardest part of training, plus she had no upper body strength.

Natalia heard a noise behind her. The small exercise room only had one door, so she stopped the treadmill and glanced behind her as it slowed to a stop. She narrowed her eyes upon seeing who was leaning against the door; Eric.

Why was he here? Natalia glanced back to her treadmill, 6.2 miles. That wasn't bad, considering she had only been running 52 minutes.

Her blood continued to rush from the adrenaline high. She heard Eric walk toward the treadmill. She grabbed the small towel that she'd brought with her and wiped her face and grabbed her almost empty water bottle as Eric walked to the side of the treadmill.

"6.2 miles?" Eric said to her, "not bad." He leaned against the treadmill and but his arms on the rails of the machine. Natalia realized that he looked more relaxed than she'd ever seen him. It probably had a lot to do with the bottle of alcohol he was holding. She downed the last of her water and leaned against the opposite railing, wondering why her leader was staring at her curiously.

"That's what, an average of 8.3 miles a minute," Eric said to her. She nodded at him, then made the mistake of looking him dead in the eyes. She almost flinched at the intensity of his dark gaze but managed to maintain herself.

"Can I help you with something?" she asked him. She cursed herself at the way it had sounded. She hadn't intended it do be a demanding statement; it had been a defensive reaction to his intense gaze. She just wasn't sure if she was turned on by it, or scared.

Eric, however, did the opposite of what she expected and smirked as he continued to hold her gaze. He raised the bottle toward her and raised an eyebrow, "drink?"

What the actual fuck? This was probably the strangest, yet most normal conversation she'd had with someone at Dauntless. And it was with none other than Eric, the Dauntless leader. She continued to look at him with a blank expression, was he testing her?

"It's your birthday," he explained to her nonchalantly, "why are you training? You should be celebrating like Max said." Natalia scoffed and powered down the treadmill. She jumped off and headed toward the doors on the opposite side of the entrance, assuming one was a small bathroom.

"No one bothered to tell you, I suppose" Eric continued, "that this room is used only by leadership and other superiors at Dauntless." Natalia slowly stopped a few feet from the door and turned to him, folding her arms. Nope. No one had told her that. She assumed that in a faction that prided themselves on the strength it didn't matter where the hell they worked out, so long as they stayed in shape, wouldn't have secluded training rooms for their members.

"No, I didn't know that," she explained to him in a way that made it sound like she didn't intend to let it happen again. Eric walked toward her slowly. It was strange, to see him relaxed like this. He wasn't scowling, not that he looked happy, but just, different. He didn't say anything until he was in front of her. "Well, I suppose I could let it slide this time," he told her.

Natalia realized that he wasn't stopping, but was still moving toward her.

She backed up until she was against the wall, Eric finally stopping closer than she'd have liked him to have stopped. "But," Eric continued, "only if you have a drink with me."

Wait, why?

Eric chuckled, a smirk showing on his face, he caught her eyes again. "Because it's your birthday," Eric told her and handed her the bottle. Natalia hadn't realized that she'd asked him why out loud. "Everyone deserves to celebrate at least a little bit; it's the Dauntless way," he inched a bit closer to her when speaking.

Natalia was curious as to why he cared. Perhaps he was messing with her. She decided to humor him and take a drink of the bottle she was now holding.

However, Eric was officially standing close enough to cause her discomfort. Enough that she had to tilt her head to the right a bit to avoid hitting him when she took a sip of the bottle.

Not only did her throat burn as she took a large gulp of the alcohol, not knowing which kind it was, but her insides seemed to tingle as well as she kept eye contact with him.

His eyes had darkened a bit when she swallowed the large gulp and lowered the bottle into his hand. The other had raised so that it rested just above her head.

Eric's smirk had faded a bit and vanished almost entirely when he took a sip and handed her back the bottle. She took it back but waited to take another sip. She instead broke eye contact with him and took a chance to look at all of his features up close.

Whenever she'd seen him she'd looked at his body; it was hard to miss, and his piercing dark eyes, which she now knew weren't black but a creamy dark brown, but not the rest of his features. She noted that his nose was a bit crooked, and his lips, fuck she couldn't stop glancing at his lips.

Her breath was still heavy from the run, but she knew that his proximity wasn't helping her heart rate slow down.

Natalia looked him up and down, noticing his relaxed posture and landing back to another smirk playing on his lips. His eyes were still darkened but had a mischievous look in them as well.

Great. Just great. If his intention had been to tease her when he had found her in the leader's exercise room, she was helping set him set herself up for it. It was rather obvious that she was turned on, and he seemed to take advantage of it since he leaned a bit closer to her.

A feeling of electricity shot up her as she felt him wrap his hand around the bottle she was holding, raising her hand so that she was forced to take another sip of the bottle they were now sharing. He held it long enough so that she had to swallow three times, and ended up coughing after the last one.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back as he chuckled again. What the fuck was he doing to her? He was a leader, he shouldn't be acting like this.

His posture was composed, so he wasn't drunk, probably close to it, though. She shouldn't be allowing him to do this. She felt more of the space around her empty, as he was now close enough that she could feel his breath. She couldn't think straight.

Natalia's eyes snapped open as she felt his hand release from hers and lean to the other side of her head, knowing that he had to be leaning down if his breath was on her face. His breath was a bit heavier than it had been as well, so opening her eyes, however, was not the best decision.

His gaze was so intense she felt herself leaning into him rather than back against the wall as she had. Eric pulled back slightly and moved hand so that he was grazing her neck and cheek. She shuddered at the touch and maintained eye contact with him.

"What are you doing?" she managed to say to him breathlessly. She felt him pause in place as if woken from a trance when she had spoken, and he looked up at the hand resting to the right of her head. He didn't remove his hand, though, nor did he pull back more.

After what felt like ages he finally spoke to her. "You know, you're the only initiate I've ever get away to talking to Max like that." He moved his eyes back to hers, this time, she could see anger rather than what may have been passion only minutes before. "Perhaps that's why he brought up your birthday today since it's obvious that you weren't happy about it." He tilted his head a bit as he waited for her to respond.

This was a cruel situation. Natalia couldn't believe she'd allowed him to affect her like that. She hadn't felt that turned on since, well, ever. She glared at him, "why the fuck do you care?" Again, it had come out more demanding than she wanted.

Eric quickly shifted so that his arm was next to her arm rather than by her head; his body was now pushing her against the wall, and his free hand was around her neck. She tilted her head up and contemplated dropping the bottle to distract him, but waited. She closed her eyes and managed to gulp, the grip on her neck tightening slightly.

"Well initiate," Eric whispered to her, his nose now slightly gracing hers, "are you scared?"

No. She wasn't scared. The grip on her neck was turning her on even more. She knew that she'd liked it rough but Jesus, she'd never been choked. She'd never though that she'd like it. But having Eric, who was an attractive, strong, and dominating man, have his hand around her neck like this. Well fuck.

Natalia's only hope was that she could continue to let him think she was scared, not that the effect he was having on her was actually physical. She opened her eyes, yet again regretting it instantly. His eyes darkened immediately. Fuck, he definitely knew.

Eric breath became heavy again, and he gripped her neck a bit harder and raised her neck a bit. He had pushed the lower part of his body against her a bit more, just enough to get a small moan from her.

Eric chuckled and graced his lips on hers. "Well fuck," he said to her while their lips still touched, making her squirm. "Who would have thought, Jeanine's little protegee likes it rough?" He moved the hand that wasn't on her neck to her hipbone, stopping her squirming.

Natalia couldn't take it anymore; he needed to stop teasing her. She was about to tell him to either fuck her or let her go, but couldn't seem to find the words. Instead, she whispered a mere "please," which had come out more like a beg.

"Please, what?" Eric asked her and moved his head and body away from her, "please let me go?" He kept eye contact with her and moved his head closer to her, "please, fuck me?" he whispered. He removed his hand from her neck and grabbed the bottle from her hand and took a sip, then motioned for her to take the bottle and have another sip.

When he'd removed his hand from her neck, however, the spell had been broken. Natalia glared at him and threw his hand off her hip, then pushed him back away from her. Instead of saying anything she briskly walked toward the door. She needed to get the fuck out of there. Now. He was drunk, and Jesus Christ she'd never live this down. What the fuck!

Once she was out of the room she began to jog, wanting to get away as quickly as possible. Why hadn't she stopped him sooner?


	20. Chapter 20 (Natalia & Eric's POV)

I'm sorry if my names and dates have been a bit off! I've written this over the past year, and I have been so busy that I sometimes forget a few minor details. Embarrassing, right? Oh well, it's my first time writing for an audience, and I'm trying to learn from my mistakes and fix them as I go! Please let me know if you see anything else that I need to change! Thank you again for reading and giving me feedback, good or bad I appreciate it! Also, the next few chapters may rather short. I'll try my best to make up for it with an extra long one soon!

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Natalia's POV

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"Don't worry about it Tiger! Your brother will accept this, just like we accepted him and Benson being together!" Michael told her, his hand around her shoulder. He stopped abruptly, "you don't regret this right?" It was a chilly day for being Spring, and she felt a chill through her thick black and white checked, she folded her arms she looked up at him.

Natalia couldn't help but smile at the look offended on his face. Michael may be Dauntless, but since the day she'd met him, she knew that he wasn't the mean tough guy most people thought he was. That was why she loved him, why she had shared something so precious to her with him that day, her virginity, and he gave her his as well.

Natalia walked up to him, reaching up to put her arms around his neck, pulling him down, so their faces were almost touching. He was only a few years older than him but much, much taller. "You're his best friend, and my best friend, will never regret this," she whispered to him. Michael smiled and kissed her cheek, then gave her a hug.

It was strange; Natalia had liked him for so long. She'd never expected him to return a mutual feeling, especially with him being her brother's best friend. But she was thrilled when he had bought her a guitar for her fifteenth birthday the year before. She ignored the thought in the back of her mind that her sixteenth would be during their initiation.

"Good," he told her, "I know I'll be Dauntless soon but," Michael paused. She knew what he was thinking, that in a few months he and her brother would be leaking to Dauntless, while she would stay in Candor and Matthew in Erudite. And in over three years, when she took her aptitude test, she would go to Erudite, where she belonged.

Instead of allowing him to finish she separated from him and continued walking, "let's go find him, it's better to tell him sooner rather than later.." Michael put his arm around her shoulder and followed without saying much more.

A few minutes later they came to a small patch of trees, woods perhaps, close to where Amity's land was. "Why are we meeting him here?" Natalia asked her brother's best friend. "I'm not sure; he just said he would be writing songs in the woods. Told me he'd come here a few times, but I've never checked it out with him" he motioned for her to follow. His tone sounded strange as if he was questioning why her brother would have brought them both to such a place.

It was so quiet. It could be considered peaceful perhaps if is wasn't so chilly, and if the sun wasn't setting, leaving dark shadows around them. In a way it was eerie, and for some reason, something didn't feel quite right to her. Natalia could tell that Michael felt the same way, but they kept walking, searching for William. She listened, hoping he'd be playing his guitar if he was writing, but hear nothing but silence.

After only a moment she and Michael came to a clearing. He had been walking closer to her, "Where is he?" he asked her. Unfortunately, they would find the answer just a moment later. As they made their way into the small clearing ahead of them, she felt another chill run along her spine. Natalia heard herself gasp, felt her entire body go numb, and her whole heart, mind, and soul, shatter.

Natalia couldn't look away. She forgot that Michael was with her. Forgot the memories they had shared that day. She forgot everything, and instead replaced it with the horrid memory that would forever haunt her. The memory of her brother, her best friend, her everything, hanging from a tree. Forever she would remember the blueish tint of his cold skin and the empty look in his eyes. She heard a scream from somewhere in the distance, not realizing at first that it was her own voice as she fell to her knees...

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"NATALIA! NATALIA, for god's sake, wake up!" Natalia gasped awake to her cousin holding her shoulders. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't grasp what had happened. "Natalia looks at me," Matthew told her sternly. "It was just a nightmare; you're okay Tiger you're with me." He reached to grab her, but she leaned away, then laid on her back with her hands over her face.

"Is she okay?" she heard Callie ask them. "Seriously, she was screaming pretty fucking loud dude," Mac stated. "She's fine," Matthew told them sternly, "she'll be okay. Go back to bed."

"We're just worried about her Matthew," Callie snapped at him. "I told you yesterday... Nevermind, for fuck's sake." Natalia heard Callie walk away and jump into bed.

"It wasn't a nightmare," Natalia finally spoke up. The room was silent, waiting for an explanation. "It was a memory; one I don't want to talk about," she explained quietly, "please let me forget it. I just want to forget."

She heard Matthew sigh and reach for a blanket from his top bunk. He crawled to the end of her bed and leaned against the wall. "Go to bed," he stated simply, not talking to just Natalia, but everyone. It had to have been rather early in the morning. Natalia uncovered her eyes and rolled to the wall, glancing quickly at her watch; 0414. Not as early as she thought. She heard the room around her settle back into their beds,

It had to have been rather early in the morning. Natalia uncovered her eyes and rolled to the wall, glancing quickly at her watch; 0414. Not as early as she thought. She heard the room around her settle back into their beds, and tuned out any murmuring and whispering they made to one another.

Natalia knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, and knew that Matthew knew that as well. "You can go back so sleep Matt, I don't want to talk about it," she told her cousin. Natalia quickly got up from her bed and quickly changed clothes.

It was dark, but she knew it wasn't dark enough to stop anyone from staring at her. And she knew half the room was, but she didn't quite threw on a pair of tight black skinny leggings, her workout shoes, and a dark gray long-sleeved shirt.

She grabbed a sweatshirt off of Andrew's bag that was half-way under his bed; he gave her a look that said he didn't mind but looked as if he wanted to say more. They didn't understand, but she knew they would once they saw her fear landscapes; losing Matthew the way she lost William was one of her biggest fears.

Until that day, she didn't want to discuss it with anyone, not even Matthew. Even after that she just wanted to forget it. That was why she was here, in Dauntless. To move on, to heal. To leave behind the hatred she felt for her father her entire life; the blame she felt for her mother's death; women she barely knew. The blame she felt, both from her father and herself, for her brother Williams death. She walked as quickly as she could to the stairs that led to the roof she had jumped off of nearly a week before, she needed fresh air.

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Eri's POV

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Eric's POV Fucking Christ, Eric's head felt like a million bricks had been thrown at it. He rolled over to look at his alarm clock, 0456. Ugh. Max had told him he needed was supposed to help train in fighting today. He didn't need to be there anytime soon but had to get rid of his headache before he went. He groaned and moved his hand to wipe his hair out of his eyes, which was shaved on the sides and in the back, but the top had grown too long.

Fuck. Jesus fucking Christ. He thought about the night before and hoped no one had been paying attention to the cameras in the supervisor's training room; that would be the last thing he'd want to deal with. Eric rolled out of bed and headed toward his kitchen, starting his coffee pot, then headed to his bathroom to shower.

He kept his shower short, remembering that had taken a rather long shower after his encounter with Natalia the night before and didn't need much of a cleaning. Or perhaps he did.. Fuck, he hoped he'd be able to keep a straight face when he saw her later after the things he'd thought about her. He'd been drunk and had allowed his imagination to wander.

He was NOT looking forward to her. FUCK. She had actually stormed out on him! He hadn't intended to pin her against, but damn was it worth it once he had his hands on her throat and she moaned.

Holy shit, he would never have guessed that a girl like her liked it rough. Although, she was in Dauntless after all. He needed to stop thinking about her, but he couldn't fucking stop.

Once Eric hopped out of his shower, he quickly got ready for a day of training, grabbed his large thermos to fill with enough coffee to last until he had to be at training, and headed out the door. Fresh air always helped him with hangovers, which he could find on the roof.


	21. Chapter 21 (Natalia's POV)

Natalia's POV

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Natalia glanced at her watch, 0517. Nearly two hours until she had to head to training, fantastic. She needed coffee, badly, but figured she could hold out a bit longer. She sighed, and wondered when she'd be able to sleep through an entire night without having to go back on medication for insomnia; she was exhausted.

Natalia jumped a bit when she heard the door on the other side of the roof slam open and shut. She glanced over to see a figure walking toward the edge was sitting on. She couldn't tell who it was until he was a bit closer, then realized it was the ruthless Dauntless leader that had drunkenly pinned her against the wall the night before. GREAT.

She turned back to stare out at the dark landscape in front of her as we walked within feet of her. She figured he probably didn't even know it was her since she had the hood of her black sweatshirt covering her blond messy-bun. "I just can't seem to stop running into you in places that I shouldn't be, huh?" she asked her leader non-nonchalantly.

Natalia removed her hood and glanced up at Eric, watching him expressionless as he glared at her then shook his head and looked out at the landscape she'd just been looking at as well. He clearly wasn't happy to see her either, not that he ever looked happy.

Actually, he looked like absolute shit. Not a surprise after how drunk he had been the night before. Despite looking terrible, he still was one of the sexiest men she'd ever met. She shouldn't be thinking like that. She looked back to the landscape in front of her. "Where have you been that you shouldn't have been?" Eric asked her, annoyance clear in his raspy voice. Natalia felt a chill down her spine as her eyes snapped back to him. There were bags under his eyes, and his gaze was an intense dark glare.

"Last night?" She said to him questioningly. Eric folded his arms, his glare becoming more intense as he began to speak. "Care to explain what you're talking about?" he asked her, annoyance in his voice. She narrowed her eyes, trying to decide if he was lying, but couldn't tell. Natalia felt a wave of relief upon realizing that it was very likely he truly didn't remember.

Natalia shook her head as her eyes landed on the large thermos he had tucked in his arms. His massive muscular arms that she could see through his black jacket. She was surprised he could even fit his arms into a coat; she wondered what he looked like with his shirt off. No, nope. No thoughts of that. Coffee, yes coffee, she needed coffee.

Natalia stood quickly and walked around her Dauntless leader. "Initiate," Eric said menacingly. "Natalia turned around as she walked backward, "I was wandering in the hallway last night when I should have been in bed; couldn't sleep." She raised her shoulders and continued, "you yelled at me, and I went straight to the dorms." Natalia turned around, only feet from the door she walked as quickly as she could to the stairs, then took them by two on her way down.

She felt a headache coming on; she was tired and hungry. Natalia walked as quickly as she could to the cafeteria to grab a large dark black coffee and hoped that there was a scone she could snag as well.

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Natalia wandered toward the cafeteria quickly after leaving Eric on the roof, her thoughts running even more wild than they had before. He had forgotten? He'd been drunk. Drunk.. Oh thank god.

It wasn't just the fact that she still felt tingles throughout the entire night where Eric had touched her, or that she craved more of it, but the why he did it. Had it been the alcohol? Had he just been toying with her? Or had he actually intended to start something with her? It seemed like he'd been pretty close to kissing her, and of course, she had wanted him to, so badly.

Once she really thought about it, she didn't know much about him, just what she had heard from everyone else, and that he seemed like a royal asshole who glared at her whenever she was around him.

Plus he sure as hell didn't seem like the kind of man that would want someone like her in such a way. He had to have been at least five to six years older her senior, and attractive enough, so fucking attractive, with a high status, a leader for god's sake, to get just about any girl he wanted despite his awful demeanor.

The meeting with Max, and what he had said to her that night. About how Max probably only called her out in front of others because he knew that she wouldn't want him to. She had come to the conclusion that Eric was definitely just toying with her. Which was not only cruel to catch her off guard, but not like her AT ALL to let someone get away with such bull shit. She felt like a moron, letting him have that effect on her and letting her weaknesses show. The biggest issue that she had with all of these thoughts, however, was not his motives, but that she had wondered if she would be so angry about the situation had he actually kissed her. Or perhaps if he had tried more than that, would she have let him?

Once she got to the cafeteria she was thankful to see it was empty again, she grabbed her coffee and a cranberry muffin and decided to walk around the compound instead of heading straight to the roof. She considered going to the training room early but didn't want to risk being even more tired than she already was.

She found herself not looking forward to training, as she had been the previous day. She knew that Eric and a few other superiors were supposed to be helping, and if Eric was just fucking with her, well it gave her a strange feeling in her stomach. Fuck.

"Natalia?" she turned toward the voice, realizing she had just walked past the large tattoo parlor, and that it was BJ who had said her name. "What are you doing up so early? Not that I'm complaining," Bj asked her, leaning against the doorframe of the shop.

"I could ask you the same thing," she said, motioning to him with her coffee. He smirked at her. "My sleeping schedule is all out of wack. I've been switching between night and morning shifts this week. Someone has to be up at all time since so many of the members have crazy schedules," BJ explained to her. "You look, sorta tired, though," Bj said questioningly, "not like unattractive tired, you're very attractive, believe me, I just mean. Like sleep. Um"

Natalia smirked at his rambling and walked toward him, "I just couldn't sleep," she told him. "We start learning fighting techniques today, and some of us might start actually fighting.." BJ raised his eyebrow,

"Ahh, you taped up your belly button piercing, though, right?" Wrong.

The answer must have shown on her face, curse her Candor upbringing. BJ chuckled, "not something you should forget to do, come in, I've got tape you can use." She followed him in, knowing that it was important to do so if she didn't want her piercing ripped out. Yeah, that was it, why she was motivated enough to follow him and somehow felt more awake than she had since last night. "So," he spoke with his back to her while walking to his tattooing room in the back of the large shop. "Any more thought on what other piercings you might want? Maybe some tattoos?"

Yes, she had. She knew she wanted a quote on each side of her ribs. A few other tattoos as well, but that was where she wanted to start. As for piercings, she wasn't quite sure yet. She stopped once she got to his room, and he shut the door and motioned for her to sit on the stand. "Want me to do it?" BJ asked her while holding up the small tape roll.

"Nah, I've got it," she lifted her shirt and ripped off a little piece from the roll. "Wait," BJ told her. She looked up at him quizzingly, "you should probably disinfect it and use gauze too, it is a new piercing" he suggested. Yes, she probably should have known that.

Natalia waited as he grabbed the cause and disinfectant, picking up the coffee she'd set next to her and taking a large gulp. "Ugh," she said to herself, the cup was almost empty, and she'd have to go and get more. BJ turned around with the items in his hands and lifted an eyebrow. "I'm out of coffee," she explained.

"Here, take care of this, and I'll grab you more, he told her. "We've got some in our break room." He grabbed her cup and left the room. She took care of her piercing then set the items back in the drawer she'd seen him grab them from, then began to look around the room.

Natalia started flipping through the book on the table, finding some prints that she'd love for one of her tattoos. She considered coming back later that day to get one. Why not?

One of the tattoos she had wanted was a poem by Robert Frost, an old poet from before the wars; Fire and Ice. It was a long one, and she'd always loved his poetry, but that one had always stood out to her, and although it would take up most of her side, it'd be worth the pain.

The others were reminders; reminders of her brother; reminders of her past. Reminders that her life was going to be better while she was at Dauntless.

"Here," Bj had returned with a cup of coffee for her. Natalia explained to him the tattoo that she wanted first, then they picked out the style. After she had taped her piercing, they had gone to the front of the parlor and sat behind the counter talking and drinking coffee. She had planned to leave and go to the roof, but it was nice having a distraction from the things that regularly ran through her head. Like the ruthless Dauntless leaders bulging arm muscles when she was pinned against the wall, or how turned on she had been when he put his arm around his neck. No. Nope, she needed to stop!

They mostly talked about tattoos. He showed her his sketchbook and the list of tattoos he still planned to get. After while she felt relaxed enough with him to talk about the ones that she'd wanted, he wrote them down as she got to the last one, a tiger that sprawled on her back, the tail curling on her side just below the poem she wanted, she felt herself tearing up.

"You want it realistic right? That would look fucking awesome!" Bj was still scribbling in his notepad, "I'll spend some time drawing this out, and the other ones." She nodded. "You have an eye for placement by the way," Bj looked up at her and smiled. "You know, if I do all this work on you, you'll have to stop wearing long sleeves all the time, right?" Natalia laughed. "No I'm serious," he told her with a smile and scribbled a note on his pad. "I'm a damn good artist," he told her. She had to admit she liked him a bit more, confidence was most definitely a turn on for her, "and I like it when people show my work off," he finished with a raise of an eyebrow.

"You just want to see me with my clothes off," Natalia teased him again. He smirked and looked up, "Yeah, well," he shrugged, "also, if I'm going to sketch this all out I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't get tattoos from anyone else until we get through these." He looked down and wrote another note.

"Don't worry, I won't let anyone ruin your blank canvas," Natalia knew she was flirting with him at this point. "A dream come true for any tattoo artist, and any man," he put his notebook on the counter. "So, tell me, which of these are purely for design and which ones are personal?"

"Well," Natalia took a long sip of her almost empty cup. "I've always loved the poem," she explained and looked at the paintings on the walls. "As for the others, nearly all of them have a reason behind them. The most important of them all is the tiger, though," she glanced at him, not sure if she wanted to let him in just yet. She could tell he'd be a good friend, but there were some doors she didn't necessarily want to open up to her friends. She looked up to hear commotion in the hallways, reading the clock hanging on the wall she realized it was the time most went to breakfast.

"It's uh, my favorite animal," Natalia smiled at him. "Listen I promised I'd meet up with everyone a bit early for training," she hadn't, but she wanted to go anyways. "I'll see you later today?" he asked her, she nodded and walked backward towards the door. "You better have at least some of these drawings done for me!" BJ nodded to her before she turned and strode out the door.

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Natalia was on the same mat she'd been on with Jacob and Daniel the day before, stretching, and glanced at the clock reading 0708. She couldn't believe that was just the day before; it seemed like so long ago. She had been in the training room for almost half n hour and had spent the time in between that and leaving the roof in the cafeteria, talking to a man named Will who worked in Dauntless's infirmary.

She had found out that he was a girl named Christina's boyfriend. Dauntless was a small faction, and over the week before she had begun to see faces she recognized everywhere. Many glared at her, but some took the time to talk to her, like Will.

She realized once he explained that she was pregnant, and had been trying to get people to call her "Tina," for over a year, and was the girl she'd been introduced to as Max's assistant the week before. He told her that he knew Matthew and hoped that he'd want to work in medical under him, to which she told him that her cousin might like that very much. Dauntless was a small faction, and over the week before she had begun to see faces she recognized everywhere.

A few of the Dauntless-born initiates had shown up at the time that she'd been there. One of them being Thomas who gave her a mean glare as he walked in the few Dauntless men that she didn't recognize.

"Hey Natalia!" she heard Jacob's voice behind her. She crossed her legs on the mat and turned her head to his voice, seeing that Daniel, Jacob, and Callie were with them. Natalia hid her scowl; she didn't want to deal with Callie again.

To her dismay, however, Callie plopped down right next to her. Natalia didn't look at her but instead scanned the other faces in the room, all of the distracted with their stretching and conversation. "Hey I gotta piss, come with me," Daniel said to his friends. "Are you a little girl?" Mac asked him, "can't go by yourself, bro?" Natalia looked up to see Daniel punch his best friends arms and motion to the two girls sitting on the floor. "Ahh," Mac said and nodded his head, he turned his head and narrowed his eyes in a dramatic show of understanding. Daniel pushed him toward the locker rooms.

Natalia still didn't look at Callie sitting next to her but heard her sign. "Listen..." Callie began, "this may be hard to believe, but the only other girl-friend I have is Tiffany. And she's not doing so hot in the initiation, as you saw on the board yesterday, she's dead last. And of course, she's been taking it out on me. She says I've been spending so much time with Mac and Daniel lately, and she's upset about it. She had snapped at me during our run after I chose her as a partner knowing she'd slow me down, and, well I sort of took my anger with her, out on you."

Natalia looked at her; Callie was sitting with her legs and arms crossed, one of her eyebrows raised as if she was waiting for a response. Was that an apology? Natalia didn't bother hiding her smirk. She and Callie were sorts of alike, as she had few female friends as well.

Natalia saw Tiffany behind Callie's back, walking toward another mat with one of the male Dauntless-born. Callie had turned to look as well. "That's David, he's second to last, they both sort of suck." Natalia's smirk grew, "perhaps you should have gone to Candor?" she told Callie.

Callie looked back to her, "yeah no thanks," she told her nonchalantly. "So, does this mean we're good?" Callie asked her. Natalia noticed she was attempting to mask how sorry she really was by changing her voice.

"Only if you don't ask me about my past," Natalia told her. Callie frowned and narrowed her eyebrows, "I guess," she told her unsurely. "And you give me a few strikes too; I don't have many female friends either." Callie's smile returned, a look of relief on her face.

Natalia and Callie both turned to the loud laugh as another small group of initiates walked into the training room. The laugh had come from Justin, walking and smiling with Shaun, another Amity-transfer on his left, Andrew on his right, Matthew on andrew's other side. Matthew was smiling, but when his eyes met his cousin he raised an eyebrow and glanced to Callie and back as if to ask her if she was okay. She nodded that she was, making him smile.

After a few minutes Mac, Daniel, and Jacob returned to the rest of their group joined up with them. Four, Uriah and Lauren showed up shortly as well. Once the rest of the initiates showed up, as well most of the Dauntless who would be helping them, Four told them to continue stretching and take a few laps around the room while they waited for the remaining people.

Natalia chose to jog alongside Callie and Mac, who talked the entire time. Eric showed up half-way-through their third lap, a silence pouring over the initiates and most of the Dauntless as he walked up to speak the trainers. He said a few words to them then folded his arms and glared out across the room. It was amazing how one man could not only change the mood of a room but instill a sense of fear in so many without doing anything. He was clearly a threat to anyone who crossed his path.

Natalia focused on her jog, trying to pay attention to Callie and Mac argue about how soon they would begin to fight. When she glanced back to the menacing leader, she found him glaring at her with dark eyes. He still didn't look so great, but a bit better than he had when she'd run into him on the roof. She focused back to her friend's conversation and tried to shake it off.

After a few more laps Four called them all to meet up in front of him. Four, Eric, Uriah, Lauren, and a few others stood on a mat that was raised a few feet from where they stood so that they could see everyone. "Listen up!" Lauren yelled to the small crowd, "today we're going to try a method of training we've never tried before. As you can see, there are quite a few Dauntless here to help out. They will be splitting up into small groups with you." She scanned her eyes over the crowd, her arms folded and her voice stern. Beside her Four spoke up, "pay attention to what they say and don't fuck off. If you are caught not training, you'll be punished."

Natalia and her friends were standing on the far left side of the crowd, closest to the main entrance of the training room. So when an another small group of Dauntless, they were the firsts to snap their heads to the door. Four men walked in, one of them Natalia recognized instantly as Troye, who waved his hand to the trainers. "Sorry, we're late! Won't happen again, promise!"

Natalia glanced back to the leaders, noticing a few heads around her did as well. Eric and Four were both glaring at the men, Lauren rolling her eyes and Uriah and the others smirking. She looked at Matthew beside her, who had his head locked on the men at the door as well. His gaze, however, made both Eric and Four's glare look like they were the happiest people earth.

Natalia felt her eyes widen; she'd rarely seen Matthew angry, and by gods, the look he was giving them was menacing. She looked back to the small group that had walked toward them, and were only a few feet away, to figure out what he would be so upset about.

Natalia sucked in her breath as she locked eyes with the man who had been in her dreams just that morning. Michael. No. No. No. She had hoped she wouldn't run into him so soon. Michael looked at her with confusion. "It was my fault, and I'm sorry really, continue!" Troye shouted to the trainers then turned to Natalia, who still had her eyes locked on Michael. "Hey Natalia, how is a fine girl like you this fine morning?" he whispered flirtatiously, although the trainers were speaking among each other so the room was quiet enough that many people around them heard him.

When she didn't reply to him he spoke again, "Um, you guys alright?" he motioned to them. Michael folded his arms and glanced to Matthew for a short second, then back to her. "How, why, are you here?" he asked them. Natalia noticed that tone was full of confusion, a bit of hurt, and a bit of anger. Natalia shook her head. After going so long without seeing him, missing him yet being so angry with him, she didn't know what to say.

"Wait, do you guys know each other?" Troye asked them and motioned to the three of them. At this point, most of the crowd was whispering among themselves but were obviously listening to the small group. This time it was Matthew who spoke up, "No," he said sternly. "We don't know each other," he stepped in front of Natalia and turned his back to Michael.

Matthew glanced from Natalia to the stage. She noticed that he was clenching his jaw, a bad habit she had as well, but she'd never seen him do it before. Matthew was obviously furious with Michael, yet he didn't know everything, and she knew she should angry be too. "Nope," Natalia glanced to Troye, "we don't," she said simply, then turned her focus to the stage.

"Are you done wasting our time?" Eric snapped angrily to them. His glaring eyes were on Natalia, but she could tell as he narrowed them that he was curious as well. The men behind her murmured, and Four began to explain what they'd be doing for the day again. Natalia turned her gaze back to Four, why couldn't she just have a normal day?


	22. Chapter 22 (Matthew's POV)

IVE BEEN UPDATING THE PAST FEW CHAPTERS! So if you noticed a few changes, that is why! Also, I know this isn't the most productive chapter in terms of the story line, but I've mentioned before that my writing approach is sort of jumpy. I have a plan, a gigantic plan, and I cannot wait to shock you all with the big secrets I plan to reveal!

Thanks for reading!

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Also, more interaction with Eric will follow, don't you worry! ;]

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Matthew's POV

Much like his cousin, Matthew could go from level one to one hundred on the anger scale in only a short moment. Being in Erudite with his mother he'd learned to control that anger and proceed in a calm and calculating manner rather than a violent one. Turning to see Michael walk into that room and look at Natalia the way he did, to look at him like he did, made his blood boil as hot as it had been in a long time. Michael, fucking Michael!

Turning to see Michael walk into that room and look at Natalia the way he did, to look at him like he did, made his blood boil as hot as it had been in a long time. Michael, fucking Michael! And the fact that Michael looked hurt at not knowing they were there, damn it.

Matthew continued to glare toward the stage as Four told them the basic fighting methods they would be practicing, knowing that if he looked at Natalia, he'd just get more pissed off.

Matthew had seen the look she'd given him. He couldn't blame her; he was William's best friend, and they had all been more than close before he died and knew that she had like him as more than a friend but never acted on it.

That was the problem, though that they'd all been so close before Willia's death. It had been hard on all of them, but Natalia was a wreck after they found her brother. Matthew had been there for her the best that he could but found it was hard to do when every member their group was always being constantly watched. The top leader of each faction met to decide if they should allow factions to intermingle, and four out of five agreed it was best for them no to.

Matthew had been there for her the best that he could but found it was hard to do when every member their group was always being constantly watched. The top leader of each faction met to decide if they should allow factions to intermingle when underage and four out of five agreed it was best for them no to.

Matthew had been livid when his mother had told him that he wasn't allowed to see Natalia much after his death. He was allowed at the funeral, but after that, he looked for a small chance to see her at every turn. Matthew knew that she would have a hard time with it, but didn't know until months later how bad it would get. Who could blame her, though?

Matthew knew that she'd never had a great relationship with her father, but after William had committed suicide, it got worse. Her father blamed her, and Candor and Erudite blamed the Dauntless children William surrounded himself. She didn't just lose her brother, who was also her best friend, she lost everything. Everyone close to her was gone, and after the fight with her father, and after finding out she'd had thoughts that perhaps she was better off dead as well, he started to fight for her.

Matthew did everything he possibly could to spend time with her. He argued with his mother countless times, begged her to put her on medication, begged her to let them spend time together, to allow Natalia to be a part of his life.

Matthew told his mother over and over again that Natalia was going to transfer to Erudite anyways, so they should make an exception. Eventually, he won, not by his mother's or his uncle's permission, but by using the same tactics he'd learned from his mother.

The tactics that earned her a spot as the head leader of Erudite; lies, manipulation, hell he'd almost blackmailed someone. The tactics that would have made Matthew feel ashamed had he not been doing it to help Natalia, to protect her. Things that Natalia didn't even know about since she assumed his mother decided to give her special treatment because she wanted her to train to become an Erudite leader alongside him, and he hoped she never would find them out.

All Matthew wanted for her was to finally be happy, as she'd seen her be so many times since they'd been at Dauntless. Michael would never be able to give her happiness, not after what she's been through. She was an entirely different person now; Matthew only hoped that Natalia could see herself that she deserved better.


	23. Chapter 23 (Natalia, Matthew, & Eric)

Natalia's POV

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Natalia rushed out of the training room; she'd spent a quiet lunch that day with Matthew and her friends and figured she earned time for herself. She was exhausted after the long day of training. Michael had tried to catch her eye countless times, Matthew had glared at him half the day, and Eric had glared at them all. Four had snapped at Andrew multiple times, and both Mac and Daniel had gotten chewed out by Lauren and Four for fucking around.

Natalia had learned a lot, but she was sore everywhere, again. They had gone over fighting techniques and did some training exercises, then after lunch did more with the fighting techniques. She had picked things up quickly, and she noticed Matthew did as well.

Natalia knew Matthew would be upset that she was disappearing, but in all honesty, she was trying to avoid Michael. She wasn't trying to run from him necessarily, she just wanted to deal with him later, much, much later.

She thought about her friends, they hadn't asked her about the nightmares, thankfully, but had seemed super focused on their training that day. Having the Dauntless members in there appeared to have changed the mood a bit more, especially since they may begin to start fighting the next day.

Natalia briskly walked to the tattoo parlor, hoping BJ had finished at least one of the drawings she'd spoken to him about that morning. She was surprised to find that there were a lot of people getting work done and scanned the room for who she was looking for.

"Natalia!" she heard BJ call from the back of the large room. She smiled and walked toward him. He was standing with a man who had a large black mohawk, multiple ears, eyebrow, and lip piercings, and tattoos everywhere but his face, including his entire neck.

"Are you done for the day?" Natalia nodded to him, "Oh sweet! I've got a lot to show you! This is Bud, by the way; I told you he was one of the workers here. Well, actually he thinks he's in charge, but we all know Tori runs the show, and his show," BJ winked at her.

Bud let out a deep laugh and rolled his eyes, nodded to Natalia but was called to a female artist across the room. Natalia glanced to the artist, a petite female with brown hair. She was wearing a tank top that showed tattoos of small black birds flying across her collarbone. The tattoo seemed to suit her well.

Natalia thought she recognized the girl and assumed she'd probably seen her somewhere. "Oh, that's Tris you're looking at," BJ told her while motioning toward the private room they'd been in that morning.

"You've probably heard of her?" BJ asked. She had, Four had mentioned her. "She's Four's girlfriend, pretty famous actually. She had only seven fears; most have like ten to twenty, some ever more," BJ explained and shrugged. That was impressive, Natalia wondered what they were as she watched the girl wave to Bud and leave the parlor.

He motioned for her to sit down and grabbed his sketches, excitement on his face. He obviously loved his job. Natalia examined them with a smile, the tiger was perfect, as were the few others he'd sketched out.

"So what do you think?" BJ asked her. "I think, that we should start with the poem, then the tiger. How long will that take?" Natalia asked him and looked up, "How many other appointments do you have tonight?"

"None, I cleared my schedule," he told her, "I'd hoped you like them enough to get started tonight. You seemed sure about what you wanted this morning, so," he nodded as she handed back the sketches. "Perfect, ribs and back first, then the few small ones on my wrists and upper arms if we have time?" She asked him. BJ's smile grew, "I'm pretty excited, some of these are fucking sick. So we can do as many as you want Natalia. "

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Matthew's POV

"So, should I even ask what that was all about this morning?" Andrew nodded to his friend as they walked toward the cafeteria. Matthew had seen Natalia sneak out just before he and Andrew did; he didn't bother chasing after her because well, it would be a waste of time.

If she just wanted to be alone, she'd find a way to do it even if he'd bothered her. They would talk later, he was worried about her, although from what he'd seen, maybe he didn't have to worry so much as he did before they'd transferred to Dauntless. Hopefully, that would get better, and she'd steer clear of guys like Michael.

"He was an old friend of ours, and I'd rather not talk about it," Matthew told his friend. Andrew nodded, "no big deal. You looked mighty pissed, though, so I figured I'd ask." Since the cafeteria was loud and more crowded than usual for some reason, the two of them opted to sit alone rather than with their group.

They choose a large table on the far side of the cafeteria where they could talk in quiet, sitting on the end of it closest to the back of the large room, which was miraculously empty.

The two friends had been discussing what they'd begin learning in the next week other than fighting techniques; how to shoot guns and throw knives, and how they felt they might do when a few people squeezed into the table with them.

The two of them turned to realize that it was Four, a small girl with medium-length brown hair, who were sitting next to each other on Matthew's side, and Uriah, and a man that both recognized named William, sitting on his side.

"Sorry guys," Uriah told them, "guard rotations again, plus the extra help with training, so everyone's meal schedules are at the same time!" Andrew smiled, "no big deal, plenty of room here."

Matthew nodded to the man he'd recognized, "Hey William, what have you been up to here at Dauntless?" William smiled at him, "Matthew! It's good to see you! I go by Will now, but I'm actually one of the supervisors in the infirmary." Matthew thought that seemed like a good fit for him, perfect actually, and wondered if there would be openings if he were interested.

As if Will read his mind, "actually, I ran into Natalia this morning, I told her you'd be a great fit working with us once you're through initiation." Four and the girl, who Matthew assumed was named Tris, if he remembered correctly from what he'd heard, seemed to be lost in conversation with one another, whereas Uriah was half-listening to what they were saying and seemed to be scanning the room. "I was telling her about Tina actually, and that we have a baby on the way!" Will tell them.

As Matthew was about to congratulate him, Tris spoke up. "Oh come on Will, I know you're excited but that it literally all you talk about! I barely get to see her anymore and you keep rubbing it in! She spends all day helping Max with stuff and by the time she's off work she's too tired to do anything," Tris continued, "so when we just sit around and talk, it's not fun because you've already told me everything about her, and the baby!"

William folded his arms and rolled his eyes, "you're dramatic." Four spoke up this time, taking a bite of his mac and cheese and pointing his spoon at Will, "actually, she's not. It is really all you seem to talk about. I know you're excited, but seem to always be talki..."

Four was interrupted by Uriah, "Aw man, does he always have to sit with you when the other leaders aren't in the cafeteria?" he whispered to Four. Although, the whisper it was much louder than probably intended. Everyone at the table glanced to where Uriah was looking, seeing that Eric was making a beeline for their table.

"It's his fault," Tris stated sharply, "he started being nice to him, he thinks he's 'changed' or something." Tris rolled her eyes and took a bite of her cheeseburger, "as if I'd ever forget him hanging Christina," she was interrupted by her friend "Tina."

Tris rolled her eyes again, "fine, Tinaaaa," she drawled, then continued, "over the chasm. You're mental if you think that man has turned into a semi-decent human being." Four elbowed her as Eric arrived at the table and squished himself between Uriah and Will.

Eric hung Trina over the chasm? Matthew couldn't believe that was something that he'd gotten away with. No wonder Tris seemed to hate him. Eric began eating his cheeseburger without saying a word. The table remained silent for a moment until Will began talking to Matthew again, so Uriah began speaking to Tina and Tris quietly.

"Did Max tell you Jackson and I won't be at training until after lunch tomorrow?" Eric growled to Four. "We have a meeting." Four shook his head, "Nope, he didn't tell me. Uriah, did you hear that?" Uriah nodded his head to acknowledge them, then spoke after swallowing the bite of food he had in his mouth.

"Max seems to be pretty forgetful lately," Uriah said and took a bite of his burger. The table tensed a bit; Eric was glaring at the young trainer, who gulped the bite he'd taken. "I mean, with Tina," Uriah motioned to his friend, "leaving soon, and um, other, um stuff, it makes sense, um," Uriah managed to get out. Eric broke his glare and continued his meal in silence.

Matthew shook his head and stood with his tray, Andrew standing in tow. "Hey thanks for sharing your table Matthew," Will said to him. "I look forward to having you in the infirmary once you're done with training."

The statement earned Matthew a glare from Eric as if to ask him why he was wasting his time planning on a decent position when Eric clearly thought he wouldn't earn one. "Thanks, man," Matthew took his eyes away from Eric's glare and nodded to Will. "I'll see you around," he said as he started to walk away and Andrew said bye to the table and followed his friend.

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Eric's POV

Eric stormed toward the cafeteria in an unfathomably terrible mood. Not only was he exhausted from helping train while still exhausted from the night of partying he'd had, but also in ensuring the Dauntless members helping out were training correctly, most of whom actually were helpful.

He'd thought it was a stupid idea to have so many Dauntless help with training for a few days, sixteen total on top of the four trainers (including him and Jackson), but it seemed as if it was, in fact, a good idea. Not that he'd admit it to anyone.

The initiates were learning much quicker than in the previous years, and rumor had it that having the other Dauntless members, although mostly supervisors, they were highly regarded throughout the faction, being more involved was supposedly boosting 'faction-wide morale.' Because evidentially this fucking faction need that sort of bull shit

He'd also spent the entire day trying not to check out Natalia in those tight black pants and unbelievably sexy boots, and damn if he'd ever thought he'd love a long sleeved shirt, but it hugged all the right places. Plus he had been constantly wondering what the fuck was up between that cousin of hers and Michael.

Fucking Natalia. Why was this one girl driving him so fucking crazy? Earlier, he'd even thought for a moment that he regretted pretending he hadn't remembered pinning her against a wall.

Eric stormed into the cafeteria, a hush falling over the large room as soon as he arrived, as it usually did. It didn't last as long as it had used to however, as some had come to realize he wasn't the monster many thought he was during his first three years in Dauntless, but people still fucking hated him. Not that he cared.

He grabbed his food in the crowded room and took it to the only table that wouldn't leave immediately if he sat at it, which he wouldn't have minded either, housing Four and Uriah and their little friends. Unfortunately it was also the table that Natalia's cousin was at, Matthew. They were everywhere. He realized that he'd never get away from Jeanine with those two here.

He sat down to a silenced table, but after a moment Uriah, Tris, and Tina began talking amongst themselves quietly. Eric noticed that Will was talking rather exuberantly to Matthew and his friend.

Four was quiet however, so Eric took that as an opening to talk to him. "Did Max tell you Jackson and I won't be at training until after lunch tomorrow?" Eric realized it had some out a lot fiercer than he'd intended, probably because of his dislike for Four, "We have a meeting."

Four shook his head, "Nope, he didn't tell me. Uriah, did you hear that?" Uriah nodded his head to acknowledge them, then spoke after swallowing the bite of food he had in his mouth. "Max seems to be pretty forgetful lately," Uriah said and took a bite of his burger.

Was he fucking stupid? Eric glared at him, watching him gulp. Eric felt the table tense, but didn't quite care. Max was dealing with a lot of shit and still managing to do a damn good job of running the faction. Did they think being a leader was easy?

"I mean, with Tina," Uriah motioned to Tina, whose mouth was gaping open, "leaving soon, and um, other, um stuff, it makes sense, um," Uriah managed to get out. Other stuff. Obviously the entire faction knew about Max's wife cheating on him, then leaving him. Max wouldn't let something so trivial weaken him though. Eric broke went back to eating and felt the table's tenseness release.

Eric glanced up when Matthew and his friend stood to leave. "Hey thanks for sharing your table Matthew," Will said to him. Sharing his table, like the kid belonged in Dauntless Eric thought. "I look forward to having you in the infirmary once you're done with training."

Eric glared at Matthew, he already had a fucking job picked out and reserved for him? Eric would have to talk to Will about recruiting without approval, well before initiation was even up. "Thanks, man," Matthew looked away from Eric and turned his attention to William before leaving, "I'll see you around," he said and the two walked away.

"They're doing pretty good in training, babe?" Tris asked her boyfriend. "Him and his cousin, The one that BJ was talking about yesterday?" Four nodded. Eric listened intently, BJ? The tattoo artist?

"I'd say so, what was BJ saying?" Uriah asked her." Tris smiled, "oh just how pretty she was and how she supposedly got some piercings from him and talked to him about a bunch of work she wants done. Evidentially she promised to only let him work on her for now, he was pretty excited about it." she told them. "Aw," Tina said, resting her head on one of her hands with an elbow on the table, "BJ is such a great guy, do you think she likes him?"

Eric almost scoffed, from what he'd learned from Natalia the night before, BJ seemed too nice for a girl like her. "He said he just was happy to start on a 'clean canvas' but I think he does, it seemed like it," Tris told her.

"I thought her and that Erudite kid that was just here, Andrew, had a thing going on?" Uriah said with a mouth full of food. This made Eric look up and glare at the trainer again, both for his terrible manners and his comment. "Oh, really?" Tris asked him.

"Well yeah I assumed," Uriah explained. I caught them in the hallway outside the dorms pretty late one night last week. They seemed pretty close if you catch my drift." Uriah raised his eyebrows at Tina, "you know, like when I caught you two," Uriah motioned between Tina and Will, "what did you say Will? 'Talking' in that hallway during initiation. Seemed like that kind of close," Uriah had a shit-eating grin.

Will blushed while Tina and Tris laughed. Will pointed to Tris, "you have no room to talk." Tris shook her head and laughed again. "No seriously, Christina told me," Tina interrupted him "TINA."

"Ah, yes, Tina, I'm sorry baby, I'll get it down eventually," Will continued after he winked at her, "told me all about you two," he pointed at Four and Tris in a circular motion, "'sharing a bed,' during initiation."

Eric smirked and looked up at Four, although he was irritated at the fact that Four hadn't even gotten seriously reprimanded for that bullshit, something almost made him laugh at the situation. Especially considering he'd had an initiate pinned up against a wall last night and it'd been driving him up the fucking walls that he'd done such a thing.

"You're telling me," Eric folded his arms and looked at Four, his smirk widening, "that you two, the STIFFS, fucked before she was even a full-fledged Dauntless?"

Eric chuckled as a blush rose on Tris's face, "no, it wasn't like that.." Eric interrupted her, "I only wonder because of what that might have been like, two stiffs like you, getting hot and heavy" Eric ate a french fry off his plate while still smiling at them. He narrowed his eyes a bit when he noticed Four was smiling at him.

"It wasn't like that Eric," Tris told him, "we didn't, well, until well after initiation." Eric leaned forward, still smirking, folding his arms again. "No? So there was no sneaking around at all before you were done with initiation.. But, you shared a bed, although you didn't, fuck, am I right?"

"Why can't you just mind your own business Eric," Tina snapped at him. Eric's smirk lowered a bit, "I didn't realize that was even a possibility in your mind, Candor." Eric continued talking to Four, "I'm just trying to get a feel for what is and isn't allowed when it comes to intimate relationships with initiates. Because I keep hearing that its not even a real rule and even if it is it's the kind of rule can be broken in some situations."

Four narrowed his eyes at him, still smirking, "you aren't interested in an initiate, are you Eric?" Eric's smirk disappearing and his cold glare returned. Four continued, "maybe even, Natalia? I've seen you check her out more than a few times." This earned a scoff from the ruthless leader, who was done eating and stood with his tray. "You are some kind of stupid if you think I'd be interested in a fucking initiate, number boy," Eric started walking away with a glare, "I'm not you."


	24. Chapter 24 (Natalia's POV)

Alright, guys! Sorry for the long update times... :] I will try to post more often.. Especially after this chapter.. Cliffhanger!? Oops!

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Natalia's POV

"This looks fantastic BJ!" Natalia looked at her ribs and back in the mirror, the tattoos had turned out so much better than she had hoped. She turned to where he was tidying up a bit, watching him as he grabbed a bottle of dark brown liquor from under the counter and handed it to her, "I'm so glad you like them! Here, this will help with the pain. Do you want to do the few you wanted on your wrists, maybe the smaller one on your forearm?"

Natalia took the bottle, nodding gratefully she took a large gulp. Her ribs on the left side had been throbbing nearly as much as where the large tiger on her right side, with its head stopping an inch or so underneath her right breast and the tail curling up her lower back.

As she had taken a the sip of the brown liquid, she nearly sighed upon realizing it was the same as what Eric had given her. Which of course, made her think about the feeling she'd gotten when he'd held her hand around the bottle and tipped it so she could drink. This lead to her thinking about how wonderful it had felt to have his body against hers when he'd pinned her against the wall. Then, regretfully she thought about how he'd forgotten all about such events.

She shook her head and turned her focus back to the tattoo artist. "I would very much like that BJ, are you sure you aren't too tired?" She smiled and sat down on the chair she'd been laying on while he'd worked on the other tattoos, not bothering to put her shirt on. He'd just have to wrap it in a bit anyways.

BJ sat down and prepped for the start of the tattoo on her left forearm, glancing at her torso and then to her dark black sports bra, then quickly back to her forearm. She took another large gulp then motioned for him to take a sip from the bottle. He caught her eye and raised an eyebrow. "Come on; I'm your only client tonight, right? So only two small tattoos left, a few sips won't affect you before you are done."

BJ took the bottle and took a drink, then handed it back to her. "So, tell me about the other work you want," he asked her as he started on the tattoo. Natalia clenched her teeth, it didn't hurt as much as the other two, not even close, but since her skin was already stinging all over her torso and sides, it felt worse than it likely was.

She took a few large gulps, hoping he was right about it taking away some of the pain. "You mean you aren't sick of me yet?" she joked with him. BJ laughed, "not even close." Natalia took another large sip and leaned back in the chair, closing her eyes. She told him a few other ideas quietly but stopped talking as she started to think about the tattoo he was doing now, and how she'd added a few last minute details to it.

It consisted of a pile of four or five snakes all different shades of black, with one being white, so it stood out, that wound their way around her forearm and down to her wrist. The designs on the snake's body that BJ had come up with was stunning.

The last minute details she'd asked him to add were in coloring two of the snake's eyes, one a dark brown, similar to that of her older brothers, and one a deep blue, like Matthews, while leaving the other snakes eyes blank. To some, it may end up looking unfinished because of those minor details, but to her, it was the idea that maybe someday, she'd have others in her life that were as important to her as William had been, and Matthew was.

Natalia sighed as he softly flipped her arm to the side, working his way around the tattoo. She opened her eyes and watched the tattoo artist. Taking another sip from the bottle, which seemed to be doing its job in distracting her from the stinging sensation, she thought about the man in front of her. He wasn't the most attractive man she'd met, but he was funny and seemed to know how to flirt well enough. That being said, he wasn't really her type, although she hadn't seemed to have pinned down what her particular type was, nor did she get any kind of feeling that even resembled what she'd felt when she all but looked at Eric. Natalia wondered what that meant about her character that she could be so attracted to a man with the reputation the leader had.

BJ glanced up from the tattoo, "getting tired?" he took a few sips from the bottle she handed him, then gave it back to her. "I think this should be the last one for the night, rather than doing the one on your other wrist." Natalia nodded at him and took a sip; she did feel absolutely exhausted now.

"I'm almost done, thankfully because it's getting late. I forgot you still have training tomorrow" Natalia glanced at the clock, she hadn't realized how much time had passed. It was well past the time she was expected to be back in the dorms.

Once he had finished her tattoos, she had to on him for support as he slowly rubbed her side with a sort of oil. She let out a hiss. "Sorry, it will, um" his face turned red as he moved along to the other side, "be a bit sore for the next day or two. This will help though I promise." She took another gulp from the bottle she was still holding and swayed slightly as he chuckled and took it from her to take one himself. Instead of returning it to her he set it on one of the side tables.

"I didn't even stop to consider you are likely a lightweight," he told her as he carefully finished wrapping her tattoos. She put her shirt back on as he finished cleaning up. BJ motioned her out of the room, she wasn't drunk, but she was defiantly buzzed enough for it to affect her motor skills slightly.

Natalia smiled at him knowingly as he motioned her toward the front of the shop. "I should probably walk you back to the dor-" BJ had begun speaking again but was interrupted by a gruff voice. "Isn't it a little late for you to be here?" She knew that voice, Eric. Great.

BJ and Natalia both turned to the Dauntless leader putting his shirt back on and walking away from where he'd apparently been getting a tattoo touched up by another artist.

Eric glared at BJ and folded his arms, then glanced to Natalia. "Ah, Eric." BJ began to explain, "she was getting some work done and I lost track of time, I'm taking her back now." He pushed her toward the door. Apparently, BJ wanted to get far from their leader, and fast.

"No, you won't," Eric said gruffly and pushed past them, setting the bottle he had in his hand on the front counter as he went. He grabbed Natalia's arm as walked forward and dragged her with him outside the parlor. She let out a hiss and whipped her arm away "did you not just hear him say that I was just getting work done you, moron!" She held her forearm and glared at him, then glanced back to BJ who looked as if he was trying to keep a horrified look from showing on his face. The look Eric was giving her at being called such a name was menacing.

"I am perfectly capable of getting back to the dorms myself. I don't need you," Natalia pointed at Eric. "Actually either of you, "she gestured to no one in particular, "to walk me there!" She started to walk away when Eric snapped back at the artist, "have you been drinking?" she didn't hear the answer that BJ gave him as she briskly walked away and whipped herself around the corner.

Natalia didn't make it more than a few yards in the next hallway before she heard Eric striding behind her. She rounded another corner, and he stepped in front of her once he caught up, making a motion to grab her but thought better of it and instead tried to back her up against the wall. Oh hell no, she would have none of that!

She stepped around him and made her way toward the stairwell. Once she was through the door to the stairway she instantly regretted the decision to take this way; she had forgotten how tight of space this particular stairwell was. Eric was still right behind her, but as she got to the platform that whipped to the next level, he was finally able to stop her.

Eric backed her against the wall, much like the had before. His hand found its way to the spot next to her head, the other on the wall next to her side. She felt her heart stop as she looked up into the eyes that were all but glaring into hers. She watched as they darkened and he moved closer to her and glanced at her forearm where he had grabbed her before.

"So tell me, initiate, is that the only place you got work done?" Eric asked her huskily. Holy. Crap. As he waited for her to answer, he glanced down her body, as if he imagined where else she could have gotten work done. "No," she said, feeling grateful that it had come out so clearly when she felt as if the oxygen had been removed entirely from her lungs.

Eric's eyes snapped back to hers again, and he grinned. Damn, would she be lying if she didn't admit that he had an unbelievably sexy smile? The hand to her side made it's way to the bottom of her shirt, but she reached up to stop him. His grin grew as he moved his face so that it was right in front of hers.

"Whats wrong? We already eliminated the idea of you being afraid of me," his hand moved to her neck where it had been on her birthday. So he did remember? The realization must have shown on her face as he lowered his face and grazed his lips against her cheek as he spoke, "you couldn't have possibly believed I'd forgotten how good your body felt against mine, did you Candor?"

Eric's arm was flat against the wall next to her head; the other hand moved from her neck to her chin as he lifted her head and moved his mouth, so it was grazing her lips this time. She closed her eyes for only a moment as she squirmed beneath him, the friction only made her want him worse.

Her mind was no longer fuzzy from the alcohol. Hell, she hadn't felt this awake in a long time. Eric's lips were still grazing hers, and when she finally opened her eyes, she realized that his eyes were closed and that he was breathing heavily.

"My ribs," she whispered breathlessly on his lips and blinked slowly. His eyes opened, dark with his pupils dilated. "and my torso, a bit of my back, as well as my forearm." Natalia gulped as he pulled back slightly to look down with admiration. She smirked as she watched him clench his jaw, "how about this, Eric," His eyes snapped back to hers when she said his name, "you show me yours, I'll show you mine." she said it in a seductive voice she never knew she was capable of.

Eric moved so that both of his arms were flat on the wall next to her head, his body now against her in a way she could feel everything, yes, everything. He quickly closed the space between their lips again, this time kissing the side of her mouth with a touch of his lips soft enough that she could have imagined it.

Natalia gasped and put her hands on him, one on his hip. He let out a growl when her hand touched just barely below his shirt. The slight touch seemed to have sent him over the edge as he grabbed her head with one hand and her hip with the other and kissed her.

Natalia forgot to breathe. The kiss was earthshattering. Eric's grip on her almost made her believe that his life depended on stealing her oxygen. The hand that had barely touched his hip was now deep under his shirt, meeting the other on his back. She pulled him closer, and she ran her nails along his back, earning another growl from him. He shoved her hard against the wall again, breaking away only for a short moment to take a breath before returning his mouth to hers.

Eric moved his hand under her shirt, earning another hiss from her as she went to grab his hand again. Eric pulled back panting, apparently not regretting that he'd forgot she'd be sore from the tattoo since he left his hand where it was. The other hand was still on the back of her head, tilting it so that she was looking up at him as he had pulled his head so it was far enough away she couldn't feel his heavy breath on her face anymore.

"What the fuck are you doing to me?" he asked her. This time his voice wasn't husky, nor was it stern and cruel as it usually was, but desperate. They were both still panting as they stared at each other, neither willing to move away. After a moment of this, Natalia put her arms around his neck and pulled him down into another desperate kiss, his hand moving to her back to pull her lower half against him. "I was, just, going to ask, you, the same thing," she spoke into his lips as they kissed.

A door opened from one of the stairs below, both of them froze upon hearing voices and multiple people walking up the stairs toward them. Eric pulled away quickly and all but dragged her up the stairs. She followed him, shaking her head as she thought what the hell they'd just been doing. What was she thinking? Clearly, she wasn't thinking!

Once they were out of the stairwell and into a hallway, she realized that Eric had taken her up a few flights too many, she no longer recognized her surroundings. He let go of her and motioned for her to follow him, she did so, curiosity taking over.

After only a moment they came upon a black door. He entered a code into the panel next to the handle and pulled her into the room. He slammed the door behind them shut; she tried to look around, seeing only shadows of what seemed to be a large open apartment consisting of a sitting area with bookshelves lining the walls, a small kitchen, and a door to what she assume would be a bedroom.

Natalia didn't bother containing her gasp. Eric's apartment. He had brought her back to his fucking apartment! She turned around quickly to leave but instantly regretted it as he pulled her into him and pinned her against the door. Again, Natalia lost herself in his kiss.


	25. Chapter 25 (Natalia's POV)

Natalia's POV

Nearly a week had passed since the night she'd gotten her tattoo and ended up in Eric's apartment. Thankfully, she'd managed to slip from his grasp and had run from the apartment so fast she'd be surprised she didn't get lost on her way to the dorm. Since then, he hadn't said a word to her, let alone acknowledge her presence.

Eric didn't even look in her direction, and if he did, his gaze passed over hers like she was nothing more than a cloud of air. It was beyond frustrating. How could someone do something like that, screw with her head like that, and just act like nothing happened.

Matthew and her friends had even begun to see less of her outside of training hours the past few days because of her sour attitude, which pissed her off even more.

Callie had told Natalia last week that she was the kind of person who was better at being a lone-wolf, but she didn't mean to be. Nolan had been her friend, but they hadn't been that close. She had only really had Matthew.

The only good thing about this week is that she'd managed to use her anger as fuel during her fights, and had only lost two of seven. Natalia took a sip of her coffee and sat down outside the door to the training room, where they were to meet before going to another training area for their first fear landscape.

And Michael. He'd tried to catch her eye nearly every time she looked at him, his look desperate. She ignored him and steered clear of him outside of training.

Their entire group had been so close, but Michael was the one that was the closest to her and her brother. As she sat, her thoughts ran wild.

She thought about how patient William was when Michael taught him to play the guitar. How patient he was when he taught her; she hadn't played in a long time, and she missed it.

She thought about how he tried to convince Benito to learn as well, but he only preferred to listen.

She thought about the way her brother would look at Benito when he thought no one was looking. She assumed that he had known how William felt, but she wasn't sure. She wondered if Michael ever noticed that she looked at him in the same way Michael looked at Benito. She almost laughed at the thought.

Michael had viewed her as his best friend's sister, despite saying otherwise. But if he had cared about her, he should have tried to see her after William died. She had tried for so long not to think about that simple fact, especially since they were the ones who had found him. Together, they'd been together that day.

"Still avoiding people, or do you want to go in with me?" Natalia looked up to see a happy-looking Andrew motioning to the door of the training room. Why was he so cheerful? Her stomach was rolling with the thought that everyone was about to watch her face one of her fears, did he not have a problem with that?

"And here I thought that people were avoiding me," she told him dryly. He laughed at her and helped her up, "We all figured your grumpiness was just because of the fighting, so Matthew recommended we give you a bit of space. It was hard on all of us, fighting our friends like that."

Natalia took the last sip of her coffee as they walked toward the training mat that had some of the Dauntless-born and the trainers waiting. Her heart jumped to her chest when she saw that none of the leaders were there. She knew they would be soon, to watch alongside the others.

"You're nervous?" Andrew sat on the side of the mat and motioned for her to sit. "You shouldn't be, not after the past week. Plus we are switching between fights and the landscapes, so at least we have a break from each."

She only sighed in return, they had been told they wouldn't just be facing one of their fears, but their worst fear, right off the bat. Like an infant being thrown into a pool of water, expected to know how to swim with no training beforehand.

"So," Andrew leaned back on his hands. "Can I give you a word of advice? Without you getting upset?" Natalia raised an eyebrow at him, but nodded. Usually when people said something about

"They say that the friends you make during initiation are often your friends for life." He said it simply, as if he were commenting on the weather.

"Stop pushing people away. It's stupid, and a waste of time," He leaned forward and propped one of his legs up. "I know its what your used to, but you its not like that anymore. No matter how pissy you get, or how much you try to push them away, those Dauntless-born aren't going to quit being your friend." He paused.

She didn't argue, she didn't say anything actually, because knew that he was right. She watched him grin at her, "I might though."

Natalia looked up at the ceiling and laid down on her back, grateful when he changed the subject. He was right, he was so right.

The two of them made small talk until their friends arrived, each of them spoke to her as if nothing had happened. It made her heart sink, to know that she'd shut-off the world around her and they were so willing to forget it.

Natalia barely heard the trainers speak once everyone arrived. Then she followed reluctantly to the training room that they'd be doing their landscapes in. Oohs and ahs surrounded her when they entered. The room was large, and to the right side was a collection of machines, a chair was placed next to them.

She gazed at the ceiling, seeing that two large screens were hanging at an angle. She turned her head to the left to see that there was a balcony, following it she realized that it wrapped around the back of the room, over the top of the entrance.

And standing right above that entry, was Max, Eric, and Andrea. Others were standing beside them, their trainers and a few select individuals, but her eyes snapped to Eric's almost immediately. She hadn't expected to catch his eye since he'd denied her very existence since their kiss, but found herself gazing into his intense dark eyes. It nearly wiped her off her feet, but his intense gaze didn't waiver.

Four began speaking to the group behind her, so she was forced to look away, though she didn't want to. She couldn't read the leader's expression, and she wanted to know what he was thinking.

Natalia continued to barely listen to what Four was saying. Her mind had been so fuzzy all day because she was so nervous.

She didn't even realize they'd started until the screens lit up in front of them, and Jacob showed on the screen. Though she wasn't keen on the fact that one of her friends was screaming and trying to fight off a herd of wild wolves circling around him, her mouth fell open as she watched.

It was incredible, the technology that went into being able to see inside someone's head like this. She found herself leaning toward it, wanting to know exactly how it worked. His landscape seemed to have lasted forever, and one it was done, people nodded toward him as he stumbled to the exit that was nearly hidden behind the machines.

Natalia gulped and looked back to the screen in amazement.

"Natalia," she felt an elbow at her side and looked back down, realizing that half the group's eyes were now on her. "He said your next," Matthew whispered and nudged her forward. "You'll do great okay? It's probably just your fear of bees and wasps, and that's nothing."

She nodded and walked toward the chair. Four nodded to her as he connected wires to her arms and gave her a clear liquid to drink. She felt dizzy. Just bees and wasps? Easy for Matthew to say, he wasn't allergic! Those nasty little creatures couldn't kill him with one sting!

Once she gulped the drink down, she laid back and closed her eyes. Her mind blocked out the room around her, and she dove head first into a memory she'd tried very, very hard to forget.


	26. Chapter 26 (Natalia & Michael's POV)

**This story speaks of suicide, so please don't read if you know it will bother you! I promise the next few chapters won't be so sad!

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Natalia's POV

 _"Don't worry about it, Tiger! Your brother will accept us, just like we accepted him and Benson being together!" Michael walked Natalia through the patch of woods with his hand around her shoulder._

 _She felt him let go as he turned to look at her "you don't regret what happened, right?" He was cute when he was concerned. She felt a strange chill on her back, but she smiled at him. She had no regrets._

 _She walked to him and put her arms around his neck to pull him down, so their faces were nearly touching. "You're his best friend, and you are my best friend, I promise you, I will never regret this," she whispered to him. Michael smiled and kissed her cheek, then pulled her into a hug._

 _"Good," he told her, "I know I'll be Dauntless soon, and you'll be in, well," Michael paused. Oh, yes. How easy it had been to forget he was going to be a full-fledged Dauntless member soon enough, and she would stay in Candor, then go to Erudite in a few years. Perhaps she would regret this. She narrowed her eyes, she had a strange feeling in her gut when thought about Dauntless. She shook her head as if it would shake the feeling off, but it didn't._

 _He didn't finish the sentence, almost as if he couldn't, not that she wanted him to, so she moved around him and walked away. "We'll figure it out. Let's go find him, it's better to tell him sooner rather than later." Michael put his arm around her shoulder, and they walked forward._

 _She felt a strange feeling pulling her toward a clearing coming up, another chill went down her back, her body turning cold with it._

 _The world around her darkened, and it began to feel as if she was at the beginning of a nightmare, she glanced around her. She felt a panic attack coming on and took a deep breath to control it._

 _"Why are we meeting him here?" Natalia asked her brother's best friend._

 _"I'm not sure; he just said he would be writing songs in the woods. Told me he'd come here a few times, but I've never checked it out with him." Michael told her. His voice was weird, full of sorrow._

 _She realized she had stopped in her tracks, Michael motioned for her to follow him._

 _If he was here to play his guitar, why did she hear nothing?_

 _Her heart sank. Three words rang over and over again in the back of her mind._

 _Something is wrong. Something is wrong. Something is wrong._

 _Michael had moved closer to her, "where is he?"_

 _He asked the question as if he already knew._

 _Natalia gasped. She tensed and felt numb._

 _She wanted to scream._

 _But she didn't, she covered her mouth, trying to maintain her composure as she stared at her brother's lifeless body hanging in front of her._

 _She had to turn away._

 _Where had Michael gone? She looked around, then heard a voice behind her._

 _She whipped around quickly._

 _"It's too late for me," Natalia heard Williams voice, and she turned back to him, but his body was gone, leaving the clearing empty. She stumbled forward._

 _No. No. No. This wasn't happening._

 _What. The. Fuck._

 _"But it isn't too late for one of them," she heard his voice again, as she whipped around again._

 _Natalia gasped._

 _Michael, Matthew, Jeanine, and her father, were all standing on the small tops of chairs, about ten feet from one another._

 _A noose was around each of their necks._

 _The world was silent._

 _"Choose," it was William's voice again._

 _She finally realized what was about to happen as the chairs below them shook._

 _No. No. FUCK NO. NO._

 _"You have to choose Natalia," William said again, his voice booming._

 _Natalia grasped the meaning of his words that there absolutely was no way to save them all._

 _She could save only one._

 _There was no hesitation after that realization._

 _The chairs all fell over at the same time, with a loud snap as the ropes whipped against the trees._

Natalia sat up, her breathing heavy as she struggled to speak, to think, she was gasping.

She felt herself hyperventilating. "Matthew," she gasped the words, she couldn't breathe.

"MATTHEW," this time she said it much louder. She scanned her surroundings, seeing everything but nothing at the same time.

Bile rose in her throat. She rolled over and fell off the chair, onto the hard ground. A trash can then appeared next to her, and she released the contents of her stomach.

Within seconds Natalia felt arms around her, "I'm here Tiger," she turned to cry into his shoulder.

"Don't worry Tiger, I'm here. I am so sorry, I can't believe you had to go through that again." When he finished he cursed under his breath.

Natalia was still hyperventilating as she felt him pull her up and drag her toward the door, still glued to his shoulder. "Don't leave me, please Matty. You can't leave me, I can't live without you. Her words were nearly incomprehensible, but he seemed to have understood.

His voice cracked in his quiet whisper as he held her tightly, "I'm here, I'm right her. I'm never leaving you, Tiger, Never, I promise."

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Michael's POV

Michael forgot that he was standing only feet from his leaders and began to shake as he watched from the balcony above the initiates.

"Dude, is that you?" Troye nudged Michael. Tony gasped beside him. Michael's heart sank. His eyes were glued to the screen as he watched in horror.

Michael watched as he walked Natalia through the patch of woods with his hand around her shoulder.

" _Don't worry about it, Tiger! Your brother will accept us, just like we accepted him and Benson being together! "you don't regret what happened, right?" "_

He remembered it like it was yesterday. How could he not when it haunted his dreams regularly? Michael watched the younger version of himself turn to her. God, he hated himself for doing this to her.

 _"You're his best friend, and you are my best friend, I promise you, I will never regret this."_

Fucking fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Natalia smiled at him. He remembered that smile so clearly it hurt, and as he remembered that she was about to pull him closer to her, he took a deep breath.

 _"Good, I know I'll be Dauntless soon, and you'll be in, well,"_

He could feel his lips on her cheek.

 _"We'll figure it out. Let's go find him, it's better to tell him sooner rather than later._ "

Michael began to shake. William would never find out.

He'd ever know that his best friend had broken the promise he'd made to him, to leave Natalia alone despite his feelings for her. But he'd done it anyways, knowing that the consequences could be breaking her heart. He'd been selfish, willing destroy the heart of the girl he loved, just for one taste of her.

 _"Why are we meeting him here?"_

Her eyes had narrowed. She was confused. Why did he too, that to her? He'd loved her. He still loved her. He was so stupid. He hated himself. He shook his head, his teary eyes still glued to the screen.

 _"I'm not sure; he just said he would be writing songs in the woods."_

Holy fuck," Tony let out a string of curse words. He felt his hand on his shoulder, Tony whispered to him, although it wasn't much of a whisper since his voice cracked, so Michael knew the small group around them had heard.

"Michael.. Is this how. Mike, you didn't? Is this memory? Is this how, how it happened?" Tony's voice cracked, "is this how you found him."

He didn't answer, his eyes could only be on Natalia right now. She looked concerned, glancing at her skeptically. That was normal for a fear landscape, but then the world around her seemed to darken.

No. No please make it stop. He knew his landscape hadn't been this bad. It hadn't been a memory, it hadn't been like this. Natalia shouldn't have to re-live this. He didn't want to re-live this. What he wanted to do was run away. But he couldn't. He had to watch her re-live this horrific event.

 _".. but I've never checked it out with him."_

Why hadn't he ever gone with him? Why hadn't he asked him more questions? His best friend's death was his fault. He should have been there for him. He should have been a better friend to him.

He watched the screen as Natalia stopped, his younger self-motioned for her to move along. No, he couldn't let her go. He internally screamed at his younger self.

FUCK. Michael felt himself tearing up. He was shaking his head again. "Michael," Tony said again. His friend's hand was still on his shoulder. "Michael is,"

He had been about to ask if their friend would be seen hanging in her landscape if that was how they'd found him, But he got his answer when a gasp broke out around them, and the young girl on the screen froze in horror.

"Oh my god," Tony whispered beside him. William hadn't been as close to Tony as Michael had been, but they had still been good friends. Tears were streaming Michael's cheek.

Michael waited for her scream.

The brain-numbing scream he'd never been able to get out of his head.

But it didn't come. There was no scream. Nope, but what came next was worse.

Michael watched with wide, watery eyes as this girl, the small weak girl he once loved dearly, the girl who has shown them all how strong she was in her time at Dauntless, had shown him how hardened she'd become because of this event, had to choose between the people she cared about most in this world.

His stomach rolled as he realized that he was one of them. He was one of the ones hanging that tree.

And then he realized that wasn't his younger self that was left hanging.

He shook his head covered his mouth, then quickly turned and pushed through the people around him and began vomiting in the closes trash can he could find.

The younger version of Michael had disappeared. What the figure now hanging in her landscape wasn't the stupid boy in one single day who had shown her love, then stood by and watched her life fall apart before his eyes. It wasn't the boy who had been too afraid to help pick up the pieces of her shattered life when William died. The one that had been too scared to face her, knowing that his best friend's death was partly his fault because he hadn't been there for him when it mattered.

It wasn't the boy who had made a promise to his best friend when they were children that he would always help watch over his sister. That he would always be there for her, no matter what faction they were in, then broke it.

The man on the screen was how he was now, his arms covered in dark black tattoos and muscles. And once his stomach was cleared and he leaned on Tony's shoulder as his friend dragged him out the door, he came to one last realization.

That although she hadn't chosen to save him in that landscape, he had been there, about to hang, right next to her family.

The guilt hit him like a wave because he knew that meant she still cared about him. Which meant maybe someday she could forgive him.


	27. Chapter 27 (Eric's POV)

*Sorry for the short chapter! Like I mentioned before the last one, there are a lot of plot twists coming up. Let me know what you think!

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Eric's POV

The last week had been torturous.

Stupid Four. Stupid fucking Four. Why did he have to go putting irrational thoughts in his head like this?

Eric had brought Natalia back to his apartment. And if someone had seen him, what was his excuse? A good buzz? Though a week had passed and no one had said anything to him.

Tori had been working on his tattoo only minutes before he'd pinned Natalia against a wall and could be a witness to the fact he was nowhere near inebriated, and the initiate definitely had been.

Which was BJ's fault? He'd had half a mind to tell that fucker to stay away from her, but he'd overheard him asking about Natalia yesterday so clearly it wasn't necessary if she was avoiding him too. That being said, if she did start something with him, Eric would be livid.

And not only that, but Natalia had only been in his apartment for a minute before slipping from his grasp and then she ran, literally ran, from his apartment. Like it was on fire.

And now, seeing what she'd been through with her brother.

Why did he even care? She was related to Jeanine; he shouldn't care! He didn't care.

Eric was standing over the chasm, a full bottle of whiskey in his hand. He had planned to get drunk, forget about every one of the initiates fears, some of which he shared with them, and their reactions, but after taking one sip, he found that he wasn't in the mood.

As a leader, he had to stand back and act as if this self-inflicted harm was perfectly fine with him. I mean, he understood that the landscapes were important to their training at Dauntless, but it didn't make it any easier to watch, especially since he'd been through it himself only years before.

And some of those fears weren't just fears, they were memories, like that little Dauntless girl's fear of heights, Kylie, who Max said had fallen off the very roof she had been forced to stand on the edge in her landscape when she was a child.

Or Natalia's, watching her brother hanging from a tree. Her worst fear was to lose the people she loved in the same way. Matthew had been hanging, that wasn't surprising, and her father. And Jeanine. Fucking Jeanine.

And Michael? It was clear that he'd hurt her in more ways than one. And although Eric wasn't a fan of watching a grown-ass man vomit in the trash after having to watch a video of the very thing he had probably tried for years to forget. Eric's blood boiled at the thought of what those two were doing before that event, because it was evident at this point that they'd been doing something alone. And thinking about that something left Eric grinding his teeth.

"Why is it that I always find you drinking above the chasm?" Heavy footsteps made their way toward him on the bridge. Four stood next to Eric and leaned forward on the railing. Four didn't say anything at first, just watched the water running below them, so Eric offered him the full bottle.

Four took it and took a few gulps, then made a face. Eric rarely saw him drink. When Four went to hand it back to him, he held his hand up in response. Four stared at him a moment then shrugged, taking another sip.

"So," Four started, "what did the leaders think of the initiates today?"

Eric stared at the water below as he explained who they thought were the top initiates after that day, he told him about the leaders. "Max thinks that transitioning between landscapes and fighting for the next few weeks will be good for them. Jackson thinks that it's taking away from the fights and that we need to focus on their strength and stamina before making them face their fears like it always has been. Surprisingly, Andrea agrees with Jackson."

Four nodded, "and Chris?"

"Doesn't give a shit so long as his kid stays in first and gets a good position immediately when he's through initiation."

"Hmm," Four nodded again. "And you?"

Eric tilted his head and looked at him out of the corner of his eye.

"I agree with Max," Eric told him.

Four smirked, "no surprise there."

Eric ignored number boys comment. "Though I do think that starting with their worst fear was a mistake."

Four waited for an explanation.

"Pushing them to the breaking point is what we have to do to ensure strong soldiers, but we can't expect them to be prepared immediately. Too much at once can fuck with their heads, and making them face their worst fear wasn't a good choice on our part. They're Dauntless now since no one is being cut." Eric shrugged again. "But that doesn't mean they are invincible right off the bat. They have to train more before they are ready to face the worst of their fears. It's like giving them one day to learn fighting techniques, then throwing them in the ring with both you and me at once."

Four smiled at him and contemplated his words before responding. "You know," he took a small sip from the bottle he was holding. "When you say shit like that it makes me realize how much you've changed in the past few years."

Eric didn't respond. He cared what number-boy thought of him just as much as he cared about what everyone else in this faction thought of him.

"It also makes me want to accept the offer Max gave me again last week. Maybe working with you wouldn't actually be all that bad." Eric looked at the man standing next to him again. Four's smile had disappeared.

"He doesn't think Thomas will make a good leader, so he offered the position to me again," Four explained. A frown covered his face, "Tris told me that doesn't want me to accept the position though."

"You shouldn't let some girl dictate your actions. Especially regarding your position in Dauntless." Judgment rang in Eric's voice.

Four chuckled, "I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one letting a girl influence my decisions and opinions, Eric."

Eric clenched his jaw and didn't respond.

"They put cameras in the stairwells a few weeks ago," Four explained.

Eric felt his heart leap into his throat. Fuck. This is what he got for skimming the paperwork Max had given him the past month. He needed an assistant. He was too overwhelmed.

"Most of the time, the footage isn't even usable. The lighting is too bad on the stairwell," Four explained. "They keep freezing too. Xavier, Gene, and Alexander will be coming over from Erudite sometime in the next few days to patch everything up. Unfortunately, the freezing has caused the cameras to stop recording at random times, so there are huge gaps in the recordings."

Eric stared ahead. Was Four telling him that he'd deleted the footage?

"Maybe leadership is a bad choice for you since you seem to be doing so wonderfully in your current position," Eric told him sarcastically.

"You know," Four said to him after pausing once again. "At first, I thought the reason no one made a big deal about Tris and I after finding out we were, involved before her initiation was over, was because we were both from Abnegation. But now, I think that it was because I changed after she came to Dauntless."

Four paused to see if Eric had anything to add. When he didn't, he continued.

"After she and I started dating," Four took another sip from the bottle. "For the first time in a long time, I cared about someone other than myself in a way that mattered, rather than just caring because it was my duty to."

Four handed Eric the bottle again. The leader took it but didn't take a sip. Eric didn't give a shit. Four and he weren't friends, so why was he telling him all this?

"There is nothing wrong with wanting her, not if it's for the right reasons. Not if it's because you care about her." Four told him.

Eric scoffed, the right reasons?

"If you actually did see what happened on the stairs, then I think you know why I'm interested in her," Eric smirked. "And it isn't because I care about her."

"Are you trying to convince me of that, or yourself?" Four asked him and turned his body so that he was facing his leader. "Deny it all you want Eric. I may not be Erudite, but I'm not stupid. Because I've seen the way you look at her, and it's the same way I look at Tris."

Eric went to speak again, to tell him that he was wrong, but Four interrupted him.

"Just go talk to her," Four told him and took the bottle out of his hand. "And do it sober."

Four pushed off the railing and began to walk away, but Eric called after him.

"Are you going to accept Max's offer?"

Four turned around and stared at the leader for a moment.

"How about this," he told him and raised the bottle, tipping it toward him. "If you not only admit to me that you are interested in Natalia, and not just because you want to sleep with her, and you do something about it, then I'll accept the position."

With that, number-boy turned to walk away, leaving Eric questioning everything that had happened in the past few weeks.

Before he turned the corner, Four turned back and yelled as he was walking backward, "I saw her walk into the stairwell of the Reid building not too long ago. My guess is that she's on the roof."

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	28. Chapter 28 (Natalia's POV)

**So the problem I've run into is that I have bits and pieces of the story written out, but they are too far apart to just jump into. So I have to write a bit more to connect them. Stay patient! It will be worth it. Please let me know if you find any mistakes so I can fix them. Thanks for reading!

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Natalia's POV

Natalia had only been on the roof for about five minutes when someone interrupted what she had hoped would be a good view of the beautiful sunset that she could enjoy alone.

She had found this gem a few days back when she'd been wandering the compound early in the morning. It was one of the best views in Dauntless. It was a small space though, and you had to crawl through a busted window, lift yourself up a ledge and skim along it, then climb, to get to it.

The perfect place to hide from Matthew, who was afraid of heights. She wasn't hiding from him, just wanted him to have a break from her. She couldn't use him as a crutch when he had his own training to worry about.

She was also afraid he'd pressure her to get back on her meds. Maybe she needed to though? The past week had proven that she was off. She hadn't wanted to be around anyone for the past week. And she was constantly thinking about how she wasn't Dauntless. She was weak, and she was an inconvenience. Did she have to rely on medication to keep her sane?

It made her blood boil just thinking about it.

At first, Natalia ignored the footsteps, but to her dismay hulking figure gracefully placed himself right beside her. She knew that it was Eric because the smell of coffee and cinnamon hit her head on, making her heart skip a beat.

It was frustrating that he had sat so close to her that their legs were touching. Especially when the ruthless leader didn't say anything, he just sat and waited for the sunset as if they had both planned to meet there. Sat there, as if they hadn't gone the past week acting as if the other didn't exist.

Should she say something? She knew that he was just going to tell her that she was weak. She wasn't Dauntless. Her minor panic attack post-landscape had proven that. What would her reaction be for all of her other fears?

"I cried after my first landscape."

Natalia's head snapped in her leader's direction. Had she heard him correctly? He didn't look at her, but he did cock his head to his side and sigh.

"Ophidiophobia," he said simply, as if she would know what that was. He kept his gaze forward but must have assumed by her silence that she didn't understand.

"The fear of snakes." She watched as he gulped, and glanced down to see that his hands were both making fists where they sat on his lap.

"They were everywhere, and I couldn't get away, no matter how hard I tried." Eric shook his head. "They felt so real, that I had nightmares for days, waking up feeling slimy scales tightening around my neck, arms, even my legs.

Why was he telling her this? She turned her head back toward the sunset.

"It took me weeks to get to the point that I was calm enough to assess the situation I was in, to handle it as a Dauntless would." He explained to her. She kept silent, but confusion racked her brain.

"My only save and grace during my initiation, and probably the only reason I was pushed into a leadership position, other than Jeanine's pressure to do so on Max, of course, was that I overcame two of my other fears during initiation, and one immediately following."

Natalia's mouth fell open. He'd overcome three of his fears during his first few months at Dauntless?

Was he only saying these things to try to make her feel better?

"I overcame both my agoraphobia and claustrophobia, two of the most common fears," he shrugged.

She turned her head forward just as he turned his gaze toward her for the first time since he'd sat down. His stare felt like a laser, making her skin turn pink and her stomach turn. She watched him out of the corner of her eye. Not being able to read his face was concerning, she wasn't used to it.

"Tell me about him," Eric said quietly. She looked at him, staring into his dark eyes questioningly. "Go on. His name was William, right?" he nodded to her.

What? He wanted to know about William? After he'd just told her that? Not many people asked about him, just how he died. The thought must have shown on her face because he spoke again.

"You'll probably never overcome a fear like that, not since its connected to a memory. Instead of focusing on his death, you should focus on his life." Eric paused and took a deep breath when she turned to him. His obsidian eyes were intoxicating.

"So, tell me about him." Eric kept his dark eyes glued to her as he said it, so she broke the gaze first and looked out off of toward the hues of orange shimmering above the rooftops in front of her.

Natalia hadn't expected that request. "Why do you care?" she asked him.

"You've asked me that many times before, you know," he contemplated his next words. "I've never answered because I haven't decided why. But, as I just told you, the more you focus on his life, rather than his death, the easier it will become to overcome that certain fear since it is associated with a memory," he explained.

"Tell me about him," he urged her when she didn't answer him immediately.

Natalia sighed, "He was my best friend," she told him.

"He protected me and looked after me. He treated me as if I was the center of his world. Not just me, but everyone, he was so good with people. As a kid, his optimistic attitude was infectious. And one he was older, he became the kind of man everyone loved, that everyone wanted to be around. He just had this way about him that brought people together. I spent most of my childhood with him and his tight-nit group of friends, all from different factions. He hated Candor just as much as I did, and realized that he had an aptitude for Dauntless at a young age." she paused, not knowing what else to say.

"How long ago?" Eric asked her. He already knew the answer to that question, but she answered anyway.

"Three years," her voice was quiet, "but it feels like just yesterday."

Her jaw was clenched as she stared forward, but she relaxed a bit as she felt him lean into her. "Keep going," he urged her again.

"In the weeks after it happened, I had severe insomnia. I functioned on barely any sleep and ate next to nothing. I had several panic attacks. I even questioned if life was even worth living." She gulped again. Should she really be telling him all of this? If not, it was too late now.

"After a while, it got a bit easier, once I stopped caring about everything. Eventually, my father had me put on medication. I think that Matthew had a lot to do with that decision. I stopped taking them because I realized that I had to face my own problems. I couldn't hide them with medication, and I couldn't run away from them like I wanted to. Most of the time I wish I could forget though. It would be easier that way" she told him.

Eric didn't say anything but was still leaning into her.

"Will you start taking your medication again?" Eric asked her.

Natalia tensed beside him and began to pull away. She hadn't expected that suggestion from him.

She had expected him to call her foolish, and weak. To tell her that she didn't belong here, just like he had when she and Matthew had first gotten here. And he would be right.

He turned toward her and continued. "Don't bother telling me that it is none of my business because I'm making it my business. The doctor who prescribed them to you is an old friend, and I ran into him when he was visiting Amity last week. And yesterday I contacted him and mentioned him how you'd been the past week, hell even that stupid tattoo kid was asking your cousin about you the other day. Your training may be going fine, but what about outside of that? You've been lethargic, avoiding your friends, avoiding me. After," Eric shook his head. "He said that is how it started last time and recommended that you take a lower dose."

"Why do you ca-," She began to ask him, but he snapped at her mid-sentence.

"Stop asking me that!" He stared at her for a moment before turning back to the sunset again.

Their legs and shoulders were touching again, making her gulp.

"Can we talk about something else?" she asked him. She didn't understand what was happening, or why he was sitting here, but she would worry about that later.

"Like what Candor?" Eric leaned back on his hands and swung his left leg up; his right remained by her side.

"I'm not Candor!" The words slipped out before she could think about the fact that the exclamation would leave her open for him to say she wasn't Dauntless either. Perhaps she didn't belong anywhere?

He didn't answer right away, so she turned her head to the side a bit to look at him out of the corner of her eye again. He was smirking.

"Why were you and your cousin talking about me the other day?" he asked her, finally changing the subject. "And what terrible things could you have to say about me that called for your whispering in foreign languages?"

The question surprised her. Matthew had mentioned him during their short dinner conversation, saying that it was strange how much of a distance he'd kept from their group during training that week. She'd only agreed and changed the subject as quickly as possible.

"Does it matter?" she asked him in the same dull voice.

"I'm merely curious," he replied

"Better be careful Eric, your Erudite is showing."

He snorted in response.

After a moment of silence, Natalia turned her head back to the sun, which was finally setting in front of them, and took her turn to change the subject.

"Each Dauntless leader works with a faction, right? Do you still work with Erudite?"

The leader didn't answer immediately, instead sat up and put his leg down again. She hoped he was looking at the sunset, rather than her, as his shoulder rubbed up against hers. Her face had to be red as a tomato.

"No. I haven't worked with Erudite for years," Eric replied quietly.

She decided to continue her questions, to see how far she could push whatever this was. What could it hurt?

"Who do you work with then? Andrea works with Candor, does Jackson work with Erudite?" she asked him.

He paused, and didn't look at her when he replied this time, "careful Tiger" he said, "your Erudite is showing."

Natalia's head snapped in his direction. She didn't care who he was, calling her Tiger was too far. There were VERY few people who were allowed to call her by the nickname that William and Michael had given her, and Eric was not one of them.

She clenched her jaw and replied to him with a deadly calm voice, "don't ever call me that again."

Eric turned his gaze back to her; she tried not to focus on the pink tinge of the sky that reflected against his piercings, and more on the glimmer of anger that flashed in his eyes.

"I'll call you whatever the fuck I want to call you initiate," he growled.

That went from zero to one hundred, fast. Did he get off on being a prick?

Natalia maintained her glare, "no, you won't."

She realized how close their faces were as he leaned in closer to her. She gulped. He was intimidating like this. Also, extremely attractive. Fuck. She shouldn't be thinking that. Not about him. Again.

"What are you going to do about it?" he said quietly, his eyes darkening more.

She smiled at him as menacingly as she could manage, two could play at that game. She leaned into him so that he had to shift his body toward her, replying quietly. "I don't think you don't want me to have to do anything about it."

"Then what should I call you?" he asked her and leaned forward.

Then he did something that she would have never expected, not in a million years.

He smiled at her.

And not just a smile, a genuine, wholehearted kind of smile.

He smiled as if he were enjoying her company as if they were friends. Not a ruthless Dauntless leader who was known for his cruelty, eliciting fear into just about everyone in his faction.

Natalia tried to force herself to look away, but she couldn't. It was mesmerising. And she realized it was his breath smelt like cinnamon and was turning her on beyond belief.

She squirmed as he closed the space between them by lifting his leg and pulling her toward him. It was unbelievable how fast he was, like a viper and its prey.

He leaned his head toward her "you can't think of anything else you'd like me to call you?" he asked her.

Natalia's insides felt like gelatin. When he leaned closer, so that he could speak into her ear, the stubble on his face rubbed against hers, eliciting a breathy "Eric" from her.

The leader chuckled into her ear. The noise reverberated down her spine. "That's my name," his lips touched her ear, and he pulled her closer so that her legs were fully on the roof.

"If I called you that, it would get confusing."

It was already confusing. And if Eric pulled any farther, she'd fall on top of him.

"I don't understand," she told him quietly. "Why are you doing this to me?"

Eric froze in his place and sat them both up abruptly. He didn't move her though, so her leg was still wrapped around his in an uncomfortable position.

He stared at her a moment before answering.

"Why are you, doing this to me?" He asked accusingly.

She was starting to learn that he used his eyes as a weapon as the dark orbs bore into hers.

Silence filled the space between them. She noticed that the sky was darkening around them slowly, causing shadows on the walls. It made her shiver.

Natalia pulled her legs away from the leader and folded them. She rested her elbows on her thighs and leaned her head on them.

"You don't think I'm weak?" She was glad that her voice didn't waver.

"No," he told her, his voice devoid of emotion.

When she didn't acknowledge his answer, he spoke again.

"If it were anyone else, I think that I would," he shook his head and looked down to her legs. She didn't think he was actually seeing her though, more like looking through her.

Silence again.

"I should go," she started to stand, but he reached out and grabbed her wrist. She stared at him; his expression was blank again.

"Go back on your depression medication." His voice was emotionless. "Start it again tonight. The lower dose in the infirmary already. Ask for a girl named Vanessa."

Natalia nodded at him.

He used her arm to pull himself up, then rolled her wrist, so he was looking at her tattoos. She remembered his fear of snakes.

"Why are these eyes blank?" he asked her, his eyes narrowing as he leaned down as if the dark was playing tricks on his eyes.

"These two," she pointed to the snakes with the blue and brown eyes, "represent William and Matthew. The two people I will never stop loving."

Eric stood straight and looked at her questioningly; he didn't drop her wrist, so she stared at his hand.

"Maybe, the others will represent someone else's eyes someday." Natalia thought for a moment about her friends. Callie, Andrew, Justin, Jacob, Mac, Daniel, and the others. How long would they be in her life? Would any of them mean that much to her someday? Did she really mean anything to them, as Andrew has suggested earlier? "Gives me something to look forward to I suppose."

"Only five?" Eric rolled her wrist over again and rubbed his thumb on one of the empty snakes. She nodded in response.

"There's not much room in my heart either." He whispered, his voice sorrowful.

Natalia looked up at the leader, but his gaze was still on the snakes that wrapped her wrist and forearm.

"How many would you have?" She wasn't sure that she'd even said it out loud, it was so quiet.

Eric scrunched his eyebrows as he contemplated the question.

"I don't know," he said quietly, leaving his mouth open as if he were going to continue.

Natalia waited. She realized that his thumb was still rubbing the same snake softly, sending her heart into overdrive.

"Maybe, I'll find out someday," he said it in the same tone she had, then raised his dark eyes back to hers. "Problem is, I haven't found a way to overcome the fear that comes second to snakes, Philophobia. Probably because until now, I hadn't found someone worth trying to overcome it for."

Eric dropped her hands and gave her a light smile, then scooted past her. She watched in silence as he slid himself down to the ledge gracefully and disappeared around the corner of the building.

Philophobia? She didn't know much about phobias, or their names, but she knew what that one was. It was the fear of love, or perhaps falling in love.

And what exactly did he mean when he said until now?

Natalia made her way to leave the small rooftop, more confused than the last few encounters she'd had with them. At least he'd been drinking then, but this? What the hell was this?

Once she hopped off the ledge and crawled through the broken window, into the empty building. She felt the need to speak to Matthew. Not about this, because she wasn't even sure what this, was.

Just talk. About anything. She was going to go find him, hopefully he was alone.

But first, she was going to stop by the infirmary because even though she didn't want to start back on the medication, she knew that her snake's eyes might never be filled with color if she didn't.

..

..


	29. Chapter 29 (Matthew's POV)

**I'll try to update more in the next few weeks, but I've got a hectic schedule so no promises! As I've said before, please let me know if you find any grammatical mistakes, as I don't edit as well as I should. Also, I've written this over a long period and mess up names and dates, so feel free to point those out as well! Thanks for reading; enjoy! **

Matthew's POV

Watching his best friend go through such a traumatizing event had been one of the worst moments of Matthew's life, and watching her re-live it, not just her, but actually seeing what she had seen, had left him in shock. He knew that both Natalia and Michael had been the ones to find William, but he hadn't known that it had happened like that.

It was horrifying and heartbreaking. Especially when Matthew had realized that Michael and Tony were watching right along with the rest of them.

After spending nearly half an hour with her in silence, he had left to face his landscape. He had ignored the eyes that were glued to him as he sat in the chair his cousin had sat in and drank the disgusting liquid their trainer handed him. Surprisingly his worst fear was not one that was similar to his cousin, but Claustrophobia. The fear of confined spaces.

Matthew's reaction had been very much like hers and those before him though. He came out of his landscape on the verge of a panic attack. But he'd managed well enough.

"There you are." Matthew turned his head to see that it was Natalia who was speaking, she was walking toward him with her hands in the pocket of her leather jacket. He smiled when he realized it was Callie's. That was a good sign.

"If I'd known you were looking for me, I would have gone to a more public place," he told her. He had been sitting in a hidden area a few hallways from the pit. Close enough to hear the commotion of Dauntless, but far enough that it was hard for people to run into him.

People like Elizabeth, who had been trying to talk to him, again.

Though to be fair, he had kissed her the other night. He'd been drinking with Mac, Daniel, and Andrew and had wandered off for five minutes to find a bathroom, but ended up pinned against the wall by the very person he'd tried so hard to hate over the past few years. He'd liked her growing up, and she had taken his virginity –though he hadn't taken hers- but his mother had hated her, so he'd ended up ending it quickly. Since then he'd made it a point to try to hate her. He'd never imagined that she'd end up in Dauntless though. He has yet to tell Natalia about the kiss, or about the fact that he and Elizabeth had a past.

"Andrew pointed me this way," Natalia explained and sat down across from her. He watched her as she crossed her legs and leaned back against the wall.

"How-," He began to ask her how she was, but she held her hand up to stop him.

"Before you ask me how I am, I want you to know that I'm," she paused. "I'm not okay." He leaned forward until she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small grey bottle, he recognized it immediately as one of the ones that held pills.

"Eric asked me to go on a lower dose of the depression medication," she explained quietly. "I agreed. But that's the only one. And I'm only doing it because, well," she shrugged in defeat.

Matthew observed her. Eric. She had said, Eric. She had also said asked, not told. He'd have to ask her more about that later.

"I'll be okay," she smiled faintly and nodded, pulling up her sleeve. "I've decided I'd like to fill the rest of these eyes. It might take a awhile, but, I get it. I can't keep doing this. I don't want what happened last time, not now. I want to live here and be happy."

"A worthy goal," Matthew returned her smile.

"I know," Natalia leaned back again and pulled her sleeve down. "I'm sorry."

Matthew shook his head and scooted himself forward, grabbing her hands in his.

"Don't you ever apologize to me again," he told her sharply. "You're my best friend; and my only family. I'm here for you no matter what."

Natalia stared at him, so he smiled and leaned back, narrowing his eyes in question.

"Do you think the medication will help me stop being such a wimp?" she asked him.

Matthew couldn't contain his laugh, "you are not a wimp!"

"Yes, I am," she argued and grinned at him. "Seriously? Just this morning I was a wreck, and don't say it's because of that memory because I've seen that memory in a thousand of my nightmares." Her grin disappeared slowly as she spoke.

"I've never reacted like that. And yes, seeing you hanging like that and seeing-," Natalia paused and looked down.

"The other people you care about hanging was ten million times worse than those nightmares?" Matthew finished for her.

"I don't care about them though," she explained, though she didn't sound confident.

Matthew sighed. He loved Natalia so much, and despite being one of the smartest people he knew, she was quite good at avoiding the inner-workings of her mind. Her father's shit and the Michael mess had left her with some serious trust issues, and it drove him up the walls that she couldn't see that.

"That wasn't seventeen-year-old Michael hanging in your fear-landscape Natalia." Matthew explained to her. "But you know that already. It was him, as he is now. And there is nothing wrong with that."

"I don't love him anymore though," she told him, shaking her head.

"You don't love him in the same way you did," he told her. "I mean, I'm no expert on love, but I do know that you still see him as your family. I know, well, I hope, that you will never forgive him to the point of giving him a second chance at that kind of love you felt when you were younger, but you and William both cared about him too much for you not to forgive him enough to be friends eventually."

Natalia stared at him curiously, so he smiled.

"He and I slept together," she told him.

Matthew's heart skipped a beat.

He hadn't expected that to be her next words.

Hell, he hadn't even expected to hear that at all in her life. He thought the only person that she'd been with was Nolan.

"That morning, we'd met up, and," she stopped and gulped. "That's what we were going to tell William. That he and I were together. And, I knew that it would have never worked, because he was going to be here, and I was going to be in Erudite, with you. I knew back then, and I just didn't care. I never told you that, and I should have."

Matthew didn't know what to say. Minutes ago, he'd known that after seeing Michael among the people she cared about meant that he would be welcomed back into her life in time, even if she didn't realize it herself, but now.

Now he wanted to throw something.

Punch something.

Punch him.

"It had been my idea, my doing. I know that doesn't excuse him for avoiding me, never speaking to me again after we found William, but I think he felt guilty. I know I did." She said quietly. "I don't think I'll be forgiving him anytime soon though, even if somewhere deep down I do care about him just a little."

Matthew leaned his head back and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"I need a drink," he told her. "No, a lot of drinks. I need a lot, of drinks. And so, do you." He stood up and leaned his hand down to help her out. "C'mon Tiger, training isn't until ten tomorrow, and you're not going to spend another night running on a treadmill like a rat in a lab."

"You're not mad?" she asked him as she took his hand. Her blue eyes were shining against the lights, and Matthew knew how important it was that he not be angry.

He shook his head. "No, why would I be. I mean, you and I have never really talked about your sex life before right, save for Nolan. Which, by the way, I still don't get," he put his arm around her as she walked. "Your taste in guys has always been more Dauntless; Michael, that boy in our mathematics class two years ago who transferred to Erudite, Hans, I think? Xavier," he smiled.

"Speaking of Xavier," she said quietly.

Matthew stopped in his tracks and turned toward her, "please tell me you didn't sleep with him too?"

Natalia stared at him with wide eyes, "it was an accident?"

Was that a question?

An accident?

Was she joking?

"When?" he said incredulously.

"Um, that doesn't really matter," she shook her head and started walking down the hall briskly.

"Excuse me? Yes, it does! He was a full-member of Erudite Natalia. That could have gotten both of you in serious trouble, even if you did plan on going there."

"I know, I know," she explained waving her arms as she spoke. "We were just drinking wine, and he was cute, and one thing led to another.."

Matthew interrupted her, "he got you drunk first?"

Natalia turned to him and giggled.

Matthew couldn't contain his smile. He hadn't heard her laugh like that in a very long time.

"No, of course not! We were both drinking and I just sort of threw myself at him, okay?" she said. "Don't be mad, please? It was," she tilted her head, trying to hide her smile by squishing her mouth together.

"It was what?" he demanded and folded his arms.

He was trying to sound serious, but it wasn't easy when she was trying not to laugh at him. She had no idea how much she was like William in that sense; when she laughed, the rest of the world wanted to laugh with her. People flocked to her, just like they had him. It used to make him jealous, but after the past few years, he'd seen it less and less. At least until they came to Dauntless.

"Rough," she said simply, nodding her head and raising her head as if she remembered it vividly.

The first thought to cross his mind was; "gross."

The second thought to cross his mind was; "seems fitting."

It made him want to laugh and cry. Natalia was his cousin but was more like a sister.

"Rough?" he questioned.

"Rough," she nodded and grinned. "I really enjoyed it."

Matthew couldn't contain his laughter, not after that. Rough? Of all the things she could say, she said rough?

"Stop laughing at me," she told him and pushed him lightly.

"Drink," he said between laughs, wiping a tear away. "I need a drink, seriously."

Natalia rolled her eyes and walked away from him, "if you want more details just let me know."

Matthew started laughing again and followed.

He absolutely did not, want details.


	30. Chapter 30 (Natalia's POV)

**So, I'm focusing on Natalia and Matthew for a bit because what you are about to read is very important to the rest of the story. I promise that in the next chapter or two I will get back to her and Eric! :] **

Natalia's POV

..

A day had passed, and most of the initiates were as exhausted as her. They had done nothing but train, all day, and it had been brutal. Obstacle courses, punching bags, sprinting, weights, one, after another, again, and again, until her legs felt like jello.

Once she'd left the roof after her encounter with Eric, Natalia had been even more confused than before. And after her talk with Matthew and they'd wandered to go drink, they'd lasted barely an hour, too exhausted to stay out.

She'd spent the entire day with Matthew.

Thankfully, he hadn't asked her about Michael again, so that was nice, she supposed.

And thankfully, she hadn't seen Eric the entire day, so that was also nice, she supposed.

Nice. Nice. Nice.

Natalia sighed, listening to her cousin and his best friend talk as they walked down the dark hallway. She knew avoiding her problems wasn't the best option, but focusing on training was what she needed to do for now. Nothing but training. No boys. Nothing.

"Yuck, I hate physicals," Anthony said. "And the fact that they're making us do them after today's training? Why?"

Matthew nodded and put her arm around the both of them, then nodded toward her. "I know you do too Tiger. Want me to offer to be in the room if they try to give you shots? At least for the second half?"

She nodded, yes, yes she did. Shots were the worst.

Once they arrived at the building, Natalia found herself surprised that the building they were in was so bright.

She was lost in thought as Matthew guided her toward the doctor.

"Earth to Natalia, woo-hoo?" he raised a hand in front of her face. "You've been out of it all day. I thought you got enough sleep last night? What time did you get up this morning?"

She glared at him. "I'm serious, not getting enough sleep isn't healthy. I'll bet the doctor says the same thing."

Natalia was more than annoyed to find out that the doctor, did, in fact, say the same thing.

And now, after answering embarrassing questions in front of Matthew while he had a shit-eating grin on his face and reminded her that he was going to work in the infirmary anyways, she was getting blood drawn.

It made her want to stab someone.

The man holding the needle would probably be the victim of that stabbing.

"It's mandatory, we have to have a few vials of blood so we can do tests and make sure you are healthy. It's normal procedure," the physician explained.

Natalia glared at him, then glanced to Matthew.

She hated needles.

God, did she detest needles!

"Why is she so pale? She looks like she's going to pass out. How much blood did you take from her?"

Natalia woke to her cousin snapping at the physician.

"I didn't take that much! Look at her, she's exhausted, how much sleep did you say she's been getting?"

"You're a doctor you are supposed to know how to draw blood," Matthew said sternly to the physician. The doctor had grabbed a black marker from his bag and was cleaning up.

Watching him made her dizzy.

Natalia felt another wave of nausea and let out a small moan.

"Hey!" she heard Matthew snap again, "who the fuck gave you this position? You just wrote the wrong blood type on that, did you even bother to check her file?" he exclaimed to the doctor, pushing him out of the way to stop the blood that was about to flow into her body. Her mind was fuzzy, but she understood well enough.

"Of course, I did you little brat," the doctor snapped back at him. "A-, it says right here in her file."

No. No that wasn't right. Her blood type was O+. She and Matthew had snuck into one of the labs and done testing out of curiosity a few years ago.

Natalia almost smiled at the thought of their strange hobbies but held it back so she could focus.

"No, this isn't right, it isn't even her full file anyways." Matthew said quizzically, "test her blood, now." The doctor grabbed the file back, "her file can't be wrong, perhaps you just don't know everything about your-"

Natalia's mind went fuzzy again, and she passed out again.

"She's awake," Matthew was sitting next to her, holding her hand. "I told you the file was wrong."

Natalia glanced at the doctor, who was shaking his head, "I don't understand how this could have happened."

"Yeah, well I'm not sure either, but it was." Matthew turned to her with a smile, "are you okay? But seriously you've got to get over your fear of needles because that was dramatic. I mean, I over-reacted too," he admitted. "But seriously?"

Natalia nodded to him and drank the juice he'd given her. After she felt better, the doctor stood from his seat. Matthew stopped him from leaving after he said he was getting their leaders.

"Do you really want them involved? Because I know for a fact if my mother hears about this incident, she'll have you knocked out of your position and on sanitation duty. Hell, I'll probably even recommend it myself."

The doctor shook his head in disbelief and told them he'd look into updating her file immediately.

Instead, Matthew told him he'd keep quiet if he did it discreetly. The man looked relieved and thanked him, and Natalia watched on in wonder.

After the doctor left the room, Matthew turned to her and whispered quietly, "can you access the medical files in Erudite through this? And if so, how quickly? There is a computer in the room next door."

She stared at him in disbelief. Was he serious? They'd been in Dauntless for barely two weeks, and he was asking her to hack into Erudite's computer system?

"Consider it an early birthday gift to me," he grinned. "I just want to know who messed up, that's all. Not to get them fired, but for curiosity's sake."

"No, no way Matthew," she shook her head and sat up quickly.

"C'mon! How many times did I sit by why you hacked into the security cameras because you were curious about something? Do this for me?" he pleaded, feigning a pouty face.

She glared at him, "even if I wanted to, it would take me at least ten minutes."

"I'm sure I could buy you that much time, say that you're still feeling shaky from the needle," he rolled around in his chair and she stared at his back.

When he turned back toward her, he raised his eyebrows. "What? They'll get it, and probably figure that it can't be worse than your reaction to your first simulation?"

The two of them snuck out the room, and Matthew inched down the hallway. She waited until he came back and told her that there were still a few initiates left, so they had time, then pushed her into the room.

She shook her head and pushed him to the side, sitting on the stool in front of the computer.

This was insane.

It was one thing to look at security cameras in Erudite, especially since that was going to be her job, but looking up secured medical files from Dauntless? How much trouble could that get her in?

Though, they were her files, so, maybe not much?

Fuck it.

She cracked her knuckles before giving him one last look. He nodded and motioned her forward in encouragement, so she put her hands on the keys and started searching for what he was looking for.

After fifteen minutes, however, they came to the realization that her full medical file was nowhere to be found.

"I don't understand," she said quietly. "It's not in Candor's, or Erudites, or Dauntless's files. Max had the portion of it that had my medications, this," she motioned to the small file on the desk, "has basic stuff, and the physical form. Where the hell is my full file?"

"Where the hell is mine?" he asked her, tapping the screen.

"What do you mean?" she leaned forward and watched him repeat the steps she'd done before.

"Mine is gone too, look," he moved to the side and she looked again.

Once she realized it was nowhere to be seen, she backed out of the files and covered her tracks. Realizing it was going to take her longer than expected, she told him to go back out so no one questioned them.

As soon as she'd finished, there was a loud knock on the door. She stood up abruptly and exited it, telling the doctor she was fine and had needed to sit for a moment, and all but ran back to the lobby. Thankfully, no one else noticed. She wasn't sure how, but she didn't quite care.

Matthew looked at her knowingly before they left, and she knew he wasn't going to let this go.

Not by a long shot.

..

..

..

"Matthew! You said we were going back to the pit!" Natalia pushed her cousin back with a grin. They'd been drinking for hours, and she was feeling on top of the world. It was just past lunchtime, and they were supposed to be meeting their friends soon in the pit.

Natalia wondered if she'd see Eric. She hadn't seen him all day, or the day before. And since then, she'd gone over their conversation on the roof the night before last over and over in her head. It was driving her insane.

On the plus side, she felt better today than she had in weeks.

"I know I know! But I wanted to talk to you," Matthew told her as they walked.

"About whaaat?" she said, taking a sip from the bottle and walking backward.

"About Michael," he said, then laughed when she made a face at him. "I'm serious, he pulled me aside in the hallway earlier, and I just kept walking. I need to know what you want me to do if he tries to talk to me again."

Natalia snorted and took another sip, "what do you want to do?"

"Punch him," he said thoughtfully, nodding his head. "A few times, actually. Maybe throw something at him, yell a little."

She laughed knowing there was nothing she'd want to see more. Michael deserved a good punch in the face, from both of them. "Do it!"

"Do it?" he said enthusiastically. "Don't tempt me," he waggled a finger at Natalia and pushed her down the hallway.

She followed joyfully, but after a few minutes of walking, she realized she didn't know where they were.

"Matthew, where are we going? This is not how we are supposed to be celebrating your birthday. And you did say you wanted to celebrate."

"You'll see," he motioned her forward and grabbed the bottle from her hands.

She did see after he pushed her through a random door and into what looked like an office. Who's office? Who the hell knew.

There was an older looking computer on the back wall, covered in dust and looking like it hadn't been touched in years.

"I think it's in Erudite's files. Like, my mother's files."

He was insane.

"No," she turned to him.

"Yes," he told her and pushed her across the room.

"Absolutely not." she paused and looked back to the computer. "On this hunk? It'll take me twice as long to decode the passwords and get into the system, and it will be nearly impossible to cover my steps, Matthew."

"Don't lie to me. You're fantastic with this kind of thing," Matthew shook his head and grinned. "Plus, we've got plenty of time. We aren't meeting up with the guys and Callie for like another hour and a half."

"Matthew," she said hesitantly.

"Natalia," he pleaded and feigned a pouty face. "I don't know why, but I just have this feeling that I have to know why your file was wrong. Please? Just, try? It's my birthday remember. Just because you don't want to celebrate yours doesn't mean I'm not going take advantage of the fact that I am allowed to really celebrate mine for the first time ever!"

"I swear to god if I get kicked out of Dauntless for this, I'm dragging you to be factionless with me."

..

..

Thirty-five minutes.

It had taken Natalia thirty-five minutes to figure out how to get through the system through this piece of shit computer. It wasn't old-old, but old enough to be slow as fuck.

And now that she was in, looking at Erudite's confidentially files, like an idiot.

It took another ten minutes to find what she was looking for.

She was less than thrilled to find that Matthew had been wrong because it meant she was wasting her time.

Their files were nowhere to be found.

"Are we done now?" she said. "Because this is crazy. And although I think I covered my steps, I don't want to waste any more time here."

"No," Matthew shook his head. When she turned to him, she realized that he'd sobered up as much as she had. His expression was serious, and it was the same one she'd seen a million times when they'd studied together. "I want you to go back into Candor's files."

She shook her head and let out a sound of annoyance.

"Why?"

Matthew smiled at her weakly, but it didn't match his eyes.

"Just do it," he lifted his head in encouragement. So, she did.

And she found her mother's file.

And she found her father's file.

And she opened them side by side.

And though she didn't understand at first what was wrong, the look on Matthew's face told her that something, was, in fact wrong.

Natalia turned and stared at her cousin.

"Matthew? What am I supposed to be looking at?"

"Their blood types Natalia," his voice was quiet, barely a whisper.

She turned back to the computer and narrowed her eyes, searching the document for what she needed, which she found easily.

Her father's blood type read A-.

Okay?

Her mother's blood type read, AB+?

No? That couldn't be right.

That was impossible.

Impossible.

Natalia barely remembered backing out of Candor's files. And while she did, Matthew hadn't moved from the position he'd been sitting in. His head in his hands, looking to the ground. Silent, and frozen in his chair.

When she was done, she leaned back in the chair and stared at the blank screen for a while before turning to him.

"Matthew?" she whispered.

"It's not possible," he finally moved, and Natalia realized that his eyes were bleary. "Right?"

Natalia didn't know what to say, so just watched him.

Because it wasn't possible; it couldn't be possible.

She looked over his features.

People had always said that they'd looked like each other, always looked like more than cousins.

With their bright blue eyes, blonde hair, and sharp features.

People had always told them they could be siblings.

Siblings.

But that would be absurd.

And impossible.

But, if Jamie-Lynn's blood really type was AB+.

And her father's was A-.

Then that meant that they could never have a child with the blood type O.

And hers was O+. And Matthews was O+.

And Jeanine's was O+.

But she was her father's daughter. She knew that because every child's DNA is matched to their parent's when they are born when it is placed on their birth certificate. But Jamie Lynn's was never put on her birth certificate because she was pronounced dead when Natalia had been cut from her body.

And Matthew never had a father, because his mother hadn't created him naturally. Jeanine had chosen an anonymous sperm donor.

But how could someone cover something like this up?

It was crazy. Impossible.

Blonde hair.

Blue eyes.

The way they clenched their jaws when they were annoyed, or angry.

"Natalia," a tear fell down Matthew's face as he spoke. "Natalia, are we twins?"


	31. Chapter 31 (Natalia's POV)

*Don't be mad at me for this chapter; this is a part of the story I promise it's going somewhere! :] Thank you for the reviews (especially LunasChild2016 and Mmelody6), you guys rock!*

..

..

Natalia's POV

Natalia and Matthew had spent nearly twenty minutes in silence before he stood up, pulled her into a hug, and told her that he was going to go to the roof to be alone for a bit. Something she could understand more than anyone.

She could tell he was angry. And why wouldn't he be?

Neither of them knew if it was true or not, and it was likely they never would unless they asked Jeanine if it was, but she had to admit that the signed pointed toward the likely fact that they were siblings, not cousins.

She looked down and kicked small rocks as she walked down the dimmed hallway, feeling angry and energized all at once. She wanted to run, or throw something, or, just, something to get this anger and the sudden surge of energy out.

As she turned a corner, she slammed into something large, looking up to find the one and only; Eric fucking Coulter.

No. Nope. This was the last person she wanted to see right now.

"Shouldn't you be with your little cousin and your friends celebrating?" Eric asked her sourly. The way he was looking at her, glazed eyes and a menacing glare on his face, made her want to vomit. The other night he had been on the roof with her, saying all those things, and now he was angry with her? What the actual fuck.

"What's wrong little initiate?" Eric said, his voice seething.

"What the hell is your problem?" She hissed at him. Because seriously, this was the last straw. She wasn't going to play games with him. "One moment you're pining me against the wall and kissing me like your fucking life depended on it, the next your pissed off, calling me initiate again, then the process just repeats!"

"My problem is you," he stepped toward her and leaned down. This time, however, the look on his face actually frightened her. "Did you really think that I was interested in you, little initiate? Out of everyone in this fucking faction?"

"You sure seemed interested when you pinned me-," she started to hiss at him, but he interrupted.

"Lapse of judgment, won't be happening again, I can promise you that," he pulled away and strode past her.

She growled in frustration as she watched him walk away.

What the fuck was his problem?

Leading her on, then saying he doesn't want her, again, and again? She was fucking tired of it.

Fucking Christ. She needed a shower. A long, hot, shower.

..

..

Natalia stood in the shower; the water cranked as hot as she could get it. She couldn't stop thinking about him. That asshole who dared to lead her on, make it seem as if he were interested, then told her off like that?

And out of nowhere?

Screw him.

Screw Eric fucking Colter.

And screw thinking about him.

Although, that was not easy to do, considering she'd spent the past day craving the touch of a man. Him, actually.

But nope. Not anymore. Not him.

She'd never had that sort of problem; a constant craving... Not this bad at least.

This was the first time she'd had privacy the entire time at Dauntless, since most the time when she tried to shower, someone else was in the bathroom or the dorm-rooms right next door.

The entire bathroom was steamy, and it was making it worse.

Fuck it. Everyone was upstairs at dinner or somewhere else… No one would be coming down for at least a half-n-hour. She had to take advantage of privacy when she could get it.

Natalia opened her eyes and turned, so her back was against the wall, then moved the shower head, so it fell on her body. Natalia slid her hand down and started touching herself, letting the water run down her naked body.

She closed her eyes again and leaned her back, reveling in the feeling.

It'd been weeks since she'd been able to do something like this. Her mind slipped away to the bodies she'd had to watch in the gym the past two weeks, trying to avoid the thought of the ruthless leader that kept fucking with her head. So many of the other men at Dauntless were in shape, even some of the initiates she'd been training with. It was hard not think of how great it'd feel to…

"Oh, Shit!"

Natalia's eyes snapped open to find that Jacob was standing only feet from her, a towel around his waist, eyes wide and a look of shock on his face.

She covered her body, or at least the best that she could, and knew her face was bright red. Though, that could have been a mix of the hot water and the embarrassment.

"Oh my God! I didn't know anyone was here," he lifted his eyes up to block her from view and turned to the side. "That's why I'm here because everyone's at dinner and I wanted privacy too, um, shower, like you, and, um."

Natalia watched him with amusement as he lifted his hands and covered his face he leaned against the wall and turned away, mumbling under his breath.

She'd grown up in Candor, and although she valued privacy and was much more conservative than many of the kids she'd been around, she'd seen and heard just about everything. So, this wasn't all that bad, right?

She started chuckling to herself; Jacob was brave because he hadn't left the bathroom, though, it was probably because he was in shock. She wondered what Eric would do if he had caught her touching herself in the shower?

No. Nope. Screw Eric. He didn't want her. And who cares if he didn't want her?

She could do better than that asshole; he was cruel and ruthless.

She didn't want someone like that anyways, someone with such a reputation.

Fuck it.

"Join me, if you want?" Natalia said bravely, turning around to face the water. It had cooled a bit, so she turned it hotter once again, reveling in its heat and the steam that came with it.

"What?" Jacob questioned quietly. She barely heard him over the water.

"You said you wanted to shower because no one else was here," Natalia said and looked up at the shower head, moving her face out of the water as she spoke. "Meaning you're probably having the same issues with finding the privacy as I am," she closed her eyes again. Her voice was quiet, but it seemed so loud in the empty bathroom, "well, what do what, I was just doing."

A silence ensued between them for nearly half a minute, until she heard footsteps. Jacob stopped when he was right behind her.

"So, join you?" he asked her.

Natalia could feel his eyes on her, probably looking at the tattoos she desperately wanted someone to touch.

"Mhm, if you want." Natalia waited under the water, and yet again he gave her silence.

Her heart sank, maybe he didn't want her either? Or maybe he just wasn't as brave as she thought. It wasn't like she was asking him to marry her, just, fooling around? Or maybe he didn't get that.

Natalia opened her eyes again when she felt a hand on her side, just above her hip. The hand slid its way up and around her, following the tiger-tattoo that wrapped around her body. His other hand landed on her other hip, and she moaned when she felt his torso on her back. He'd barely grazed her, but it sent a thrilling wave down her entire body.

"There is nothing more that I could want right now," Jacob whispered in her ear and pushed her forward so that he was under the water too. She put a hand up against the wall, so she didn't fall forward when Jacob brushed her hair over one shoulder and kissed her neck.

His other hand moved slowly down her stomach, pausing at her piercing. She felt his smirk on her neck as he continued moving his hand down.

"Now, where were you?" his voice was husky against her ear.

When his hand finally made it to its destination, he began rubbing her in a slow pattern.

Natalia moaned and pushed back off the wall, reaching to put a hand on his thigh, and the other on the arm that was touching her.

"Fuck," she moaned. This is what she wanted. What she needed.

Screw Eric. No, she opened her eyes. No thinking of him. Jacob. This was Jacob.

Jacob was better than Eric. He was Amity-born, so he had to be like Nolan, right? But he was also in first place among the initiates, so he was definitely Dauntless.

That was the kind of guy she needed. Not an asshole who didn't even want her.

Natalia pulled away and turned her body, so she was leaning against the wall again, pulling him in for a kiss with one hand and the other moving down to his torso.

She'd noticed before now what amazing shape he was in, but being this close? Damn.

His hand traveled back to where it was as they kissed, so she moved hers down too, grabbing him in her hand and rubbing slowly.

Jacob moaned on her lips and moved his hand down, moaning again when he found how easy was to slide his fingers into her.

The two of them stayed in that position until she stopped touching him because she was squirming with pleasure. He pushed her harder against the wall and whispered words of encouragement as she finished, slowing and holding her up as she panted and tried to slide to the ground. She reached up and grabbed around his shoulders, kissing him hard.

"Fu-uck Talia," Jacob mumbled on her lips, making smile and chuckle.

He pushed her hard against the wall again and kissed her forcefully.

Yep, this was definitely what she needed.

Once he slowed the kiss down, she pushed him off and slid to her knees, looking up at his wide eyes as she did. She smiled at him mischievously.

"Your turn."


	32. Chapter 32 (Natalia & Matthew's POV)

Natalia's POV

..

Natalia's eyes snapped open when she heard voices. Blocking her from their view was Jacob, sleeping peacefully.

"Told you they were all in probably in bed," Daniel whispered.

Natalia heard a slam, and a stream of curse words as someone ran into their bed. She heard other beds moving around the room and the showers and sinks running from the bathroom.

"Matthew's passed out," Callie chimed in. "Guess he was too tired to celebrate with us." Natalia could hear the bitterness in her voice though. Of course, she would be bitted, they had promised to spend the night with them.

"Anyone want to explain when that started though," Mac asked.

Natalia closed her eyes quickly. She knew he was talking about her, snuggled up against Jacob, pushed against the wall in his bunk underneath a Dauntless-born named Jessica. They had come here after showering and dressing. Neither of them had talked, nor had they done anything outside the shower, which was perfect. He sort of reminded her of Nolan, just a bit rougher around the edges Exactly what she needed.

She wondered if Matthew had woken up because of the noise. Or if he had even been asleep.

"I told you she was into hippies. She was with Nolan, and he transferred to Amity," Justin explained.

"Andrew?" Callie whispered.

"Who the hell cares?" Andrew said, his voice at a normal volume rather than a mock-whisper. Jacob stirred next to her, then leaned over and pulled her close. He started snoring quietly after he'd settled.

Someone let out a low whistle.

"You can do better than that anyways Andrew," Callie said quietly.

"Good time to finally make a move Cal," Mac teased. A few mumbles and chuckles broke out.

"Screw off Mac," Callie mumbled.

Natalia snuggled closer to Jacob, wishing more than anything that she didn't have to share the entire room with them. The privacy she'd earn once she was done with initiation couldn't come soon enough.

..

..

..

Matthew's POV

Anger.

That's all Matthew felt as he punched the bad swinging in front of his face.

He'd gotten barely any sleep since he'd left Natalia the night before. Since realizing that they might be twins. The fact that she'd been curled up next to Jacob hadn't even bothered him because he was so distracted. If anything, it helped.

It made sense.

It made so much fucking sense it made his blood boil.

He wanted to throw things. Not just throw things, but throw things at his mother.

His fucking mother. Of all the things she'd done, this was by far the worst.

Matthew knew that Natalia probably still had her doubts. She was probably wondering if maybe they just had the same father, and that she wasn't actually Jeanine Matthew's child. Lord knew he didn't want to be her child right now.

But he knew it was true. He'd always felt like Natalia was more than his cousin; she'd always been like a sister to him. And he'd always felt at home around her and William.

William. If this was true, he and William weren't cousins, they were half-brothers.

Matthew let out a growl of frustration and punched the bag as hard as he could. What the actual fucked up kind of shit was this?

And her father? No, THEIR father. How could he have spent a life in Candor, like a fucking leader, with a secret like this? Candor was a joke.

Matthew turned toward the door when he heard the crowd of people come in. He walked over to a table and unwrapped his hands, stretching them as he did and looking up for only a moment when Andrew wandered over to him.

"What time did you get up? Even Natalia slept in today," Andrew said, leaning back against the table. "Though that probably had a lot to do with the fact that Jacob was sprawled across her."

Matthew looked at his friend knowingly. He and Andrew had already talked about Natalia not being an option for him.

"Mac said that Cal likes me," Andrew explained with a shrug. An excellent way to change the subject. Not.

"Are you going to give that a try?" Matthew asked him, turning around to lean against the table. His blood was still boiling, and it was taking everything in his body to calm himself down.

"Maybe, I don't know," Andrew skimmed his eyes across the group of initiates gathering on the training mat. "Doesn't seem fair I guess."

Fair? Andrew had no idea what unfair even was.

The two of them walked to the mat just as Natalia arrived with Jacob and Justin.

Natalia gave Matthew a weak smile as she stood next to him. Matthew returned it, knowing they were going to have to talk about what had happened later.

Matthew wanted to throw something again. He'd never get away from his mother, would he? He'd spend the rest of his life seeing her shadow everywhere.

"Do it again, and I'll beat your face in."

Matthew turned to see that Natalia was whispering to someone behind her, only to find that Thomas was the only one close enough to be bothering her. He observed them, then turned back to the front. Thomas was a jackass and would just piss him off more.

"Seriously?" Natalia whispered and turned her head again.

"Oh sorry, I just figured after you slept with Andrew and Jacob that you were making your rounds with all of the initiates," Thomas drawled, leaning toward her.

Matthew didn't even think after that, and found himself face to face with Thomas, holding his collar with a burning rage so fierce he was surprised he wasn't already beating his face in.

"Seriously dude?" Thomas said and laughed in his face.

"Don't talk to her like that," Matthew growled at him, gripping his collar tighter. He couldn't remember a time he'd felt this angry, and feeling Natalia's hand on his shoulder wasn't helping. If anything, it was making it worse. She wasn't just his cousin or his best friend; he was her sister. And there was no way in hell he was going to let anyone talk to her like that.

"That's enough you two!" Four yelled from the center of the room.

Thomas laughed and started to push him away, mouth open to respond, but before he could answer a loud voice came from the balcony above them.

"Let them fight."

Every head around them turned their gaze up to see that Max was standing above, watching them all with both Chris and Eric by his side.

"If the kid wants to pick a fight, then let them fight," Max said and motioned to the mat.

Thomas grinned as Matthew let go of his shirt, fold his arms.

When no one argued, Matthew turned around and stormed toward the training mat, the crowd moving as he did. Fuck it. He was far too angry to argue.

Thomas followed him to the mat and threw his shirt off, so Matthew did the same, hearing whispers from the people around them. Matthew saw Natalia move to the edge of the mat, her arms folded and a scowl on her face.

Good; she was angry. Matthew was starting to wonder when that would happen. She was usually the angry one. Not him.

Matthew held his stance up, glaring when he saw the confident look on Thomas's face when he turned toward his cousin. No, his sister. His fucking twin sister. God fucking damn it.

"Don't worry, Tiger," Thomas drawled with a smirk on his face. "I'll go easy on him for you."

Matthew saw the look of anger on Natalia's face after Thomas used that nickname. And it fueled his rage in a way that he never imagined possible. This jackass had no idea what he was getting into. He didn't realize that Matthew knew more than most people thought about fighting. Hell, just because he'd had an aptitude for Erudite as well, didn't make him any less Dauntless than anyone in this room.

When four signaled the start of the fight and Thomas turned toward him, all Matthew saw was red.

..

..

..

Natalia's POV

..

Anger was the only emotion that she saw on Matthew's face as he glared toward Thomas, who put his hands up and motioned to Matthew in a teasing way.

Matthew looked like he wanted to rip his head off, and it made Natalia want to throw something. The last thing she wanted to do was watch her best friend get the shit beat out of him because of her. And it was because of her, she shouldn't have let him stand up for her. She could do that herself.

She observed as they started to spar, more than surprised when Matthew dodged Thomas's punches easily. When the hell had he learned to do that? They'd only been in Dauntless two and a half weeks.

Natalia heard mutters from the crowd as Matthew dodged another punch, and kick, Thomas, looking more and more annoyed as he did. She forced herself to contain a gasp when Matthew finally threw a punch, landing on Thomas's jaw.

Thomas stopped for a moment and glared at him, then his composure changed entirely. He stepped forward and began throwing more punches.

Natalia flinched when one finally hit Matthew, slamming into his nose, which started bleeding immediately. Matthew let out a string of curses and wiped it away with his forearm. Then turned back to him and all but threw himself on top of him.

Natalia couldn't look away. She'd never seen Matthew this angry, and she knew he was letting it fuel his fight. She watched as they both threw punches, realizing after a few more hits to both sides that they were evenly matched because of Matthew's frustration. Or maybe he'd been holding back, and she hadn't noticed? But why would he have done that? It was insane.

"God Damn it!" Thomas yelled when Matthew kicked him to the side and threw a punch at his face again. He stumbled back, and Matthew took advantage of it, swinging again and knocking him off his feet.

"Get up," Matthew growled at him. "I'm not done with you."

Thomas stumbled to his feet and weakly held his hands up after wiping the blood off his face. The last hit had clearly left him weak.

Matthew swung again, and after hitting his face, Thomas fell to the ground again.

Natalia could tell that he wasn't getting up again. The entire room was silent, that is until Matthew stomped over to Thomas and grabbed him by the collar again, pulling him to a sitting position. Thomas blinked his eyes and stared at him furiously.

"If you ever," Matthew hissed into his face, "touch her, or talk to her like that again, I will kill you." He threw him away from him and stood up, storming toward where Natalia was.

She watched him with wide eyes. Natalia was shocked. Beyond shocked. She knew Matthew was mad, but this wasn't just anger. It was quite clear he'd been holding back. As he neared her, she reached her hand up to examine his face, but he slapped her hand away.

"It's fucking broken!" he pushed past her, and she turned to follow him to the infirmary, but he turned around and waved her away. "I'm a big boy I can get there myself," he snarled.

Natalia stopped in her tracks and watched him leave with wide eyes. Matthew had never talked to her like that, and she'd be lying if she didn't admit that it made her feel like crap. She tried to think that he was only angry, and it wasn't at her, even if he'd spoken to her like that.

No one had spoken, but Four was helping Thomas up from the mat and motioned for his friends to help them.

She gulped before looking up, only to find that Eric was glaring menacingly down at her. Max, surprisingly, had a smirk on his face as he watched Thomas. Chris was nowhere to be seen.

Well wasn't this just fucking fantastic.

Natalia looked back to Jacob who was watching her with wide eyes. She shrugged and looked toward Four again, who started yelling out orders to the other trainers to begin on the punching bags. She didn't bother saying anything to anyone as she wandered toward the bag with Jacob in tow.

She knew they were all going to ask her the same thing; if she knew that Matthew was capable of fighting like that. And it would only piss her off when she gave her an answer because she didn't know. Matthew was mad at his mother, fucking their mother. Fucking fuck. He had every right to be, of course. But that mad? No way it was possible. He'd definitely been holding back in their sparring sessions. The question was, why?

..


End file.
